One Piece: Legends

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Gentleman cho

Cheerio! Here lie the tales of the Jellyfish Pirates. Everything from side adventures to the main story can be found within these logs.

Episode X: Hail to the King

Episode X: Hail to the King

A Quick Prologue:
The Jellyfish Pirates have successfully defeated Don Kreig and crashed the King’s party in an attempt to weaken Fred’s powers. Since the Lord of Nightmares strikes when an island’s morale is at its highest, they had deduced it must have some effect on his powers as well. As Davy retrieved the final pure Sea Stone needed for the Nullification Device, Fred arrived and threw a fit of anger after rendering the revelers into a coma. However, the King also shows up and announces he had just learned of Fred’s plot to control him. With his own time running short, he vowed to force the dream master into performing a cure. As both were foiled in their plans, they settle into a war within the castle walls, and the Jellyfish Crew got caught in the middle of it.
Although fighting three fronts at once (the army, Fred, and the King), the crew pulls off a daring plan to defeat them both at the same time. As a final resort, the two demigod-like creatures unleash all the power they’ve been holding back: Fred’s being the newly acquired dream power of the island inhabitants, and the King’s being his true reality warping techniques that threaten to kill him. They fuse into one colossal monstrosity big enough in size to rival the volcano that rests at the center of the island, while the party thinks about their next move.

Except for those shunted to the extra-dimensional prison, the crew gathers at the center foyer of the castle. Tiamat, seeing the initial battle is won, cracks his knuckles and removes the white gloves on his hands. Revealing skeletal claws instead of flesh, he pierces the containing reality and rips open an escape portal. When everyone spills out, he gazes into the sky and calmly remarks, “That’s a big eyeball.”

“The easier to dissect of course.” Magnus replies, sharpening his scalpel.

“I’ll need a big can of pepper spray first!” Bubba adds.

“Eyeballs are one thing, but those tentacle things? Looks kind of into groping.” Davy remarks. This leads Kydd into protest about how they must defeat it and keep it away from High Schools, which the Captain agrees that it would be like setting his self loose near a middle school. When Magnus questions the Pirate Ninja about what tentacles might be used for, he discreetly reveals knowledge gained through certain adult books he has read.

“Those books are ecchi! You better not have snuck any aboard the ship!” Sakura protests, giving him an angry glare. Kydd shakes his head and comments that it was only for research purposes, but Magnus helps clarify that all such research material is safely stowed away within his pocket space.

“I’m going to poison you Magnus.” Kydd mutters under his breath.

“I prepare an antidote for every meal since Star Island. Nobody should experience a joyful married life strolling down beaches with Bubba twice in their life.” the Doctor replies, sending a memory induced chill down everyone’s back. Well, except for Number 4 and Bubba who are unsurprisingly immune.

“Where’d you even get those books?” the young journalist questions, only getting a slight hint from eyes that point to the ship’s junk collector. “I was wondering who got into my stash!” The Handyman shouts.

Suddenly a pain streaked roar echoes across the island. The central eye begins to open, forming a blazing crimson pupil in its center. The King and Fred may be at odds, but a common purpose units them together in thought and feeling: destruction of the Jellyfish Pirates.

Magnus is the first to respond to it, “Oh would you shut up? We’re having a very important conversation! There’ll be plenty of time for your ass kicking in a few!” Just then however, the Mosquito-Bat named Red flies in to deliver a message and map from Pan Zu, the ship’s navigator, “Marines are coming quicker than I had anticipated. Perhaps they have a new propulsion system? Anyways, moving to this location for pickup. Act quickly.”

As Davy finishes reading the letter, the Abomination begins to rage, firing reality warping beams in random directions. One even strafes half of the castle nearly catching Bubba and leaving nothing but dust in its aftermath. Number 4 rushes over to see if his boss is okay, “Bwaaa! That’s crazy!”

“Go block those things from hitting us Number 4.” Magnus suggests.

“But my body’s so small! And those beams are so big!” The small one protests, but upon seeing a life draining ray coming, he doesn’t hesitate to leap in its way, “I must repent!” Surprisingly, he survives, but still continues to scream like a small child from the attack, “I’m dead! I’m so dead! Uuugh! My chest!”

“Shut up and stop moving,” Tiamat commands, hovering a hand over Number 4’s heart, “That beam would have stopped a normal person’s vitals instantly. You’re lucky to have been resistant.” After a quick slam of his fist, Number 4’s vitals begin working once more, “I’ll begin leading the others back to the ship. With this many wounded, we have to move quickly to make it to the Eternity Rose on time." He commands the ones who can still move to handle stretchers for those still in critical condition. Davy gives him a nod of approval and looks at Magnus, Bubba, and Kydd.

“So Captain,” the paperbag wearing Doctor asks, “time to go play big damn heroes?”
Davy smiles, “I think so.” He asks Sakura for her pen and begins drawing strange symbols on the ground lined with Void century scripture.

“Why does this always happen to us?” Bubba complains, “How do we even kill something that big?” Magnus shrugs, “I’m not sure, but I’m putting all its tentacles in bowls of warm water tonight as it sleeps! And THEN replacing its toothpaste with shaving cream!”

Kydd adds, “I’ll, uh, hide its contact solution…?” This plan of action doesn’t really help soothe the worries of the rest of the crew, “Can they really fight something like that?” Sakura asks Tiamat. To which he smiles and gives her a small nod, “Davy defeated me once. And I was much worse than that floating meatball.”

The four that stay behind give her an overwhelming assurance of confidence as their battle spirits begin to rise to the occasion.

Davy crushes the quill pen in his grip, dripping the last bit of ink and blood onto the ground, “We can, and we will.”

Kydd’s face becomes a giant grin, “Easy peas-y.” Bubba gives a thumbs up, “No job’s too big for me.” Magnus flourishes his seven foot scalpel, “Though in retrospect, I should have went with the large one, but do we have a plan, or am I gonna have to wing it?”

“I have an idea,” Davy comments, “but it’s going to be very draining on me. Bubba. Kydd. I’m going to need both of you to attempt something very dangerous.”

“I’m ready to serve Cap’n.” Kydd instantly volunteers without question.
“As long as it doesn’t get me probed. I’m in.” Bubba agrees.

“What am I supposed to do? Distract it with jokes?” Magnus asks. However, at that time the monster finishes fusing together. Now with the central eye fully formed it gazes down at the Jellyfish pirates with pure hatred burning within. “You,” Magnus points, preparing to use a large amount of Haki, “just made your first-” and without warning, the gaunt scientist falls over devoid of life.

“Magnus!” Sakura yells, rushing over with Tiamat behind her. Davy’s butler looks over the fallen doctor noting, “Very strange. Despite his body being lifeless, I felt no spirit pass on. Where… is he?” He looks up to the Abomination in the sky, trying to get a better feel of the situation, “I believe he’ll come back to us. Sakura, bring his body with us to the ship.” She nods and loads Magnus onto a stretcher.

Davy thanks Tiamat for his assistance and bids him the best of luck. Then, he looks to the others asking if they are ready. Both look as excited as a child waiting for a new episode of cartoons. “Let our powers combine!” Bubba shouts, suddenly sparking to life a circular symbol beneath his feet.

Kydd does some sort of peculiar dance, no real purpose to it, but in his mind its a necessary part. “Fuuusioooooon, HA! Bermuda Triangle, Activate!” His dance ends on the second circle, lighting it up with a green energy.

Davy takes a deep breath, preparing himself mentally for the ritual’s completion. All three of his domains will be pushed to their maximum. He gazes at the three circles on the ground in a last double check. Bubba stands upon the symbol of Shadow. It uses the principal of similarity to share powers between them. Kydd stands upon the symbol of Travel. Through the principal of transference, another layer and link is established. Finally, Davy steps forward and activates the final symbol, Fate. The final layer creates an unbreakable bond of intertwined destinies.

“It’s morphin’ time!” They all shout, apparently the link already bonding together their thoughts. Then Kydd and Davy look at Bubba, who throws his hands up grinning, “I’ve always wanted to say that.” As each put forward an outstretched hand, the Black Spot on their palms begin to gather energy.

From above, the Abomination sees a gathering of lightning and storm. At the center of the magical vortex, a shadowy figure begins to grow. First to the size of a house, then to that of a tower, then to a size large enough its foot crushes the castle. When the vortex violently dissipates, a colossus of hybridized insect, covered in various emblems and streaked with glowing lines of power, bellows. The force knocks over trees and fractures the land with cracks. In its right hand is an over-sized katana, with void script running down the blade, and an edge that burns with an intense shadowy aura. However, what’s barely noticeable, is a small man riding on the right shoulder, keeping the most intense of concentration to tie it all together.

“Better find some toilet paper.” Bubba warns, “Because I’m going to take the biggest dump in history!” They find themselves beset on all sides by the collective dreaming apparitions of the island’s inhabitants. Although each dream demon is half their size, their numbers form a dangerous horde.

The Abomination snarls at the trio, firing a random eye stalk laden with mental energy. However, Kydd slices through the air, his Infinite Edge splitting the beam in half and converging shadows around them like a cloak. As the monster tries to pierce the veil of darkness, a pool of shadows bursts from above.

“Mexican Dump Truck!” Bubba shouts, smashing a mighty fist into the apex of the creature’s skull. Although an invisible barrier intercedes between the fist and monster, it stands no match as Bubba pours his heart and soul into the attack, shattering the wall of force. After it connects, a shock wave of energy sends it crashing towards the ground, but before it hits the dirt, Kydd morphs into a weighted chain and is thrown to wrap around their foe. With another pull Bubba smashes the foe back towards the ground and follows through with blades of wind that explode on the ground sending nearby dream demons scattering. When Kydd morphs back into the over-sized odachi, they finish the combo with a wide slash that rains shuriken everywhere below.

Before the dust clears, a volley of rays parts the cloud and begins the abomination’s counterattack. Bubba gracefully twists through the air to weave through the first barrage, but gets caught by the next when he lands on the ground. Their combined efforts parry and dodge through most of the beams, but Bubba takes a hit to the leg and turns to stone before being buffeted again and again by concussive force.

Davy sees the cracks starting to appear on Bubba’s stone form and notices the dream horde closing in on them. Even the ones thought defeated by the initial attack get back up and charge. He thinks to himself, “It’s main offense is going to be disabling us and then letting the horde pick us apart while we’re helpless. I’ll have to deal with them.”

Suddenly he hears a familiar female voice in his head, “I can sense your intent Davy… don’t do it!” It was the voice of Calypso, his guardian star. Even his guiding star Hadar, interjects with a warning, “It’s much too dangerous. You’ve never been able to close it, that’s why you never used it!”

“We need him, even if its the worst case scenario. I know I can’t close it, but with everyone’s help, there’s a small chance I can. Besides, you know how I am.” Davy responds while searching his memories for a long forgotten ritual.

As he evokes a new emblem, Davy appears within a stone chamber of royal decoration, but without a roof, only a night sky. He looks up at a whirlpool suspended against the wall above the throne, which forms a large tentacled head that speaks to him, “Indeed I do know you. A Jellyfish that never thinks. That’s what I like about you…”

A female knight, clad in plate and wielding a broadsword stands on the left side of the room, “Caiphon! Long time no see!” While a cloaked assassin with a white bone mask, stands to the right, “Looking deadly as ever my Lord!” Davy pays no pleasantries, “There you are.”

Caiphon’s voice echoes like thunder and crashes like the sea, “You’ve invoked the rite… what have you to say me to me after all these years?”

“This Pirate King needs your help in combating the creature’s minions. Devour the dream manifestations, but you are not to destroy this world.” The Captain replies.

“Haaahahahaha!” The room itself shakes with the bellowing laughter, “Open the gate, I’ll devour these dreams first, but it is up to you to close the gate before I proceed with other things. I make no promises otherwise Jellyfish. Do we have a deal?”

Hadar makes a final plea, “Davy, he’ll destroy the whole damn world if you can’t do this.”

The captain hesitates only for a moment to hear the voices of his comrades. Bubba confidently reassures, “Don’t worry, I can fix it.” Kydd bravely notes, “I’ll turn him into Kalamari if he tries.”

“Then I’ll take the risk Caiphon.” Davy brazenly shouts, “Besides, when have I ever been cautious? You won’t have this world, because it’s mine for the taking!” Suddenly from back in the mortal realm, Davy hears, “I’ll kill you monster! You’ve taken everything from me! I will have my vengeance!”

“Hold that thought, I’ll be right back.” Davy snaps back to reality in time to see a monstrous visage of the poacher Bubba defeated twice before charging towards them, while the demon army closes in on all sides like a hungry pack of lions. “Stargate!” the Captain yells, teleporting the three out of danger in just the nick of time. Although the horde had been avoided, the mad poacher closes in. It stretches out a claw and suddenly a thousand phantom soldiers surround and thrust at the petrified Handyman.

Davy calls out to Kydd, “We’ve got to protect him until we can break the stone transmutation!”
“I’m on it Captain!” replies the first mate, turning into a staff that extends into the ground and carries them upwards, out of reach of the conjured army. As they come back down to earth, Kydd strains his imagination as to how he’s going to land a colossal statue safely to the ground.

The scene turns to a bleak laboratory of black and white. At the center, written in the only color visible, red, is the calculations for an experiment upon a whiteboard. “Mistake!” Magnus finishes his sentence, “Eh, where is this?” He approaches the whiteboard, studying it closely.

“Man, these guys are sloppy!” he says before picking up a red marker to correct the calculations. He deduces this was the experiment to give the King amplified powers, but it’s strangely written in a handwriting he doesn’t recognize. Isn’t it supposed to be Oak’s theory? As he approaches the end of the calculation, he wonders why this would even work. It’s all impossible and wrong. “What kind of scientist would do work like this?” He finishes it, capping the marker and placing it back down. “Fixed! Hmm, it should cause a temporary distortion of energy, but nothing permanent or profound.”

Suddenly the whiteboard cracks like glass being hit by a baseball bat. Then it collapses in on itself and sucks Magnus into the void. Afterwards, he breaks away to view the battle through one of the Abomination’s eyes. Seeing the trio falling from the sky he quickly applies the formula to a his fin funnel.

Before hitting the ground, a beam of green light hits Bubba and the stony transformation begins to break free. Gaining sight in a single eye Bubba looks in panic at the ground. He hears Kydd’s determined voice ring clearly, “DON’T GIVE UP! NEVER GIVE UP!” A violent explosion of rocks scatter like leaves in a tornado and Bubba hits the ground as flesh once more. “Did I just get probed?”

The Abomination soon forces shut the eye Magnus was controlling, shunting him back to the recesses of subconscious thought. The other eyes begin their barrage once more and Bubba dives, flips, and parries through them before catching a beam that robs him of vision by turning his eyes into black orbs.

Davy asks Bubba if he’s alright, “Don’t worry. I don’t need those!” His normally slicked back antennae swing forward, granting him vision beyond mere eyesight. He parries off several demon blows and punches a hole through the crowd with a mighty thrust as Kydd assumes the form of a metallic spear.

Its point lances towards their nemesis like a bullet, but crashes against a wall of pure immovable force. Kydd spirals like a drill against it, forcing cracks to appear in the air around the abhorrent fusion. However, the edge itself also begins to break down and the result is a mighty explosion which sends both sides sliding back.

After Bubba clears some space with a flurry of roundhouse kicks and punches, he slashes towards the sky pelting demons out of the air with a burst of shuriken. They then take a stance with Kydd in short sword form, readying a burst of speed for when the barrage of beams come at them once more. When the first ray is fired, they seem to disappear. The telekinetic ray impacts into the ground and flattens trees and hills. As the barrage continues, they almost seem to teleport about the battlefield, but the perceptive eyes of the abomination keep up the Gatling Beam assault.

Now close enough, they dash at such an explosive speed that they break the sound barrier. They come to a sliding halt at the beaches opposite from the side at which they attacked. The barrier protecting the creature suddenly tears for a moment as a thin line slashes across it causing the creature to bleed violently.

As it turns around, several demon hands erupt from the ground beneath them and bind Bubba’s feet. When the abomination turns around to blast them into the ocean, it meets a surge of blinding light. Although unable to move, Bubba holds Kydd up high as a great shield to reflect the sun’s rays and blind the creature for a moment, forcing its eyes shut. “Davy,” they both ask, “Can you get rid of these pests now?”

“Working on it.” the Captain replies, reappearing back within the Celestial court. “You won’t eat this world Caiphon. I’ll stop you before that happens. Now, we have a deal correct?” The disembodied head within the void nods, “You make foolish bargains Jellyfish! Let the world quake with fear at my return!”

Much to each demon’s horror, astral tentacles rise out of the ground and bind their hands and feet. Even the ones holding Bubba’s legs are crushed and pulled into the air dangling like marionettes. “Now open the gate, so that I may feast!” Caiphon demands, his words faintly echoing in the minds of everyone on the island.

However, the poacher’s manifestation managed to escape the tentacles by flying overhead. With both palms forward, he opens a dream portal that causes acid to crash down like a waterfall on the trio. To counter the deadly attack, Kydd encases them inside a sphere which shrinks down to nothing.

Beta wakes up momentarily, seeing the giant monstrosity in the sky. “Must be still asleep, going back to bed. Huh? What the!” She grabs the small medallion Kydd gave her earlier and throws it away in shock. It then forms a bubble which expands to gigantic proportions and then pops to reveal the trio unscathed by acid. Davy stretches out his arm, “Shadow Claws!” and drags the poacher from the sky. In unison, the trio yell, “If you want to get involved with my fight, then make yourself useful!”

Now a chamber filled with machines comes into view for Magnus. The central computers and hardware constantly spark and fizzle, coming to life for brief seconds before dying and going inanimate once more. Magnus claps his hands and giggles like a schoolgirl, “New technology! Experiments! Next will be testing chambers!” He grabs some tools from a nearby bench and fixes the broken machine, noting again, the same oddities.

Certainly Oak’s handiwork, sloppy and prone to explosions, but the marks and writing, again the manuscript is by an unknown hand. As he powers up the machine, a sudden warning plays through the overhead speakers, “Please be advised that a noticeable taste of blood is not part of any test protocol but is an unintended side effect of the Magnus Material Emancipation Grid, which may, in semi-rare cases, emancipate dental fillings, crowns, tooth enamel, and teeth.” Soon after finishing, it explodes, taking him to another view of the battlefield.

To the rest of the crew, the creature seems to look a bit more tired, vomiting some weird paste all over the ground beneath it before an eye stalk bursts from a rather familiar dissection style. As the invisible wall of force cracks and shatters permanently, it rages and fires petrifying eye beams in all directions hoping to catch his internal assailant.

As they strafe in on Bubba, sky blue veins snake cross his body, a trademark of Davy’s moments of great strength. His upper two arms lift the poacher into the air and one more palm strikes him in the gut, sending him flying into the beam’s path. The creature’s momentum stops instantly, falling to the ground and shattering into thousands of pieces.

They begin another dash at the weakened creature. With an outstretched hand Kydd whirls like a helicopter blade to ward off incoming fire, pulling back at the last second when Bubba yells, “Wrath of the Monarch!” Infused with the memories of a thousand martial arts, he begins striking the abomination with a barrage of pokes that impact like a machine gun dead set on overheating the barrel. The final strike sends it flying back into the mountain side, shaking violently as a ringing sound echoes louder and louder. A final swipe of the infinite edge appears succeeded by several shadowy after images, cleaving the rock face like a quartet of chainsaws before resulting in a thunderous explosion.

Still not down for the count, the rock pile burying it begins to stir. Determined to press the advantage, Bubba leaps into the air ready to unleash one of his deadliest techniques, “Wasteland, Apocalypse!” A mighty shout of epic proportions crumbles the stone and the mountain itself seems to whittle into a descending dust cloud before flattening the creature against the earth. Seismic waves of pulsing radiation then continue to press the creature until it the earth sinks into a fiery magma pit. When the technique finishes, the hole erupts into a pillar of molten flame.

As Bubba stands in awe of how powerful the technique was, the magma shifts and is blasted in all directions by a wave of force. The smoldering blisters on the creatures skin begin to fade and it bears vicious fangs at the three. All of sudden, the stalks on his head begin regenerating and some even begin to split into more tentacled eye stalks!

A storm of eye rays fills the air and drives them back. Despite their best efforts to parry and deflect, impact after impact push them into the angry grasp of demons that hold Bubba still. With each blast he loses strength and blood gushes from the Roach Zoanthrope’s mouth. Yet, he stares at the creature defiant, as if such wounds were only tickling him. The creature’s mouth then opens to reveal a new oculus of malevolence, the eye of domination.

Unable to dodge, the beam hits the Handyman right in the forehead. Bubba’s mind then begins to fade and his limbs go limp. He looks at the sword, “Hey Kydd…” With their mind’s linked he turns Kydd into a staff, plunges him into the ground and begins pole dancing.

“Cap’n!” Kydd pleas, “Do something! I’m being violated because Bubba’s being dominated!”

“Open the gate,” Caiphon echoes in Davy’s head, “you sense your friends are in danger right?” Pulling out a dagger, the Pirate Captain pierces his own hand with the entirety of the blade. As he pulls the knife out, he speaks in a long forgotten tongue and the blood that should cover the blade starts to form scripture and runes. When he holds it towards the sky, clouds begin to spiral.

“Caiphon!” Davy shouts, “Devourer of worlds, eternal hunger of the night sky, and king of stars, I invoke our pact and summon you!” He then hurls the dagger into the air, where it plunges into an invisible tear in reality. As a wormhole sucks the blade inside, a bright flash of light engulfs the ritual blade. Soon, a malevolent laughter beyond the terrors of any mortal shake the very core of each demon, but not for long as the astral tentacles that were ensnaring them pull each one into a void. A loud crunching noise is then heard from a place without destination, and the sea to the north begins to spiral into a huge whirlpool five times the size of the island itself.

“I’ve fulfilled my end the of the bargain.” Caiphon growls as a single hand to dwarf even the mightiest of battleships rises out of ocean. “And now… I think I’ll make a light snack of this island…”

Davy reaches out to close the gate, but the constant gyrations and grinding of his compatriot leave little room for anymore concentration. “Argh! I’m gonna slap some sense into ya!” he yells, “Slap of Hadar!” A crimson claw of energy and shadow abruptly backhands Bubba’s cheek, but to no avail. “Argh! Wake the FUCK UP! DOUBLE SLAP OF HADAR!” Davy determinedly shouts, forming two claws that wallop the dominated Plumber’s face in quick succession.

“Huh what? Did I miss something?” Bubba says, “Hey! Who’s the big fish?”
“Next time… I’m castrating you.” Kydd remarks, shifting back into sword form.

Meanwhile, inside of the creature, Magnus walks through a dense fog until he comes across an ivory tower. Swirling mists of chaos surround the building whose inside is filled with various Escher looping staircases that make little sense on how to navigate. Magnus chuckles to himself as he opens the door and stares at the various confusing passageways.

Coming out of a chaotic maze is nothing for all the time Magnus spent navigating the maze in Zelda 1! He enters a doorway and then comes through a signature trapdoor at the top level. “Of course, a little Blanket Abracadabra doesn’t hurt anything either.” Magnus says, reaching into his coat and hitting a button that plays the Discovery tune.

As he enters the top floor, there’s a lab coated figure with grey hair standing at the top, overlooking a portal into the battle, laughing. Suddenly, it all clicks together!

Oak is the source of madness! It all makes sense to Magnus now. Indeed, back when he was first encountered, Magnus noted never hearing of such a professor. In fact, all the mishaps that would have stemmed from his inventions, had not for the doctor interfering, bear the same mark of “This shouldn’t really work.” They’re chaotic. They’re a little unscientific. Even Oak’s capture was because the King senses his location and their link connecting each other. It was all his plot to return to the King and take control of the fusion.

“Oh,” The professor turns and folds his arms, “fancy seeing you here. I guess by now you’ve figured out that I wasn’t real before the explosion and the experiments were all written by the King’s hand, with a little help from me inside his head.”

Magnus flourishes his scalpel, “You act as if you almost expected me, and talk as if I should know the real you. I guess it’s time to dissect you and get to the heart of this matter, yes?” He then chuckles, “Oh, I’m so punny!”

“Just try it son of Vegapunk. This fusion will become perfect with your power added to it! I’ve waited for this for a long time since you first started interfering with all of my devices.”

“So, your incompetent and stupid too.” he says, looking for openings, “I’ll try and fix your brain when I open you up. Though, that maybe beyond the mix of modern science.” He suddenly releases a wave of Haki at the portal, “So just keep your mouth shut and die for me?"

As the creature prepares to fire another ray of domination, its mouth suddenly closes and its eye stalks turn against it with multiple death rays. Pain sears every inch of its being and the trio outside take advantage of the moment of weakness. A swift axe kick bounces it off the ground and an additional over-sized blade of light appears in his left set of arms to compliment the sword of darkness in his right.

Both swords dance with elegance as memories of swordsmanship flow through the normally tool wielding plumber. It drives the beast back and sends a dozen cuts along its body before the Infinite Edge plunges into the central eye to disorient it. However, it looses a horrific roar that knocks them back. He rises into the air, wounds closing and a menacing wave of energy shaking the ground beneath. “Pirates… Peasants… I will not be defeated by the likes of you!”

However, to make matters worse, half of Caiphon appears to be risen from the portal. His truly mighty form is only compounded by the writhing mass of tentacles stretching outwards from his head. Light itself seems to barely escape as shadows pull and wave against his form like the terror itself he evokes. Davy takes the moment where the abomination regenerates to try and close the gate, but color and liveliness fade from his own face more than Caiphon does from reality.

Davy tries once more, clenching his fist with all his might, trying desperately to close the gate, but Caiphon just laughs at him. The Captain shouts in anger, “Don’t look down on me and the Jellyfish Pirates!”

“I told you it was impossible Davy!” Calypso says, “Now that he’s eaten all the dreams of this island, we’re next!” However, Bubba gives the ancient horror the finger and Kydd sharpens his focus on attack. “No we are not!” Davy says, “We can’t defeat him in battle, but give me a hand you two. We WILL send him back.”

Davy channels all his power once more into the union, turning Kydd into an ornate Zweihander that looks heavy enough for all four of Bubba’s arms. “Travel,” Davy thinks to himself, emblazing Kydd like the Starblade he normally wields, “Travel is the governor of gates, even the gate of celestial beings.” Then Bubba’s emblems all begin to glow and sky blue veins weave throughout his body, his eyes alight with the same power. “Shadow,” He continues the thought, “Like affects like. Caiphon and I share a bond… and through my own injury, I shall gain the power needed to do this!”

With one mighty stab, they plunge the blade into the land, channeling combined power into the closing of the gate. “Hold it together Bubba!” Davy yells, tendrils already coming from the ground and sapping his strength.

“You can’t break me!” the monstrous shapeshifter yells, driving the tentacles back into the ground and sucking Caiphon back into the Void. “Aargh! How?” He bellows, then stares at Jellyfish Pirates giving it their all to close the gate, he almost seems pleased, “Lets do dinner again sometime. Haahahaha!”

“When we dine in Hell,” Davy replies, “lets raise a drink!”

As the portal reaching the final moments of closure, a haunting voice runs through the Captain’s head, “And never forget Davy… your soul will one day be devoured by me. I’ve waited over a thousand years, I can wait… another…”

Back at the Celetial court, Hadar and Calypso wipe the sweat from their brow. “Why so much interest in that one Caiphon?” Hadar asks. His female compatriot adds, “Well, other than the fact he’s so dreamy! Yea, why fate a man the world? The deal was broken last time, he doesn’t owe you anything.” Davy on the other hand sneezes and shutters.

“Pay attention Davy,” Bubba says, regaining his second wind, “we’re still dealing with the Eye.”

Meanwhile, Magnus raises a barrier to block a mighty slam. Towering above him is a muscle laden beast with a grey mane and clothed by a tattered lab coat. “Consider yourself lucky.” The doctor praises, “You get to become the first test subject of everything I’ve been holding back. Try not to break too easily.”

“Overdrive Mode!” He shouts, a blast wave of Haki forming a barrier around him and pressing the beast back. “And now… Destruction Mode!” Then the single visible eye of the doctor glows red and a second wave knocks the creature off its feet and sends it tumbling back. The earth beneath cracks and shutters from the intense haki, which forms a giant sphere of visible energy surrounding him. “Now don’t disappoint me.”

Soon, weapons of all sorts begin sprouting from Magnus’s sleeves. “Rail Minigun!” The torrent of gunfire imbued with Haki bullets tears the first form asunder, but it reforms as Fred. “I’ll-” “Singularity Cannon!” He cuts off his enemy’s speech as his next arm produces a scientific weapon that should probably be mounted on a battleship, blasting the enemy to bits with one great beam, but it reforms as the King. “Nev-” “Gravity Ba-bomb!” He then grabs his head and throws it against his opponent’s chest, resulting in an explosion that flattens it in a matter of seconds. “Die!” And then the final form of the giant monstrosity, to which Magnus pauses for a moment.

“Good! Then I’ll have fun taking you apart for all eternity!… ALL THE MISSILES!” He then grabs his shirt and rips open a hole from which dozens and dozens of warheads launch from a pocket space silo. When the devil fruit dimension finally empties itself, all that’s left is a glowing heart floating in space which gently descends into Magnus’s hands. Digging deep into his pockets, almost devoid of anything but lint, he pulls out his true coup de grace: a bottle of Tabasco sauce, extra hot pepper. He throws it at the portal with the last bit of his strength and nails it with an Eyebeam. Then, he collapses to a knee, staring at the only chance of escape he has, trying to convince his legs to move. “Come… on.” He tells himself, seeing the others moving in for the deathblow, “Move it Magnus!”

For just a brief moment, the creature loses consciousness and its red, irritated, watery eyes roll back in their sockets. Then all of a sudden, “Dismantling Dilldozer!” Bubba surprises the creature with a sudden dash, crouched in front of him and wings in full spread. A rising uppercut sends it into the sky and he continues the flurry like a train of fists. A hundred punches pushes the eye tyrant higher and higher, with the final hit striking with such intensity the creature erupts into a green flames. As it comes crashing back down, all his arms grip hold of Kydd the Infinite Edge in Scythe form. The trio shouts in unison, “Junkyard, Execution!” Cleaving through the enemy and severing the abomination’s fusion.

As the two halves come falling down to the earth, Davy breaks the fusion and teleports in front of the King. He’s not sure how this device will work and certainly didn’t want to catch his companions in the blast. “Hope you remember to show some gratitude,” the Jellyfish Captain remarks as he pulls out the Nullification device and aims it directly at the King’s head. Magnus really doesn’t want to stick around for this and engages an override on one of his air cannon dials, blasting the ground in a desperate launch for safety.

“Hail to Davy Fuckin’ Jones… the True King!”

Episode 16: The Halo'd One

Transcribing in Progress

Episode 15: "Stick"ing Together

“Put your boots back on! You’re making it mad!” Bubba says.

“I HAVE boots on. If anyone could anger an island that way, it’d be you.” Davy replies, “Anyways, it’s over now so we should continue.” He looks around and finds a bit of flotsam. “AH HAAA!” He suddenly drives a stick into the ground, “The town’s over… that way!” As he points towards the direction of the town he looks back to the other members of his crew, “We’ll meet up in one hour and then proceed to the device. If that plan falls through, just try not to die. Remember to pick up some food for the ship Kydd.”

Kydd checks his pockets, “I may find more food in town, but Jungle food is always free!”

“Bubba you should go check for any useful items in…” Davy pauses, just noticing the absence of his ship’s handyman, “He’s already gone. Does he even know where the town is located?” He shrugs, looking around for Magnus. Also gone. A deep sigh later, he tightens up his boots and sets out.

As Davy Jones finally departs towards what he strongly believes is the town, Sakura gives a happy smile to her comrades, “I guess I’m with the Metal Team!” KG and Kydd give her a thumbs up, proceeding as a group into the forest after she awkwardly returns the gesture.

What they thought was a village, turns out to be more of a small outpost where the sound of swords clashing and manly grunting fill the air. Despite the militaristic feel though, beautiful gardens and waterways bring life to the tiny enclave, whereas several expertly crafted sculptures create a feeling of majesty. Soon enough though, a patrolman yells at a nearby dumpster while Magnus and Davy stand nearby, “Come out of there now! Your kind isn’t allowed on these grounds unless given permission by the border guards!”

“How did you ever discover us? Was it Bubba’s scent?!?” Magnus replies innocently, discreetly hiding his kidnapping equipment behind his back.

“Actually yes. We thought it was the desert creatures coming back or another assault…” They reply, a look of disbelief in their eyes when the crew hobo pokes his head out from the dumpster. “But it looks like we were wrong.”

“He will assault your nose. That’s for certain.” Magnus says, his easy going nature putting the guards at ease. They lower their guard as Bubba climbs out with a sack full of recyclables. He curiously asks, “So what is this place?”

“This is a training facility for the Midisporian Knights.” The guard explains, prompting a puzzled look from the two.

“Never heard of you.” Bubba remarks, not impressed in the slightest.

The guard beckons, “That’s not surprising. Our island is a well kept secret… Follow me. I’ll give you the tour. Our paintings and statues capture the history of our island marvelously.” Davy nods and follows for the history lesson, but quietly tells the others to be cautious and alert.

“We owe our prosperity to our two founding fathers, Shiki and Enel.” His open palm gestures towards a tall statue of a man with a lion like mane of hair, standing on swords for legs. His other hand draws attention to a younger looking man with long earlobes and a bandana.

“Our father Shiki gave us the first form, Armament, and his descendants all possess the ability to move objects by following the way of Clarity.”

Magnus ponders giving KG sword legs, but moves on to his next observation, “Move objects? Can’t anyone do that? I mean just pick it up, and throw it or carry it over.”

“Haha, perhaps. However, through peace we can attain the ability to do so without even being close to the object.” The guide explains, closing his eyes and concentrating for a moment. Soon after, the rocks scattered about the field levitate into the air and arrange themselves in a much more artistic pattern.

Magnus, however, walks over and blast the rocks with his arm cannons, “So, like this?”

The guide sighs heavily, such a crude bunch, “No no no. That’s dial technology, we don’t use that here aside from the heat swords.”

This prompts a barrage of questions. Davy asks about the heat swords and dial technology, while Magnus asks if it would be possible to make heat scalpels. Bubba’s questions though, are directed towards the giant object at the center of the island. The guard looks overwhelmed for a moment, but tries his best to answer their questions, his eyes making sure reinforcements have begun their encirclement.

“Yes, after our drop from the heavens, our cloud dials couldn’t take the atmospheric pressure here at sea level.” He explains, “However, we’ve grown rather advanced with our Light Dials. These are just one product of our dials.” He holds out a blade-less hilt and presses a button to make a three foot solidified beam emerge, "Also commonly referred to as Solar Dials, because many collect the sun’s energy.

Magnus lectures further, “Dials are a sort of technology that stores a specific type of energy. All the wind that blows through these dials on my arm, accumulate over time, and then get unleashed in a blast of heavy air.”

Bubba turns towards the ominous floating sphere, “And what’s that?” Davy adds, “And who built it?”

“Ah, that’s the Oran-Two. It’s quite advanced you see, built by our top scientist, Steale. I’m afraid I don’t have anymore information than that. We’re merely the Police force of this island. However, getting through the desert would be your greatest obstacle. It’s quite dangerous. You’re better off sailing around and docking at the World Government port.” He says with narrowed and suspicious eyes.

“Continue the history lesson if you please.” Davy prompts.

“Ah yes yes yes.” Now the guide motions towards the statue of the younger man, “This next statue is of Enel, our most recent founder. He was the one who gave us the way of Clarity. Those with his bloodline excel in the ways of Mantra and channel electricity.” He beckons the group to follow him towards two more statues, “And these two statues are of the current heads of the Council, Ferris and Eli. Each is an S class ranked member of the Armament and Mantra disciplines.”

“S Class?” Magnus asks curiously, somewhat curious about the science behind all this. The guide nods, explaining that Knights are ranked according to their respective power level. The S class is reserved for the highest spore counted individuals who have mastered their potential.

Magnus and Davy look at Bubba when fungus is mentioned, “Spore count?”

Bubba happily explains his thoughts, “You know these things on my back.” Then, he quickly removes his shirt, causing Davy and Magnus to blind themselves from the horror. Although a little sickened, the guide corrects them, “The scientist Steale discovered the reason for Knight powers are connected with the local fungi, Midispores.” After another puzzled look from the crew, “Yes, tiny fungi take up residence within every living thing on this island. They are usually transmitted through the food cycle. Don’t worry though, they’re rather harmless to outsiders.”

Magnus ponders over the guide’s choice of words, “Can anyone absorb these spores? And do you mean to imply that they aren’t harmless to the local inhabitants?”

“Any can indeed, but they only seem to affect the humans that live on this island. No outsiders before have ever had the Midi-fever, but it can be quite deadly though if you don’t possess a strong enough fortitude. However, we train our children from birth to be warriors, so that when the sickness does take hold, the poison produced by the spores within their system does not kill them.”

“Has there ever been other powers reported by these things?” Magnus inquires.

“No other abilities have been observed for a very long time. Though, our oldest texts state that there used to be all kinds of spore powers and all creatures on this island had the potential to awaken. I’d assume the first step towards it would be a devil fruit user in your lineage, but the further the parent, the thinner his blood becomes it seems.”

Episode 14: Star Island Ahoy

“Looks like a Marine Convoy. I see several cargo ships with an armed escort.” Beta reports.

The crew seems itching for their cargo, but Davy declines the notion. “They have an advantage at range because of their number of cannons. Fighting more than a single Battleship on open seas would be suicide. We should avoid them for now.”

“Maybe when we’re docked, we can steal supplies?” Kydd suggests.

Davy nods, “Are they headed in the same direction as us Beta?” She confirms and the captain eases back the throttle for the paddle system to drop out of possible detection range. Davy stares into the sky for a moment with spaced out look on his face, “I’ll steer us around to the other side of the island. It should be safe to dock there. If my information is correct, the Log Pose should take three days to reset.” He holds out a strange globe with a compass needle floating inside.

He continues the explanation for the crew members that never been to the Grand Line, “These things, Log Poses, are the only way to properly navigate the Grand Line. Every time we reach an island, we have to wait for it to attune. After that time, it will point towards the next island.” Bubba says that it sounds like magic, but Davy reassures him that it’s just special magnets.

The Jellyfish Captain smiles at little bit, the prospect of adventure and exploration certainly pleases him, “I do want to organize a scouting team for this island. I don’t recall an island within the Calm Belt at this location.”

Kydd asks with a hopeful ring to his voice, “Could it be Amazon Lily?”

Davy shakes his head, “We’re far off from Amazon Lily, so don’t get your hopes up.” He looks down at the Log Pose, “And we aren’t even in the Grand Line yet, these devices aren’t supposed to point to islands in the Calm Belt or even man made islands. I’m sure I’ll know more when we see it though.”

Bubba moves to the front of the ship waiting for signs of the island, the thought of treasure and mountains of junk on his mind. Actually, each of the crew is stoked in spirits. The possibility of finally landing a big haul or exploring a strange new island ignited the explorer’s fire within them.

“We’ll split into different parties for scouting and duties. I’ll take Magnus and Bubba for some sight seeing. Kydd, KG, and Sakura will form the other group. Magnus, I’ll need you to pick up medical supplies, and… if you can handle interacting with the locals discreetly,” Davy points directly at Magnus, “And by discreetly I don’t mean stealthy kidnappings, I’m fine with whatever else you do.”

“Kidnappings? I only want Devil Fruit users.” Magnus protests, already conniving ways to kidnap them, “Besides, my face isn’t on the wanted list.”

Sakura holds up a finger to point out, “The bag is certainly suspicious though.”

“Suspicious? It’s the perfect fashion accessory!” The mad doctor exclaims, “Hmm… maybe I should make Kydd fly to get a better scouting advantage. That wouldn’t be suspicious right?”

Kydd shakes his head, “I’d say that would be very suspicious.”

After a few hours taken from the detour, Star Island comes into view. It’s quite beautiful much to everyone’s surprise. The beaches are cloud white, while lush jungles surrounding an ivory desert also decorate the landscape. Oddly enough though, the land remains white even in the desert. Every inch of soil is white, not a speck of mud, dirt, or sand. At the center of the island however, one can clearly see a giant, partially constructed metallic sphere floating ominously.

Magnus and Bubba ask in unison, “Cap’n, think we can steal that?”

Davy Jones stares curiously at it, “I’ve no idea… but judging from its construction, I’d say those convoys were loaded with building supplies for it.”

Kydd’s hand forms a fist, knowing this may be one hell of a fight, “Well, whatever it is… it would probably be advantageous for us to bring its construction to a stop.”

Davy Jones strains his memory for a second, trying to remember that which had happened so long ago, “I hope that’s not what I think it is. During the last great war, there were a number of great and terrible weapons constructed. It bears an odd resemblance to the Uranu, an ancient Skypean war machine.”

Magnus places a hand to his chin, “Sounds like an even better reason to steal it! Or, ya know, at least steal its technology and destroy it.”

Kydd turns back to Davy, “But no one can read Void Century Poneglyphs. How are they able to construct something like that?”

“Hmm? Poneglpyh? You mean the old language died out?” Davy asks. For something like his own language to disappear, dramatic changes must have occurred while he fished away inside that Goldfish for the past thousand years. “Either way, information on what they’re building should be our top priority. Prepare to set out! We’ll be dropping anchor here.”

The crew mans the lifeboats and Beta lowers them into the waters. She had been appointed the job of cleaning and guarding the ship until everyone returns. Sometimes having great eyes turns out to be a disadvantage it seems.

The crew happily disembark upon reaching the shoreline, but their captain’s the last one to step off. He hates land, but finally musters up the will to plant a boot into the sand, but as soon as he does a loud grumble shakes the island and notifies him: they are not welcome.

Episode 13: Poisonous Waters and Deadly Socks

“What do you see Fluffy?” KG calls up to the Crow’s nest.

“Mew!” Which roughly translates to “Pretty purple clouds, and lizard rain.”

Beta sighs, wondering why people are even waiting on a report from the cat. She quickly climbs the mast to get a better look. Aiming her rifle towards the horizon, she peers through her rifle scope. “It appears like purple clouds are coming from the ocean, then lizards come raining down shortly after.”

Bubba appears, net in hand and ready to catch dinner, “Kydd, get ready to make some lizard soup tonight! Looks like food IS going to hop on deck!” Magnus passes on the idea, “Wierd weather? Looks like time for my daily nap.”

Davy Jones clarifies the phenomenon to Beta, “The Calm Belt is notorious for being a Sea King spawning ground. The poisonous bubbles of the Ocean Swamp on the way to the surface catch nearby sea king spawn and release them into the air. They’re usually rather hungry being kids and all. If we hit a poisonous gas pocket, could mean trouble.”

Beta shivers, “Geez ocean, you scary.”

Davy waves his hand like he was slashing a sword, drawing everyone’s attention, “Everyone below deck! You don’t want to be directly exposed to that toxin. The sea king spawn can stand it, but its deadly to us who normally breathe air. KG, you have to steer the ship through here.” The robot salutes and gives his most motivated “Aye Aye!” Fluffybeard climbs down and seals himself up in his guardian’s chest compartment while everyone else descends below.

Trying his best to analyze the ocean currents KG fearlessly steers the ship, but he concludes that for the most part, these clouds are unpredictable. It’s going to be a bumpy ride.

As the Eternity Rose sails through Ocean Swamp, three poison clouds hit the ship and three more are barely dodged. A toxic fog lingers around the ship, but it doesn’t phase the robot in the slightest. When the purple fog finally starts to clear, KG notices the ship has plenty of hungry creatures on deck. However, they don’t pay him any mind and seem much more interested in a bowl of barely touched soup.

It doesn’t take long before a bigger lizard scares away the smaller ones fighting over food rights, lapping up the contents in a single lick. Such a tiny meal did not satisfy in the slightest however, so they immediately go back to hunting.

“Her heart beat faster and faster. It was as if the ocean itself sent demons to take her very soul.” Sakura muses to herself, finding inspirational spark already in her journey.

Fluffybeard scratches at KG’s insides. These things look hungry and he wants them to go away. KG gives him a nod of understanding, but mistakes the cat’s intention to be that of friendliness. “Hmm, maybe they can be reasoned with?”

“Hello! Would you like to be friends?” He asks the group, who seem to eyeball him suspiciously. Robots don’t smell like food though, so after a brief moment he’s ignored again. “I give great hugs!” He opens his arms and approaches one sniffing the ground.

He snatches one up and gives it an inescapable embrace, causing it to panic in confusion because what it thought was a rock, now has it grabbed like an octopus. “Don’t struggle! It’s not a real hug unless it lasts ten seconds!” Below deck, Beta asks who the hell taught him such awkward social etiquette, but fingers fire randomly as blame gets passed around.

As the other lizards start to become aggressive, KG tells them to wait their turn. He has enough hugs for everyone, “This was such a good plan! I’m making so many friends!” Fluffybeard, on the other hand, tries to divert their attention by pressing his num nums button, causing kibble to pour out onto the floor, “You like num nums just as much as hugs huh? You’re just like Fluffy!”

“Would you like to meet him?” He asks much to the terror of his pet, “Come on out Fluffy. You’ve got new friends!” The cat slinks into the back reaches of his compartment, “Mew!” He tries to express his feelings of unfriendliness when a lizard pounces on KG and tries to snap at his tiny charge, snarling and ripping at the robot at the same time.

“Hey! Don’t you bite Fluffy!” A red flashing light emerges from his head accompanied with a blaring siren. KG’s eyes turn deep crimson and he closes the compartment. These creatures must be taught a lesson. Suddenly a freezing fog vents from his chest and he grabs the hilt of his sword, “Booming Frostblade!”

With a single swipe of his sword the three hundred sixty degree arc cuts into each lizard and sends them tumbling backwards, half encased in ice and rooted to the spot. “I thought we were friends!” He says as he sheathes his sword once more. He even wipes an invisible tear from his face plate.

With their aggression now in full tilt, acid begins to drip from their mouths and each droplet sizzles when it touches the floorboards. Knowing they’re most likely prepping to spit acid, he springs into a mighty leap backwards, “Lightning hook!” He calls out in the air, snatching one up with powerful static electricity and using its body to block the incoming barrage. Unfortunately, the lizard’s scales prevented any harm from its brethren’s attacks, so he releases it from his grip and punts it away before spinning back behind some crates.

He thought he was relatively safe on the upper aft deck, but a rain of acidic spittle showers the area and one catches him on the shoulder, burning through an armor plate within seconds. Soon after, one breaks free and rushes up the stairs. It jumps on top of a crate to see KG taking cover, but as its jaws come down on the robot, it is seized by the neck and hoisted off its feet. Soon after he hurls it like a flying bowling ball into its still immobilized allies.

When another climbs the staircase, its struck by KG’s Noro Noro beam. The beast’s movements start to slow to a crawl as he calls out, “Hey guys! We just passed through the last of the Ocean Swamp. Air looks to be clear now!” He fends off a flank attack with his thunderous blade, then rushes when the previously beamed one started to gather up an acidic mouthful. He swats the poisonous ball out of the air as it crawls towards him, following through the attack with a surging uppercut to its jaws.

Magnus is the first to emerge from below, deploying several weapons that begin to float in the air. He charges into the fray, slicing one down with a sweeping cut of his scalpel. When another jumps at him from behind, a fin funnel zaps it causing it to collapse from a lack of strength and tumble to the floor. It doesn’t take long for it to get back up and dash straight for him, but its teeth find only air when Magnus springs back on his oversize surgical instrument to a defensive position atop it.

Kydd’s second to show up, throwing a dagger from the shadows into the neck of one of the creatures. It snarls, barely phased by the attack, but when it steps forward the potent toxin he coated the blade with seizes its muscles tight and ends it. The chef finally makes his presence fully known when he leaps out of the darkness and forms a metallic garrote around a wounded lizard’s neck. This one doesn’t even get the chance to struggle before he pulls the wires tight.

The horde of creatures keep coming though, prompting KG take higher ground. He bounds from the roof of the captain’s chambers and sinks his metallic fingers into the mast. When one of the creatures he was fighting attempts to do the same, he snatches it out of the air, “Lightning Hook!” and throws it against the floorboards below.

Meanwhile, Sakura becomes cornered by several creatures below deck. They encircle her and size up their next meal. Just as she comes to believe her journey to sea was an unfortunate and short one, the creatures fall back and scramble away. Davy then hands her an eleven foot pole with a sock on the end of it. “This should keep you safe.” He says with a rather nasal tone thanks to the clothespin on his nose, “I’m going to find Beta.”

Back topside, the crew cleans up most of the smaller lizards when the larger ones began to mobilize. They were at least three times the smaller ones and ten times as mean in a fight. The first one charged Magnus, but met with a spinning scalpel and fin funnel that blasts it back out of biting range with a burst of air.

As they become swamped, KG asks where Bubba was during this encounter. Nobody else knew, but Bubba was hiding below deck, making sure his junk was secure before sneaking through the second level. The monsters didn’t seem to track him, in fact, they probably avoided him since they weren’t carrion eaters.

Beta had been running and gunning from the creatures ever since they infiltrated the bottom decks, but finally ran out of space to retreat. “Jeez you’re all such persistent bastards.” Then she sniffs the air, “Huh?” Davy bursts from the kitchen, a bag of juicy leftovers in hand, and curiously in his normal human form. “Beta get down!” He shouts, tossing the bag into the middle of the room and jumping over her small barricade. As he brings her head down, “Super, Nova!” Suddenly the bag explodes with an intense white light that pulls the lizards into nothingness with its aftermath. “Now lets get topside, Sakura should have driven the rest of the lizards out of these hallways. As you can see, I tend to lose my powers if I use them inside.”

Returning to the fighting above deck is a scene where Kydd grabs a lizard with metallic strings and crushes it. He roars in triumph, but finds one of the largest foes closing its acidic maw on his arm. KG extends his arm and charges his Lightning Hook. He had been pulling monsters from below and sending them back down with a solid haymaker. This time however, he aimed a little too close and electricity finds the metal metal fruit user to be a much easier target. As Kydd shakes the smoke from his head, the robot asks, “Hi Kydd! What are you doing up here? Ah! Magnus watch out!”

The robot’s eyes flash for a moment, “Teleport lock successful.” When the bigger creature diverts its attention to Magnus, it finds itself suspended in the air thirty feet above. Then a heavy robot tackles it, a sonic charge ready in his sword, “Booming Blade!” As they crash together, he stabs it in the chest with his sword and the resulting landing explodes like thunder when the sonic field surrounding them cracks open.

Seeing the final batch of monsters driven from below by a sock on a stick, Magnus bursts open his lab coat and his muscles get ripped. “Overdrive!” He then holds his hands up to the sky and transfers strength to the fin funnels, making it rain explosive fireballs on the area, “Meteor Shower!” Putting every ounce of strength into this nova attack, his bag turns leopard print, “Demon spore: Leopard Zoan!” and he charges a bigger reptile with a flurry of scalpel swings, finishing the attack with a fin funnel blast that knocks it flat on the ground.

When it starts to recover, Kydd narrows his vision and focuses on finishing it off. Never one to stand outside the fire, Kydd runs down the mast into the inferno and emerges from the other side, his entire body burning red hot. A trail of fire is left behind as he dashes past the larger foe in an instant. When his hand returns from bladed form it erupts into flames and burns away into ashes. KG just remarks, “Damn son!”

As the final wave closes in on their target Kydd finds himself surrounded, but when one of the behemoths attempts to cleave him to pieces, its claws find only wood. Before it could figure out what happened, Kydd’s already riding its back and clinging to dear life with metal wires wrapped around its neck.

A smaller one jumps at rider, attempting to dismount him. The robot wasn’t going to have any of that however, drop kicking it as he comes swinging in on the ship’s rigging. When the rest pounce onto him, their teeth and acidic bites are turned away by diamond plates. Then they go soaring off by a strong air blast from Magnus’s arm cannons.

As Kydd continues his stranglehold on one of the biggest lizards, he misdirects its aggression and makes it fight alongside the others. Together, all four clear out the rest of the smaller ones, leaving only the two giants left to deal with. The behemoth just seems to shrug off their attacks though, and it pins Magnus down with a heavy claw. However, as it jaws come down to deal a finishing blow, “Ker-shink!” The ballista is fired.

It was the most effective piece of ammunition Bubba could find: Sakura’s 11 foot stick with a dirty laundry arrowhead. The shot was clean (okay, maybe not clean in that sense) and true, finding a path directly into the creature’s mouth. Then the creature turns a sickly shade of purple, green, and pink polka dots. Finally, it squirms away to try and find the ocean’s waters of safety. It wasn’t hungry anymore, not in the slightest.

When the creature makes it to the edge though, an x shaped scar of energy crosses its neck, “Heaven’s, Blades!” Davy appears on its back, his form coming into view like a reverse mirage, and his twin swords of starlight and electricity in hand. The creature’s head rolls overboard and the captain turns to calls out, “Why are you still playing with that thing Kydd?”

“This drake is now my pet!” The first mate replies, riding its back like a cowboy. Bubba is the first to point out, “No pets remember? Captain’s orders.” In a rage it charges Magnus, who seems ready for an attack this time. His eye makes direct gaze with the creature and he forces it to sit and stay silent for now.

Davy cautions, “It’ll probably eat as much as you Kydd. I’d estimate even all these dead sea spawn things would be devoured by the time we reach the next island.”

Kydd proposes a solution, “We could let it swim and catch its own food.”

However, Davy shakes his head in disagreement. “We can’t do that for the calm belt. Those real sea kings have to overlook us and having it swim around would only act as bait that would get our whole ship swallowed. That also means no fishing…” The captain sighs in depression as his favorite past-time gets forbidden. “You can keep it if you like, but it’ll take some time to fully train. And… it’ll get bigger… much bigger. However, I’m sure it could have uses.”

“I’m not cleaning up after it.” Bubba remarks, “It’s not the nature of the job, its the size of the workload that bothers me.”

The young silver haired man looks confidently at his captain, “I’ll take charge of it.”

With teary eyes, Sakura narrates, “The young man wishes to care for his new found partner, taming it with love and friendship. There was no heart his kindness couldn’t reach!”

Bubba just shakes his head, “Don’t encourage him.”

Beta doesn’t like the big lizard, but whatever these guys set their minds to, can be done in time. “We’re gonna need a bigger fridge. At least it’s still just a child. I’m sure it can be tamed eventually. It’s the older ones that are untrainable.”

Magnus adds, “We’ll also need a bigger poop cleaner. Hmmm, I wonder if can outfit it with these other guys spit glands. How’s about letting me experiment a little on it?”

Bubba looks at Sakura, “Hey here’s an idea! Let the journalist clean up its poop she needs a job on the ship anyways.” Davy Jones notes that would be an excellent idea, but Kydd has already claimed full responsibility for the thing.

Then the first mate volunteers for more duties, “I’ll take charge of training Mrs. Mason as well, on how to adjust to life with pirates.” She blushes a little and politely requests that everyone just call her Sakura.

Beta’s keen eyes peer off into the distance, “Better put it below deck soon. I spy ships on the horizon. Don’t think they’ve noticed us yet.”

Episode 12: Socks to be You

Episode 12: Socks to be You

The voyage to Star Island begins with the Jellyfish crew sailing smoothly on peaceful waters. Everyone minds their own business trying to occupy their free time during these calm periods. Kydd fishes off the side of the boat, hoping to catch a rare specimen for tonight’s dinner. Davy ponders over sea charts in an effort to keep their voyage on a straight path towards their destination. KG, despite the fact he’s a robot, does push-ups. Fluffybeard just watches his mechanized servant smugly. After all, he was born awesome, why train? Magnus seems to be busy experimenting with a small petri dish in the medical bay. And Bubba happily sings while scouring the ship for stray fish bones to add to his collection.

Below deck though, in the junk area, a crate begins to stir. The sound of a girl’s voice whispers to itself, “Jeez it stinks in here.” Then, she hears Bubba’s footsteps and merry song, “I’ve got Cabin Feevaa! I’ve got Cabin Feevaa!” She gasps a little and goes silent.

“Hmm? What was that?” Bubba asks himself. He’s always on patrol for possible pests out to eat or nest in his trash horde, so he starts to rummage. However, it’s quite an endeavor to find anything within that mess. “Has someone been going through my stuff again?” He growls to himself. All his searching is for naught as he fails to find an intruder.

The girl inside the crate pinches her nose, thinking to herself, “Ughhh. He stinks so much! Go away!” Crrrooooak The sudden pants explosion nearly causes the girl to give away her position. Bubba fans it a little bit, “There a frog in here?” Then checks his pants, “Hahaha, almost thought I soiled myself with that one!”

The girl inside the crate starts to turn a little green and silently prays for the foul monster to get tired and go away. Her prayer ends with a very very long please. Suddenly, Kydd yells, “Hey Bubba! Come throw up on my hook! I need some bait!”

“Sure!” The Handyman replies. The stowaway thanks her guardian angel, but a little too soon. “One minute though,” He adds, sitting down on top of the box she’s hiding in. “I’m feeling a bit tired! Need to rest my feet for a second!”

“I curse you Heaven!” She regrets her half heeded prayer, even more so when Bubba takes off his shoes and begins massaging his aching feet.

“I really need some new socks and boots.” He says while the hidden girl begins to turn from green to purple, nodding a silent “yes” at his comment. “I think I have a spare pair somewhere. I better save these though for Magnus. He might want to experiment with them.” He pulls off his socks and looks around, “Now where can I put these so I don’t lose them?” They hang in the air, exuding a purple miasma and squirming ever so slightly.

“Not here. Anywhere but here!!!” Fear gripped her heart as tightly as a giant’s fist and the moment of decision seemed to make time stand still, like a life changing moment or a bandit’s trigger finger holding you hostage.

“Shouldn’t be anything in this crate.” He stands up, prying open the crate halfway.

“Today Bubba!!!” Kydd yells, “Dinner won’t just jump on board!”

The plumber turns and yells, “Be right there! Changing my socks!” Without looking into the dark crate he casually tosses his socks inside, hitting her directly on the head with a sickly splat. In a panic, she screams at the top of her lungs and runs topside for some fresh air, throwing the newly acquired socks off as quickly as possible.

Kydd just stares a brief moment, hands still holding his fishing pole casually, “… You aren’t Bubba…”

The girl doesn’t say much, only a short plea for air. She then collapses, having turned purple with green polka dots. Bubba arrives topside only a few seconds after she passed out, “Has anyone seen my slave? She ran this way.”

Kydd fishhooks an eyebrow, “For once, this isn’t because of me.” The rest of the crew stops whatever they were doing to check out this unexpected development. Magnus curiously approaches and looms over her, fascinated by the interesting color she has turned. Beta hurriedly calls out, “Medic!” Then looks at their ship doctor, a sweat drop running down his cheek, “Or um… someone trustworthy!”

Bubba offers his “expert” opinion, “I think she’s sea sick.” KG corrects him, “I think she’s you sick.”

Magnus urges everyone back, “Hmm, looks serious! I must prep for surgery!” He opens his lab jacket and a variety of scalpels, needles, and torture instruments fall out. Bubba pleas sincerely, “Please Doctor! Save her!” Everyone looks at him curiously, “She costs too much to replace!”

“She needs some soup! That helps cure anything!” Kydd comments, rushing off to his kitchen.

KG steps forward with his own emergency procedure, “I will shake her! Shaking always helps!” He picks her up by the face and waves her around like a rag doll. “No no,” Magnus replies, “It’s a skin disease. It has to be cut out.” Bubba applies some lip balm, “Maybe I should try CPR?”

She comes to from the shaking, but now sea sick from the violent motion, “I see a flower garden… it’s so beautiful.”

The doctor places a hand to his chin in thought, “Delusions. This is more serious than I thought, must be brain damage.”

A simple soup wasn’t much to ask and Kydd returns promptly. As the ship’s chef and first mate tries to feed her a spoonful of soup, she whispers a single word, “… Feet…” Bubba believes she has a foot fetish, but suddenly the rest of the crew, excluding KG, notices that their odorous comrade is quite barefoot. “Oh!” Bubba exclaims as a sudden Eureka moment, “My feet can save her! Here! Take a big whiff!”

When KG wonders aloud what this is all about, Magnus offers to give the robot a nose sensor so that he can join the rest in such “joys”. “Joy? Is it that pleasant!? I want to smell it too! Huh? Fluffy? What are you doing up there?” He looks up to the mast where his cat desperately clings for life, refusing to come down.

With her life passing before her eyes, she says cryptically, “May… the sea foam gather my broken heart and deliver me to a finer place.” Suddenly, Kydd erupts into fire as passion overwhelms him, “Yes! That’s from Love Blossoms in the Winter! The tragic death scene of Aquamarine’s final words as she died in her lover’s arms!”

Kydd’s words stir a second wind from her, “Someone’s… read my book?”

The rest of the crew seems to have become distracted, both fascinated and grossed out by Bubba’s third big green toe. Beta demands he that refrain from poking it so much, while Magnus wonders what kind of poison it could produce. Bubba asks Magnus why it’s green though, to which he gets a simple explanation of “Perfectly natural… for you.”

Kydd excitedly asks, “You’re Sakura G. Mason aren’t you!?” Bubba greedily claims possession of her though, interrupting them, “She was in my crate. So she’s mine. I’d be willing to trade her if you give me back my silverware and plates though Kydd.”

“Sorry I had to sneak aboard,” Sakura explains further, “I.. kind of wanted to see if I could possibly… join the crew.”

With impeccable timing, Davy Jones walks up, “Oh? Why do you want to join us?”

Magnus warns that she might not have the fortitude for sea sailing, but Kydd pleas the case of possibly getting a sneak peek at her next book, “Love Blooms at Midnight”. Bubba just calls her a new pet.

At first, she sees Davy’s shadow and thinks, “A Jellyfish?” Then she looks up and sees something human instead. He’s got to be the real deal she assures herself. “Actually, I’m… kind of stuck on my newest book Kydd.” She apologizes, “I’ve run into a sort of writer’s block and well… my last book didn’t do so well. I was hoping to travel with legend everyone’s calling Davy Jones and gain some inspiration.”

“Wait!” Magnus calls for a stop, “Kydd, are those the books where all the guys on the cover are modeled after me? I had to afford medical school somehow.” Kydd thinks for a moment, “Hmm, I don’t recall any bag headed skinny guys on the covers.”

Sakura tries to reign in the insanity, further making her case, “Also, this place could use a woman around don’t you think Captain?”

“Ahem! I’m a girl too!” Beta comments.

“Don’t worry Captain! I’m sure I can tame this new pet of mine!” Bubba claims, but turns to see only a log where she once stood. “Hey! Don’t make me put you back in the box!” Suddenly, Kydd walks out of the Captain’s chambers, holding Sakura in his arms. She looks completely bewildered, “How… did you?”

“Hey! Get back here with my pet! She was in my crate, so she belongs to me!” Bubba objects.

Kydd staunchly holds his ground, “I will not allow Sakura G. Mason to become someone’s pet!”

Davy shakes his head and explains, “No pets or slaves on my ship. Everyone’s got to serve a purpose. Even Red here has been busy drawing maps for me.” He motions to the mosquito bat on his shoulder with a black stained proboscis. “This is also a ship of freedom, I won’t take that from anyone. You’re free to stay Ms. Mason, but if you find our company too… strange, you’re also free to go on our way. However, I suggest you pay for your passage with Bubba, or he might never drop this.”

“I don’t have much money though. Want my makeup kit? It’s got a mirror in it?” She holds out a small compact.

“I don’t use makeup.” Bubba says in a manlier than usual tone. Kydd says under his breath that it couldn’t hurt. She thinks some more and notices his bare feet, “How about my socks then?”

“How soft are they?” He eyes them curiously, toes twitching in anticipation.

She proudly claims that they are made of the finest cotton. The handyman strokes his beard a little, then agrees to the trade as long as she throws in whatever is in her pockets.

“Umm… okay.” She says digging through her pockets, “Never thought I’d bargain my socks and spare change in exchange for my life.”

He beams happily as he takes her socks, coins, and a shiny button. “Your junk is my treasure!” The smelly Handyman immediately slips the pink cotton on, “Ahhh! So nice! Soft as a fat squirrel’s ass!” However, the moment quickly passes when Fluffy calls out from the crow’s next. Everyone looks out to where the cat is looking, spotting purple clouds that bubble up from the ocean.

Davy narrows his eyes and explains the phenomenon, “The Ocean Swamp. Underground poisonous vapors gather beneath the ocean floor and then erupt in violent clouds. We must be getting closer to the Calm Belt.”

Episode 11: Premature Detonation

“And what do I get out of it?” Bubba inquires, eyeing the box greedily. Nobody is sure if he wants the chest or what’s inside of it more.

“Your life.” The large woman threatens with her rifle. She clenches her teeth, showing signs of an unwillingness to proceed with the plan of action, but the monstrous insects to the left and right give her the courage she needs to stand up against Pirates. The entire island knew that the Jellyfish crew was incredibly strong, capable of besting even a Marine Battleship, the town’s Gangsters, and Ironjaw himself, all within a single battle. However, the restaurant had closed not because of late hours, but because the captain had personally finished off all the booze they had in stock and storage. This was her only chance.

“Mrphgphrmgph!” The locked container protests angrily, bouncing around and nearly tilting over in its rage.

“Why is the chest bouncing?” Kydd asks while kneeling in front of it.

“There’s a person inside,” Bubba explains, “and this rude gorilla wants me to open it.”

“It must be uncomfortable in there…” The two go on to ask the captain who’s inside. KG would ask a few robot questions himself, but seems to be busy holding Davy Jones upright. With a puzzled look on his wrapped face, he comments, “I’ve sent many a man to the ocean depths inside such lockers.”

Magnus looks a bit confused, “Those incidents were almost a thousand years ago. Anybody within the past week perhaps Davy? Either way, I could set it on fire! That would easily destroy the chest.”

“Wait… Davy? Davy Jones?” The look of disbelief holds her eyes open wide, “No way.” She shakes her head to regain some composure, “Listen, my brother here just thought it’d be a good idea to pose as some big shot bounty hunter and make a quick buck on Bubba’s capture. There’s no way we can afford a one million be-” Suddenly, a click interrupts her.

“Owowow! My eye! I was looking through that!” The bounty hunter exclaims, bursting out of his imprisonment. Kydd’s finger changes from lock picks back to its original shape. Bubba protests the act of kindness, especially since he had just learned the bounty hunter was originally after him, but the silver haired young man explains that fighting a man in a box wasn’t very exciting.

The hunter’s mask is undoubtedly the same as the ambushed Beetlemon’s. The drunken man’s rags are identical to the ones worn by the water demon who did the ambush. A dark seething anger builds up within Beetlemon’s eyes. Rage for the previous attack engulfs the recently freed man, causing him to snatch away his big sister’s rifle and aim it directly at Davy’s head.

Even though the captain is very smashed, it doesn’t affect the aura of protection his daylight form provides. He remarks coldly, “Don’t even try it.” Words however, are not enough to dissuade the bounty hunter and the rifle’s trigger is pulled. The hammer falls on the flintlock weapon, but explodes in an eruption of fire and knocks the would be assassin on his buttocks.

Everyone winces in pain. “That had to hurt,” Bubba says, “Now lets put him back in the chest.” Kydd looks down disapprovingly, “I let you out and this is how you act?” Even the big woman face palms, “Geez, you’re so hopeless. Give it up Bro. You’re not getting this one.”

“I’M… A… GIRL!!!” Beetlemon removes the smoking mask and long raven black hair falls down over her youthful eyes. “How can you keep forgetting that Alice?!?”

“Oh yea.” Flashbacks come rushing into her head of their childhood together.
A baby wrapped in blankets is shown to a young girl in pigtails, “I have a baby brother?”
“Hahaha! No. It’s a baby sister.”
An upset young tomboy enters the house in tears. “Boys shouldn’t cry like that.”
“I’m not a boy!”
A teenage girl comes in with mud on her face. “Geez, boys are so dirty.”
“I’M A GIRL!!!”

Davy’s eyes bug out and the beer he was drink comes gushing out like a high pressure hose. He is rarely surprised with all the things the stars whisper to him, but this, he never saw coming. Worse yet, he turns even redder when her beer soaked shirt confirms her gender, twice.

Kydd’s quick wit is first to comment, “Must be cold out.”

Quite embarrassed, she covers herself up with both arms and commands everyone stop staring at her. Davy obliges and tosses his jacket before turning his head away. “I really don’t think you’re cut out for this Bounty Hunter business.” He considers for a moment though, as to how she found her way out of what most would consider, certain doom. He’s never sent a woman to the depths before and it would take a miracle to fish out a chest from the depths.

Alice nods in agreement, “Come back to the farm. You’re going to get killed doing this. The boys here, miss you too.” The monstrous beetles look at her and hiss, apparently they’re girls as well.

“Or!” Davy says, coming to a new decision, “You can come with us!” He stands as upright as he can, before swaying to the left and right. KG assists by holding him steady. The stars guided this one back to him, probably to undo the crime of harming a lady. “Pirating is a great vocation. You’ll get to see the world, receive excellent training in nautical skills, and get one share of the treasure we acquire.”

She finishes buttoning her new coat up, “I really don’t like working on a Fertilizer Farm, no offense girls… but become a Pirate?!?” She objects.

“We’re more like Professionals. The world is vast and the ocean has many stories to tell.” He smiles and points a finger towards a nearby shop. KG corrects this by helping the captain aim his digit at her instead, “Also, I’m willing to bet, you wanted that money so you could leave this island. That’s why you took up that mask and posed as one of Tony’s gangsters. Once you got enough money, you wanted to leave and have an adventure.” The captain poses dramatically throughout his speech with robotic assistance.

She stumbles for words. However, there wasn’t any because he was right. Alice’s burly hand touches her shoulder, “They’re the most capable group of Pirates I’ve ever seen. Got rid of those bandits, fought for the rights of the ants, and even made Ironjaw clean up his act. They can’t be all bad, but you should know she’s got no boating skills whatsoever.”

“We could use a Swabby then. I don’t run a goodwill charity.” Davy says, arms folded with help.

“Hey, I’ll carry my weight and I can learn!” The smaller female objects, “Besides that, I’m pretty handy with a rifle… when it’s not blowing up in my face. Never had that happen before…”

“Premature detonation is a common problem.” Bubba elaborates.
“Especially in Roach men.” Kydd interjects.

She begins to giggle, apparently a fan of dirty jokes, “But, I’m not touching your toilets!”

“Don’t touch my tub!” Bubba protests. Magnus notes that no living creature can handle that job.

“Well…” She looks confidently at Davy, “I suppose it’s the chance of a lifetime.”

“So, what’s your name girl?” Kydd asks.

“My real name’s Beatriss McDouglas, but everyone just calls me Beta.”

“I’m Doctor, Doctor Magnus. However, you can call me Awesome if you so prefer.”

“Nice to meet you, but you look strangely familiar.” Beta vaguely remembers something on a milk carton, but Bubba elucidates the likeness, “They give those paper bags out at all the grocery stores.” “Oh.”

In an effort to make amends, the insect zoan picks up the scattered pieces of her gun and whips out some tools. His arms blur and soon enough, it’s as good as new. It even has a homemade scope on the barrel now. Alice is amazed and retells of how Beta tried to fix their shed’s door once and the entire building collapsed.

“Hahaha! Then let’s celebrate our newest crewmate!” Davy shouts excitedly, “We should have a feast, and booze! We can even sing Bink’s Sake! Heeeey! You know what would really hit the spot right now?” He stands up without assistance, wobbles a bit, then looks at his crew with a smirk on his face, “Crayfish…”

“Yeah!” The Jellyfish crew yells in unison.

While Alice and Beta look a bit puzzled, they smile nevertheless. “Lets go home Bro. You better start packing now. Also, you can’t forget about saying goodbyes to the rest of the farm.”

“I’M… A… GIRL!”

Episode 10: Wanted... or Not?

The days following Ironjaw’s defeat were filled with much joy and celebration. The ants felt a great sadness at the loss of their best soldiers and finest worker, but when news of the incoming unionization arrived, they cherished it more than any craftsman guild ever would have.

Bubba had also constructed the finest of shrines within their great hall using the very hammer they gave him. Each warrior had a statue chiseled from solid stone, each holding a sword into the air victoriously, and each embedded with its name on a plaque hung onto the base. However, at the center of the room was the most magnificent and detailed figure, that of Three. He wasn’t the biggest or fiercest looking, but his segmented eyes held a fierce determination and dream. His arms held a sword, a hammer, a tool belt (the very one that was given to Bubba), and a key. They represented his willingness to fight, his unwavering work ethic, his extension of friendship, and his sacrifice to give them freedom from what was basically, slavery.

Three days past the confrontation, the docks are once again full of life and construction as the resurrection of the Steel Lion reaches its halfway point. KG works tirelessly on the ocean floor, helping to pull salvage from the depths. Bubba is doing what he does best, repairing everything and making sure the toilets and piping were perfect. Magnus oversees the redesign and inspection of the steam engines. Kydd happily provides lunches and refreshments for the entire operation, as well as Fluffybeard’s endless appetite. While Davy prepares a course and navigational charts needed to reach their next island.

As the sun begins to settle, everyone gathers inside the Furry Lobster to enjoy drinks and relax. After a few rounds of toasting, a worker ant hastily bursts into the restaurant. “Big news! You guys are famous!” It shouts, a small stack of papers in his insect arms.

Bubba says, “Cool. Now I’ll be able to pick up chicks!”

KG asks a robot question, “Chickens? Why are you incapable of lifting them?”

The dirty handyman replies, “Aahahaha! Well, no animal is safe. I’ll say that much. You should see my squirrel underwear.” As a furry tail pops from his unfastened and lowering pants, the first poster is revealed, much to the appreciation of everyone in the room.

“WANTED: Bubba “Duece Machina”, Dead or Alive. 30,000,000 for the crimes of piracy, conspiring against the government, and trespassing on food/drink serving premises. (The poster shows two images: one of Bubba’s dirty and normal face, the other of a fancy dressed Cockroach)

“I might just turn myself in for that kind of cash!” The plumber considers, hand on his chin.

“Thirty million? Someone get me a Den Den Mushi!” KG announces, arms outspread and ready to bear hug. However, as the smell of rotting sewage and sweat keeps everyone else away, he reconsiders the solo venture. There’s a reason for the trespassing charge it seems.

“Well, how much are the rest of you worth?” Bubba asks.

WANTED: Fluffybeard, “Scourge of the Four Blues”, Fish Loving Pet and his Mechanized Armor Suit 5,000,000 Beli for the Armor, 40 for the Cat. (The poster shows an image of KG being piloted by a super-imposed picture of Fluffy)

The cat beams happily, since he was the one who submitted the picture and title for approval. KG shows the poster proudly to the cat, “Look Fluffy! You’re famous too! But… what is that you’re driving?”

“A ghost armor?” Bubba and Magnus respond in unison.

“GHOST!?” KG panics, going into high alert, “Where!? Did it follow us all the way here!? Run Fluffy!” He dives behind the bar as the next wanted poster is revealed.
WANTED: Edward Kydd, Dead or Alive. 15,000,000 Beli for the crimes of attempted murder by poisoning, using FDA disapproved ingredients, and an attempted assassination of a Marine Captain. (The poster is an image of him captured and chewing on the chains)_

Bubba comments first, “So that’s how he keeps his iron problem in check.”

Magnus is next, “Luckily, I’m a doctor and not a dentist.”

Kydd, however, yells at the poster, “That wasn’t poison! It was a spicy meatball you son of a bitch!”

Davy interjects, “I believe it was referring to the mushroom plague you unleashed on Ironjaw’s crew… not last night’s dinner.” He places a fist to his mouth and tries to cover a burp that erupts into flames.

“Oh, I guess that makes more sense.” the Iron Chef agrees as the final wanted poster is laid down on the table.

WANTED: “Davy Jones”, FINE of 1,000,000 for anyone attempting to capture. Wanted for the crime of Government Insurgency, Murder, Theft, and Arson. (Picture of the silhouette resembling a Jellyfish)

The worker ant seems puzzled though, “Why would they fine someone for completing completing a bounty on a wanted poster?”

Davy shrugs, “Perhaps there would be too many people calling in false reports over a myth?” However, he knew the actual reason: they didn’t want anyone within the Marines or powerful bounty hunters associating with him. He did have a way with words and only those obstinate fools who believed in Absolute Justice full-heartedly would undertake the task.

Magnus looks at the poster and asks the question, “And mine?”

The ant explains that he didn’t have a wanted poster for the eccentric doctor, but had found something else. He shows everyone a carton of milk.
“HAVE YOU SEEN ME?" Doctor, Magnus Picard. 1,000,000 Beli Reward for his safe return. (The picture bears a striking similarity to Jean Luc Picard of Star Trek fame)_

Every crew member except Magnus bursts out into laughter. The lanky and impossibly tall scientist takes a closer look, while placing a hand up to his chin, “Hmm, not even a close resemblance. I’m much more attractive.”

Bubba exclaims, “So that’s what you look like under that paper bag!”
KG quickly follows up, “Fluffy can ride on your head if you want some hair.”
Kydd offers help as well, “I know some recipes that might help you grow some hair.”
Davy just quietly chuckles to himself behind a mug of beer.

“I shave my head regularly thank you very much! Don’t make me shave you with my scalpel!” Magnus threatens.

Robot inquiry, “But why bother if you are just going to wear a paper bag all the time?”

Kydd jumps to the conclusion, “The skin to bag contact must provide better grip.”

“Might also cause static electricity build up.” Bubba interjects.

“Nooo,” Magnus explains, “do you know how much sweaty hair and paper bags itch?”

Just then, the Buggy Pirate Brothers enter the room, lead by a third, much taller, meaner looking fellow. He’s clad in a frayed, gray coat and wears a leather tricorn on his long face. Certainly not pretty by any stretch of the word, but he carries a stern air of leadership about himself.

“I’m lookin’ for da guy dat sprung me out of da brig of dat Marine ship.” He bellows over the crowd. His tone and accent is uncouth, but confident.

Bubba playfully shoves Fluffybeard forward. “Meow!” the small cat boasts, proclaiming that HE was the genius behind everything. That is, if anyone could actually understand him.

“My crew informs me, you were da one dat kicked Ironjaw’s ass. I remember ya bein’… taller though.” He scratches his head, trying to figure out the situation.
“Mew!” (I puff myself up in times of danger to look big.) Fluffy explains, but his information falls upon deaf ears.

“I, ugh, also remember ya speakin’ human.”

Red interrupts the conversation to make clear the muddy waters, “He’s a shape shifter Boss! He’s got many forms!”

Kydd desperately wants to correct them, but decides to hold his tongue. When the trio’s leader recognizes the fellow ex-prisoner, Davy finally stands up to speak. The mythical captain lurches forward, the alcohol and dry land causing him to wobble a little bit, “I’ll stand in for the captain, but he kicked Ironjaw’s ass with his crew’s help. Not alone.”

Although the form was different, the shadow was eerily familiar: a Jellyfish silhouette. He smiles, “Hehe, suppose you’ll do. Just wantin’ ta thank ya for da rescue. Heavens know these two couldn’t have pulled it off.”

Red objects, “We totally had everything under control Boss!”

“It was a group effort.” Davy adds, “They got the key. We handled the rest.”

“Well, just to be showin’ my thanks, I wanted ta give ya a gift.” He extends his hand and a rather tiny mosquito-bat perches on top of it, “His name’s Red. Can’t really do much in da way o’ fightin’, but he’s an excellent messenger Batskeeto.”

It inflates its chest with pride. “Or, you can cook em’ if ya like.” Red’s eyes grow big with terror. Kydd further adds to the fire, “I could probably whip up a Batskeeto Bar-be-que.”

Davy graciously accepts the small pet, propping it onto his shoulder before tipping his hat, “I’ll call you Red Zippo, little bat.”

The man wearing a tricorn also introduces himself, “My name’s Probby. Captain o’ da Buggy Pirates. Soon as we find a ship, we’ll be hittin’ da waters for da’ Grand Line.”

Kydd comments, “There’s already a famous Pirate by the name of Buggy. Sure you don’t want to take a name change to Swarm Pirates?”

Probby looks pissed and smacks the two cohorts beside him simultaneously, “Told ya all da good Pirate names are taken. Anyways… What’s yer name?”

“Davy Jones.” Not a drip of sarcasm or humor fell from his voice.

“Brahahaha!!!” The fellow captain erupts into laughter, before falling silent at the possibility, “Yer… jokin’ right?”

“No.” Davy says, holding up his wanted poster. His shadow was a dead match for the inspired drawing. “However, I’ve an old ship that I don’t plan on using anymore. Perhaps you’d be interested in sailing it? Under your own flag of course, but also under my very name.”

“That’s quite generous o’ ya! Any other terms o’ dis transaction?”

“Just one. Never bring dishonor to my name. Show mercy to civilians who ask for it. I don’t mind if you steal from them, especially if they’re nobles. People are too attached to their wealth anyways. Life is the one treasure you should respect.”

“Sounds like a rule I can live with. You can count me as an ally. You can use Red to contact us anytime you need us.”

“Then be safe and one day, when the seas are calm and the time is right, lets share a drink. Allies and friends are a good idea to keep in this day and age.”

Kydd comments, “Friends are the greatest treasure in all the seas.”

Bubba, also feeling emotional, says, “Aww, I think I’m going to cry! Nothing beats friends for fishing bai-”

A squeeking noise catches the plumbers ear. However, his mind heard it as, “You probably cry tears of urine.” He looks around, then fixes his stare on Red Zippo, “Wait. I can understand you?”

“I can also…” Red flies over to the bar, dips his proboscis into some ketchup, and begins writing on the wall for everyone to read, “I’ll try my hardest to not be eaten.”

Probby bellows out a laugh, “Brahahaha! Yep! Red dere’s a pretty smart little guy. We even sent him off ta college! Wanted a ship dentist, but little bastard changed majors ta become a lawyer! Bloodsuckers will be bloodsuckers I guess.”

Kydd raises a eyebrow in amazement, “A robot that talks to a cat. A roach that talks to a batskeeto. Am I going to start talking to trees next?” Magnus reminds him that he already does. “Hey!” Kydd objects, “One day it’ll turn out to be a wood nymph!”

A smile on their faces and eyes full of gratitude, Probby, Azure, and Crimson bid goodbye, “Farewell. And may da seas bring ya good fortune… Davy Jones.”

The Jellyfish captain tips his hat, “And the same to you Probby.” The rest of the crew raise their glasses and Kydd shouts a final farewell, “So long Swarm Pirates!”

After they leave, everyone can hear two loud thumps, “Before we set sail, we’re having a name change session! Why did all da good names have ta be taken?”

The party eventually dies out and the Jellyfish Pirates leave shortly after the last call for alcohol is made. Davy stumbles out the door last, nearly bumping into the others, “Huh? What’s happening?”

Apparently several large fearsome insects burst from the ground and surrounded them. Then a large chest bounces forward, (no, not a woman’s chest, a wooden treasure chest) “Mrphmrfm!" It mutters incomprehensibly, while a large and round female, with arms like a gorilla, walks out of the shadows to interpret, “My brother demands the key to this “Infernal Box”.”

Episode 9: Davy Unleashed

Davy snaps his fingers the ice surrounding Ironjaw explodes likes a hurricane of glass shards in a blender. KG stands up and sheathes his flickering sword, now running low on energy. As the hinges clasp back together, he finishes the violent storm when he says, “Echoing Finish.” causing his Booming Elbow’s entrapment to implode its sound barrier in a thunderous rush.

As glittering dust of frost falls down on the area, the Jellyfish pirates ready themselves for Round Two of the conflict. Even Kydd climbs out of the rubble that was once a mast and lurches forward to the front lines, looking the worst for wear. Which is saying something considering he’s standing beside a banged up and falling apart KG. Magnus spins his scalpel and readies it on his shoulder and down his arm, while his other is poised to fire. KG barely notices several plates had been re-attached and bolts refitted within that instant the doctor twirled his weapon about. “I didn’t know you could do that.”

“Of course I can. I’m a Super Genius.”

Ironjaw emerges from the cloud, the final bits of ice falling from his beard and arms. Even that attack seemed to barely phase him. Davy decides to take it up one more notch, “Heaven’s, Blades!” In his right hand, a blade of pure sparkling starlight forms. In his left hand, a blade of almost blinding electricity and lightning. They stare each other down for but a moment that feels like eternity. The tension in the air rises to a climax when a sudden noise begins the battle.

“Ker-shuck!” Bubba’s ballista, now out of bolts, fires a fallen marine through the air and Ironjaw backhands the body out of his way. The Zoan smirks, “I’ve still got one shot left…”

They collide in the center of the ship, Ironjaw moving with blinding speed as he keeps up not only with Magnus, Kydd, and KG’s weaponry, but the dual blades of Davy as well. When the Starshadow blade nearly takes his arm off, he notes that one false move against this foe could spell the end of the battle. Nevertheless, he manages to bring a flying knee into KG’s chest, sending him tumbling away.

The robot throws his blade, which cuts through the air like a boomerang. Sparks fly as it smashes against his target’s trademark iron jaw, returning to him as he finishes climbing the only standing mast left of the Marine battleship.

“Bring it!” Magnus shouts, attempting to lure Ironjaw into a trap.

He takes the bait and somersaults over Davy’s blades, landing in front of the bag-headed scientist and swinging his arm for a wide hay maker. However, Magnus falls out of the way by planting his scalpel into the ground and bending it backwards, springing back into the enemy’s face for a counter attack. “Why are you hitting yourself?”

“Huh?” Ironjaw’s fist comes straight up and into his own chin, causing him to stagger backwards, “You little brat! I thought I recognized your voice. Once I tell your father you’ve been playing pirate, you’ll be sorry!”

Bubba shouts, “You just now recognized him? I thought the paper bag would be a dead give away.”

“He didn’t always wear that.”

Magnus scoffs, “At least your usefulness didn’t change. Besides… it’s too late for me to go back to a normal life! It’s been two days since I brushed my teeth!” He repels back Ironjaw from atop his scalpel perch, by once more making him uppercut himself, “Just wait! After we knock you out, I’ll hide your keys beneath the cushions of your upholstered furniture, and NEVERMORE will you be able to find socks that match!"

KG’s boomerang sword knocks him further back as Davy rushes in. Ironjaw rips apart some of the deck and hurls it at where the robot is sniping from, missing when his target drops from the crow’s nest to some wreckage below. He throws a heavy right hook as the child-looking threat approaches, but the miniaturized captain power-slides under the cyborg’s swing, slicing two large gashes into his legs that explode from damaged machinery as he passes underneath. Davy turns and places his hand on the ground, creating a pentagram of fire on the ground, “Infernal, Flames!” erupting like a small volcano that engulfs his opponent in fire.

Bubba pulls a string attached to the trigger, finally seeing his chance. The siege weapon launches him at break neck speed towards Ironjaw. His chest orb glows with green energy as the feels empowered by an ancient handyman guiding his arm, “Mexican, Dumptruck!!!” Building, fixing, or destroying, he is the master of man-made machinery.

As the fires die out, Bubba’s fist strikes the center of his chest and bolts fly out from his body in all directions. He pulls a full 360 degree spin, bringing his hammer straight into the cyborg’s groin. As Ironjaw’s eyes pop out of head, he can only watch as the Handyman continues his work. A rush of wind passes by as Bubba hovers in the air on insect wings to meet his prey. All four of the plumber’s appendages smash the cyborg’s back, sending plates scattering everywhere. After he craters into the floorboards, Bubba finishes the attack with a heel drop directly onto Ironjaw’s skull.

The captain plants both of his hands on the ground and rises to his feet, throwing Bubba back and roaring at the sky as pieces continue to fall off. Then Davy casually strolls forward, gathering starlight and lightning into each hand, “Heaven’s Blades!” In a single motion the stunned brute loses control of his arms as they fall to ground like two anvil’s dropping. As daylight breaks and Davy changes back to his bandaged form, he looks at his crew member that had suffered the most, “Finish this Kydd.”

The silver haired first mate blinks his eyes, straightening his mind from an almost unconscious fighting state to a moment of crystal clarity. “Adonis’s…” He takes the form of a metal hero, with a wide chest, flowing long hair, and large manly chin, “Fist of Love!” The final punch sends the loosened pieces scattering everywhere and Ironjaw rolling away from the wreckage.

Wait… what?

“Grahahahaha!” Laughs a three foot tall little man, “I’m a cyborg that was piloting a suit of armor that was piloting ANOTHER suit of armor! You’ll never defeat me!”

Magnus walks over, “Eyebeam.” A short zap later, Ironjaw lay knocked out on the floor, defeated.

KG asks, “Can we keep him Captain?”

Davy raises an eyebrow and picks the tiny tyrant up by his underwear, “I think we need to relocate first.”

The gaunt doctor is the first one to yell, “Abandon ship!” as the ocean continues to take the last bits of the ship to a watery grave. He quickly jumps onto what one might consider a debris raft and paddles to the shore using his scalpel, Kydd posing in a romantic fashion at the front. On the other hand, already having a sack full of junk packed and unable to swim, Bubba sits down on his siege weapon, looking back at any funny glances, “Water scares me. Okay?” He then fires himself from the ballista to dry land. KG, in no rush, walks back to land along the bottom of the ocean, giving Fluffybeard a scenic view of the fish lurking under the waves. Finally, Davy with the much weaker child sized captain in hand, swims to the beaches and tosses Ironjaw into the center of his encircled team.

After binding him still with rope, they barrage him with questions, many about his armor, where he got it from, how he managed to maintain it, how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood, etc.

“I bought it and my augments from the Military. I built up quite a line of credit from the Pirate bounties I turned in, along with their lucrative cargo holds. And it doesn’t work for anyone but me, and now, nobody. You trashed it pretty good. As for the maintenance? I contracted the Handyman guild. I don’t know their names, never bothered to ask, but they’d usually send some blond chick with a bandanna and a large wrench.”

“Sounds like my cousin. Had a gap in her front teeth right?” Bubba remarks.

“Yea. Come to think of it, she did sound rather hillbilly.”

“That gap makes for easy access.”

“That’s your cousin Bubba.” KG interjects.

“Your point is…?” The handyman shrugs.

“Now,” Davy says, “what do you know about what the marines are planning?”

“Grahahaha! I’m not saying a word. Giving up sensitive information like that is akin to treason. And traitors go to Impel Down. No thanks.”

“And who are we going to tell? We’ve got soooo many good Marine friends.” Magnus asks.

“You can still tell us and fly free under my flag.” Davy says emphatically.

“Never. You’re all filthy rotten pirates. I’ve seen what you all do.”

“So somebody’s been spying on me in the shower.” Bubba says.

“Lies!” KG objects, “You’ve never used a shower in your life.”

“Well, I’ve always secretly dreamed in my heart, of being a Pirate.” Ironjaw lies quite obviously.

Davy knows, but the greedy heart of a Pirate does beat within him, even if he chooses to put on a Marine uniform, “Come on. There’s plenty of girls, money, girls, oh I said that already… money.”

Magnus notes, “Why don’t we just give him to the ants? Or let him take a swim, I’m sure all the mods in his body will make him swim like a fish.”

Bubba adds, “Or perhaps let me use him for spare parts?”

Sweat rolls down the captive’s brow, “This island’s already under the World Government’s rule. Get rid of me and they’ll just replace me with someone else. I’d rather not have a bounty on my head… but hmm… I’ve got an even better solution for you Davy.”

“Speak.” The pirate captain commands.

“If you let me live, that means I’ll still be the one in charge of this area. That means, they’ll be sending me a new boat in about a week. You can talk with the ants about restoring this old gal you broke apart before they get here. I’ll write it off as destroyed and you’ll have a new ship on your hands.”

Davy thinks for a moment, he did need a ship capable of sailing the Calm Belt. Magnus, as if to read his mind, says “A paddle boat equipped with a sea stone underbelly could prove very use. They’re camouflaged against the sea kings and much less likely to be attacked. It would also allow us to avoid any Marines that may be waiting for us, as well as let us escape the Grand Line when needed Captain.”

Bubba pulls out the winged ant from his over-sized sack of junk, “Think you guys can lend us a hand with repairing that wreckage we just escaped from? I think we’re in a good position to negotiate a Union contract.” After it nods yes, Bubba tries to stuff it back into his sack, but it struggles and eventually escapes him. He waves goodbye to it and shouts, “Alright, tell the Queen to expect us!”

Kydd adds, “And tell her to prepare a LOT of meat!” His stomach was growling fiercely. All that torture and fighting can really work up a man’s appetite.

Davy looks down at Ironjaw, “Agreed then. You can keep what wealth you’ve earned so far, but in return we get your old ship, restored by the Ants… and they get to form a Union.” He leans in closer and speaks softly, “Also, if you happen to capture more pirates, see about recruiting them for me instead of sending them to Impel Down.”

“Grahahaha!” Ironjaw can’t believe these outlaws let him keep even a penny, “We have a deal then. You know, for pirate scum… you’re alright in my book Davy.”


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