One Piece: Legends

Episode 11: Premature Detonation

“And what do I get out of it?” Bubba inquires, eyeing the box greedily. Nobody is sure if he wants the chest or what’s inside of it more.

“Your life.” The large woman threatens with her rifle. She clenches her teeth, showing signs of an unwillingness to proceed with the plan of action, but the monstrous insects to the left and right give her the courage she needs to stand up against Pirates. The entire island knew that the Jellyfish crew was incredibly strong, capable of besting even a Marine Battleship, the town’s Gangsters, and Ironjaw himself, all within a single battle. However, the restaurant had closed not because of late hours, but because the captain had personally finished off all the booze they had in stock and storage. This was her only chance.

“Mrphgphrmgph!” The locked container protests angrily, bouncing around and nearly tilting over in its rage.

“Why is the chest bouncing?” Kydd asks while kneeling in front of it.

“There’s a person inside,” Bubba explains, “and this rude gorilla wants me to open it.”

“It must be uncomfortable in there…” The two go on to ask the captain who’s inside. KG would ask a few robot questions himself, but seems to be busy holding Davy Jones upright. With a puzzled look on his wrapped face, he comments, “I’ve sent many a man to the ocean depths inside such lockers.”

Magnus looks a bit confused, “Those incidents were almost a thousand years ago. Anybody within the past week perhaps Davy? Either way, I could set it on fire! That would easily destroy the chest.”

“Wait… Davy? Davy Jones?” The look of disbelief holds her eyes open wide, “No way.” She shakes her head to regain some composure, “Listen, my brother here just thought it’d be a good idea to pose as some big shot bounty hunter and make a quick buck on Bubba’s capture. There’s no way we can afford a one million be-” Suddenly, a click interrupts her.

“Owowow! My eye! I was looking through that!” The bounty hunter exclaims, bursting out of his imprisonment. Kydd’s finger changes from lock picks back to its original shape. Bubba protests the act of kindness, especially since he had just learned the bounty hunter was originally after him, but the silver haired young man explains that fighting a man in a box wasn’t very exciting.

The hunter’s mask is undoubtedly the same as the ambushed Beetlemon’s. The drunken man’s rags are identical to the ones worn by the water demon who did the ambush. A dark seething anger builds up within Beetlemon’s eyes. Rage for the previous attack engulfs the recently freed man, causing him to snatch away his big sister’s rifle and aim it directly at Davy’s head.

Even though the captain is very smashed, it doesn’t affect the aura of protection his daylight form provides. He remarks coldly, “Don’t even try it.” Words however, are not enough to dissuade the bounty hunter and the rifle’s trigger is pulled. The hammer falls on the flintlock weapon, but explodes in an eruption of fire and knocks the would be assassin on his buttocks.

Everyone winces in pain. “That had to hurt,” Bubba says, “Now lets put him back in the chest.” Kydd looks down disapprovingly, “I let you out and this is how you act?” Even the big woman face palms, “Geez, you’re so hopeless. Give it up Bro. You’re not getting this one.”

“I’M… A… GIRL!!!” Beetlemon removes the smoking mask and long raven black hair falls down over her youthful eyes. “How can you keep forgetting that Alice?!?”

“Oh yea.” Flashbacks come rushing into her head of their childhood together.
A baby wrapped in blankets is shown to a young girl in pigtails, “I have a baby brother?”
“Hahaha! No. It’s a baby sister.”
An upset young tomboy enters the house in tears. “Boys shouldn’t cry like that.”
“I’m not a boy!”
A teenage girl comes in with mud on her face. “Geez, boys are so dirty.”
“I’M A GIRL!!!”

Davy’s eyes bug out and the beer he was drink comes gushing out like a high pressure hose. He is rarely surprised with all the things the stars whisper to him, but this, he never saw coming. Worse yet, he turns even redder when her beer soaked shirt confirms her gender, twice.

Kydd’s quick wit is first to comment, “Must be cold out.”

Quite embarrassed, she covers herself up with both arms and commands everyone stop staring at her. Davy obliges and tosses his jacket before turning his head away. “I really don’t think you’re cut out for this Bounty Hunter business.” He considers for a moment though, as to how she found her way out of what most would consider, certain doom. He’s never sent a woman to the depths before and it would take a miracle to fish out a chest from the depths.

Alice nods in agreement, “Come back to the farm. You’re going to get killed doing this. The boys here, miss you too.” The monstrous beetles look at her and hiss, apparently they’re girls as well.

“Or!” Davy says, coming to a new decision, “You can come with us!” He stands as upright as he can, before swaying to the left and right. KG assists by holding him steady. The stars guided this one back to him, probably to undo the crime of harming a lady. “Pirating is a great vocation. You’ll get to see the world, receive excellent training in nautical skills, and get one share of the treasure we acquire.”

She finishes buttoning her new coat up, “I really don’t like working on a Fertilizer Farm, no offense girls… but become a Pirate?!?” She objects.

“We’re more like Professionals. The world is vast and the ocean has many stories to tell.” He smiles and points a finger towards a nearby shop. KG corrects this by helping the captain aim his digit at her instead, “Also, I’m willing to bet, you wanted that money so you could leave this island. That’s why you took up that mask and posed as one of Tony’s gangsters. Once you got enough money, you wanted to leave and have an adventure.” The captain poses dramatically throughout his speech with robotic assistance.

She stumbles for words. However, there wasn’t any because he was right. Alice’s burly hand touches her shoulder, “They’re the most capable group of Pirates I’ve ever seen. Got rid of those bandits, fought for the rights of the ants, and even made Ironjaw clean up his act. They can’t be all bad, but you should know she’s got no boating skills whatsoever.”

“We could use a Swabby then. I don’t run a goodwill charity.” Davy says, arms folded with help.

“Hey, I’ll carry my weight and I can learn!” The smaller female objects, “Besides that, I’m pretty handy with a rifle… when it’s not blowing up in my face. Never had that happen before…”

“Premature detonation is a common problem.” Bubba elaborates.
“Especially in Roach men.” Kydd interjects.

She begins to giggle, apparently a fan of dirty jokes, “But, I’m not touching your toilets!”

“Don’t touch my tub!” Bubba protests. Magnus notes that no living creature can handle that job.

“Well…” She looks confidently at Davy, “I suppose it’s the chance of a lifetime.”

“So, what’s your name girl?” Kydd asks.

“My real name’s Beatriss McDouglas, but everyone just calls me Beta.”

“I’m Doctor, Doctor Magnus. However, you can call me Awesome if you so prefer.”

“Nice to meet you, but you look strangely familiar.” Beta vaguely remembers something on a milk carton, but Bubba elucidates the likeness, “They give those paper bags out at all the grocery stores.” “Oh.”

In an effort to make amends, the insect zoan picks up the scattered pieces of her gun and whips out some tools. His arms blur and soon enough, it’s as good as new. It even has a homemade scope on the barrel now. Alice is amazed and retells of how Beta tried to fix their shed’s door once and the entire building collapsed.

“Hahaha! Then let’s celebrate our newest crewmate!” Davy shouts excitedly, “We should have a feast, and booze! We can even sing Bink’s Sake! Heeeey! You know what would really hit the spot right now?” He stands up without assistance, wobbles a bit, then looks at his crew with a smirk on his face, “Crayfish…”

“Yeah!” The Jellyfish crew yells in unison.

While Alice and Beta look a bit puzzled, they smile nevertheless. “Lets go home Bro. You better start packing now. Also, you can’t forget about saying goodbyes to the rest of the farm.”

“I’M… A… GIRL!”



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