One Piece: Legends

Episode 1: Anger Issues

It’s a beautiful day on the open seas, perfect for sailing. The sky is an azure blue and speckled with clouds, the sun is bright and warm like blankets, and the seagulls buzz loudly overhead.

Wait… buzz? Actually, this flock is more like a blood thirsty swarm of mosquito-bats and unfortunately the entire crew seems a little distracted with passing a boring day at sea with their daily routines. Deep below, the cook Edward Kydd is busy preparing the next meal. Above him, the ship’s handyman, Bubba Machina, is busy taking an inventory of his trash heap. In the medical bay, Doctor Magnus is carefully mixing and testing reagents. While in the Crow’s nest, instead of being lookouts, KG and Fluffybeard play with a ball of yarn. Finally, Davy Jones, the mythical captain himself, smiles at the first sign of edible cooking in days and prepares to chow down.

The mosquito-bats land on the deck unnoticed. After sniffing around, several find their way below deck, curiously wandering towards the pile of trash. Bubba hears the buzzing as they descended downstairs, but doesn’t see them crawling on the ceiling above him.

“Damn bugs, where’s my spray?” As he turns to rummage through his can collection, they drop from the ceiling and sink their proboscis into his back and neck. However, after a quick taste, they drop to the floor twitching and green. Seeing reinforcements coming, Bubba rears his fist back and punches forward, “Break, Wind!”

A sonic boom knocks the bugs out of the air and a swift punch from his other hand flattens the biggest one. Two fatter ones flank him from each side, but a pair of clawed roach appendages sprout from his back and slice them down. “Evil bugs!”

No, he doesn’t get the hypocrisy of the statement and continues to gloat, “Don’t mess with the Bubba!”

In the medical bay, Magnus nearly causes his medicine lab to explode, distracted by all the buzzing outside. “Arrrgh! What is that noise? Don’t make me flip off the cat!”

“What the hell is going on up there?!” Kydd remarks with a mouthful of mushrooms, anger mushrooms. He turns around to see more flying into his kitchen. He grins maliciously, “I just found lunch!” However, as his right hand’s knuckles sprout a three foot long blade, he notices their target was not him, but the water supply. “I’LL KILL YOU!!!”

He rushes forward and roundhouse kicks one into the wall. His blade arcs in a wide circle to cut down several more. However, he was a little too late and those that dove into the water hatched their eggs, bringing a swarm that began to encircle him. They fall left and right, while those that were lucky enough to actually feast, found themselves laden with a stomach full of iron and unable to fly. Instead, they plummet into the water and drown.

KG looks down from his high vantage point, telling Fluffy to stay put while he handles the pest issue. He leaps out, finding a robotic joy in the falling sensation, calculating only moments later that such a fall might hurt his leg servos. Sparks fly from his knees and the mosquito-bats dart straight for him. His metal plating turns some of their mouths aside, while others manage to pierce the occasional joint, only to find a disgusting oil instead of blood.

The robot stands up straight despite the attacks and vents are opened on his chest. A cold fog seeps out of him, latches can be heard unhinging his weapon, and he begins to slowly unsheathe his sword from its scratching post scabbard. “Whirling, Frostblade!” In a quick and deadly motion he spins and freezes the surrounding pests mid air, then reunites his weapon once more. He raises it above him and a humming noise begins to stir from the sword, “Booming, Blade!” The robot shouts as he slams the scabbard onto the ground, letting loose a sonic boom that shatters the ice blocks around him. Looking up, he sees one perched on the crows nest and hears Fluffy hissing.

“Lightning,” He extends his left hand towards his target, “Hook!” then plates on his arm open and pull back to show a spool of superconductor wires, charged with electricity. Suddenly, the bat finds itself struck by the static shock and pulled towards his hand. Its sojourn ends at the very last second as he swings back and lets the bat-bug slam against the ground. “Don’t you mess with Fluffykins!”

“Mew!” (I totally had that handled, but thanks though KG!)

At that time, Magnus kicks open his medical bay door, arms outstretched and ready. Upon seeing the next wave incoming, he lets loose with twin smart rockets that lock on and strike true. Another pair is launched into the wave as they approach, but this pack is certainly the largest and most troublesome so far.

He loads up a vial from his shirt pocket into his wrist launcher. “Fine then. Alchemic, Fire!” The vial jets forward and explodes into a crimson inferno within the middle of the pack. Only a single one escapes though and it makes an dizzying beeline for the Doctor, but as soon as it gets close enough to bite him, “Eye, beam!” his eye lights up and a pinpoint ray of light sends it crashing to the floor.

Davy looks up from his dinner, the feelings of rage building up within him. “Death to all that crawl on my wall!” He says as he invokes a bolt of starlight from his palm. After it splatters against the wall, he stands up and leaves the captain’s quarters. Walking out onto the deck, he asks if that was the last of them.

“Atomic,” A green glow begins to envelop Bubba’s forearm, “Wasteland!” A green light flashes from the open trap doors leading downstairs and the handyman arrives top deck. “Is now Captain… but what’s that delicious smell?”

Magnus replies back with another question, “Ugh! Did you fart Bubba?”

“Boohahahaha! Oh I can assure you no!” remarks a small man with jagged teeth and simple red clothes.

“Um, that was in reply to the first question. There’s plenty more!” retorted an almost identical man wearing simple blue clothes instead. He opens his arms and a veritable army of bugs rises from the barge behind him. “But… I’m not sure if that guy farted or not. Seriously, wasn’t me.”

In the distraction from the earlier waves, a trash barge had pulled up alongside the Jelly Pirates’ ship and began boarding. “Now!” They say in unison, unaware of a metallic man seeping through the floor grates behind him, “Give us all your gold and treasure! The Buggy Pirates demand it!”

“Buggy?” Kydd says, his stealth dropped at the shock, “You mean that famous weakling?” His bladed arms still at the ready.

“What!?! Our… pirate name… is taken?!? How are we supposed to make a name for ourselves when there’s an even more famous pirate already with our crew name?" The red one asks.

“Are you serious?” The blue one asks.

Kydd nods assuredly, “The Buggy Pirates were actually lead by Buggy the Clown, who started on Gol D Roger’s ship. He hates Strawhat Luffy and loves banana pudding.”

KG looks down at Fluffybeard, “Banana pudding?”

“Umm, time out! Time out time out! I have to consult with my brother on this.” The red shirted man pleas.

KG again questions the the humans’ logic, “Time out? Can they really do that?” Everyone else shakes their head.

“They said time out, this isn’t kindergarten. We pirates use Parley.” Davy says before giving a nod to Magnus. “Bombs away!”

“Huh? Where are they going?” Another robot question.

A couple red tubes roll between the two brothers and one fiery alchemical explosion later, they find themselves rolling around trying to put out the flames. “Hot hot hot!”

Davy readies his battle stance, “Cook, how many ways can you roast them?” Kydd answers back without any hesitation, “17.”

“Parley! Seriously! This is important, give us a moment to talk amongst ourselves!” they say and Davy begrudgingly gives them three minutes. The idiot pair huddle together and whisper amongst themselves while the Jellyfish crew closes in. “Excuse us? We’re having a private conversation. Unless you have more information on this Buggy guy, stop trying to eavesdrop."

Kydd, always ready to give of his enormous database of magazine knowledge, adds, “Buggy the Clown. Wielder of the power of the Chop Chop Fruit. Has no funny material. Prefers boxers, not briefs. He’s famous for his participation in the Battle of Marineford.”

Turning back to their huddle they all begin to nod in unison, “Sounds like a really strong guy. Also, I like boxers and banana pudding too! I think we know what we must do now.” Some sort of commotion follows in the next minute with their parlay time ticking away. As it comes to an end, both the little men and mosquitoes turn around to show newly painted clown faces, “All hail Lord Buggy! We’re going to become his second division!”

Of course, the Jellyfish crew were already waiting to unleash their assault upon the crowded Buggy Pirates, Second Division squad. Magnus unleashes an air blast from his hand cannons, sending them flying off the side of the ship and Davy steps up knowing he can use some real power without worry of destroying the side of his vessel. Both of his hands open their palms to the sky as he gathers power, his left hand glowing with an icy blue, his right hand glowing with a fiery red.

“Infernal, Flames!” He says as his right clenches into a fist, summoning fires that swirl into the center of the pack and explode. His left hand prepares the finisher, as the energy concentrates into his thumb and finger. “Stygian, Frost!” He shouts as a left handed snap causes a explosion of ice within the center of the field. The resulting mixture releases steam and smoke in all directions.

The battle and remains of the mosquito bugs gathered the attention of a small school of sea kings that look like giant monster crayfish. One even decides to climb aboard in order to get more snacks. Unfortunately, the boiling blood, or probably just the angry mushrooms, prompt Kydd into immediate action. “Those are mine!!!”

Even Davy joins the frenzy, claiming that fried crayfish is going to make the dinner course. Unfortunately, only Magnus was thinking straight when considering the power that such a thing has in close combat. An ineffective slap of Kydd’s sword against its hide, followed by only a minor scratch from Davy’s Starshadow blade, entices Bubba to join in. He sprouts wings and flies straight at it. Using an ancient Handyman secret technique, he finds a weakness in its carapace, “Underwear, Shredder!” smashing into its face and cracking part of its exoskeleton, but also enraging it.

It retaliates with one massive slam from its claw, sending the handyman to the bottom deck stunned and bloodied. A flurry of quick jabs sends the others flying across the deck, severely hurt. Magnus however, takes a different route and air blasts the bug snacks from the deck and into the ocean, trying to convince it that the crew would taste horrible and that it should hurry back down into the water before the other crayfish eat everything else. It stares eye to eye with him for a moment, finally deciding to jump back into the water.

Meanwhile on the trash barge, the brothers climb on board, thanking their lucky stars that they survived the crayfish infested waters and previous elemental assault. They shake their fists at their opponents, vowing revenge, only to be greeted by a cannonball that pokes a hole in their hull. In a panic they speed off and “sink” into the horizon, paddling as fast as they can.

Bubba holds his ribs and releases the sails for maximum speed. Magnus on the other hand, has to hold Davy and Kydd down with strong medicine, while KG steers the ship away at full speed. “Mew!” (They did look tasty!) “Maybe next time Fluffy.”

As they approach the island, Kydd and Davy regain their senses, feeling a calm rush over them. T urning around in his chair and holding the analysis of the two’s previous meal, Magnus informs them, "The effects of the anger mushrooms are only temporary, fading as soon as you just sit down and relax for a bit.”

Davy gives a glare to Kydd, “Maybe the effects haven’t fully worn off for me yet, Doc.”

“That’s odd. I’ll check the data once more.”

Kydd shrugs in reply, giving a silly grin and apology for another failed recipe. “I’ll call it, the Unhappy meal!”

Episode 2: We Meet Again

The Jellyfish Pirates drop anchor in the dock area of Buzz Island. They’re all rather anxious to set foot on land and begin exploring, except for Davy who generally detests the feeling of solid ground. However, he does give instructions to bring back supplies before going to retrieve his fishing gear. The weather was still pleasant and the waters were looking positively alive with fresh fish.

In full roach form, Bubba crawls down the plank on all six. Knowing the island to be inhabited primarily by insects, he was to act as an interpreter for any non-human residents. Kydd was paired with the Zoan, partly due to his responsibility as chef and since nobody in their right mind would want Bubba handling their food.

Fluffybeard and KG depart next. “Be careful Master Fluffy!” The robot shouts, chasing after the curious and hyper feline, who was intent on sniffing everything he saw and possibly tasting it as well. The fascination with the dock worker ants quickly vanished when the smell of food hit the kitty’s nostrils. There was a restaurant nearby that must be investigated.

Finally, Magnus strolls down and directly into the market district. He wanted to supplement his lab with a few more books on local insect biology, or possibly start a bug collection. Whichever would present itself first, he supposed. He stops to casually check the cash inside his wallet, then proceeds towards the markets once more.

“Where is the store?” Bubba wondered aloud. He wasn’t much for reading maps, or books, or even words unless they were a repair manual. A moment later Kydd turns to see some large ant, with a sack thrown over its shoulder and a sweatband around its head, clicking and hissing at them both, “What store are you looking for my Queen?” is instead, what Bubba heard.

“The general store or a place to buy food.” He replies.

“Oh! Excuse me! Pardon my rudeness! You were just so big and strong looking that I mistook you for a Queen. We’ve plenty of food saved for the winter, of which I’m sure we would share with you… if you would perhaps meet with our Queen? She’s been rather lonely as of late and the company of a male would do wonders for her mood.” For a rather simple dock worker ant, he was quite eloquent with his words.

“Sounds good to me. I’ve been too long at sea, follow me Kydd.”

“Bubba, if you are screwing me over, I’ll cook you…”

Meanwhile, inside the Furry Lobster Restaurant, KG looks over a menu as Fluffybeard wanders nearby. However, just as the robot finishes deciding what to order, another patron spies the cat and comments, “Oooh, a light appetizer?” He’s a rather tall and gaunt man, speaking through rows of sharp teeth and with arms that seem to be long enough to touch the ground even when standing. As his hand darts out to snatch the curious cat, a beam of light intercedes between him and the cat. He looks up and says angrily, “What’cha think yer doin’ punk?”

KG stands ready, “Try to touch the cat again and I will rip your arms off.” Before things escalate, the bartender informs the feline’s guardian that the gaunt, long-armed man is Chokah, a strong bounty hunter. “Irrelevant.” He replies as his small companion climbs onto his shoulder, “All who try to touch Master Fluffy will die.”

Chokah stands up and cracks his knuckles. Assisting him are several praying mantises that scurry out from beneath the table. “Sounds like someone needs to be taught a lesson.”

“Who? What lesson? Are you also a teach-” KG is cut off as he finds a hand suddenly grabbing his neck. It begins to squeeze tightly and sounds of crunching metal can be heard, but luckily robots have no need for things such as air. “-er? This isn’t a school lesson at all, it’s more like a fight.” Fluffy assists with a rather furious thrashing of claws upon Chokah’s hand, causing his grip to release.

“Argh, pretty tough, ya some sort of armored beetle?” KG shakes his head, raising his left arm towards the Bounty Hunter, “Lightning, Hook!” The coils light up with a spiral of electricity and release in a flash, the resulting static cling both frying and pulling Chokah close. His metallic hand grips hold of his target’s jacket, hoisting him into the air while his other hand stabs the scratching post upward. “Booming, Blade!”

A wave of sound and a solid hit to the chin send the gaunt mercenary’s head crashing into the ceiling. As he struggles to pull himself free, he commands the Gangster Mantises to attack. They spit on the ground and sneer at KG. They’re quite agile though, their quick attacks barely being parried before one finally slices into his knee joint.

Chokah soon frees himself and drops to the ground, thrusting his arm forward to grab a hold of KG’s face. “There isn’t a nut these hands can’t crack! Raaaaaargh!” The sound of crunching metal and popping bolts continue for a moment until KG’s face plate is ripped off, revealing circuits, wires, and a metallic skull underneath. Chokah is stunned for a moment, staring in disbelief.

“Give me my face back!” KG yells, dashing through the Gangster Mantises and their slashing blades. His charging swing is ducked, but followed by a crashing elbow to the top of the bounty hunter’s skull. His eyes roll back into his head and he collapses to the floor. KG then retrieves his faceplate, turning towards the smaller insects. All it takes is a furious growl before they decide it best to bow in apology and scamper off with their boss in tow. “Now, let’s chow down Master Fluffy, a milk and your best fish please.” He then affixes his face back on.

In other parts, after a long walk through the forest, Kydd and Bubba come across a large ant mound. Workers file in and out, moving dirt and supplies, stopping for a moment to wave hello to their guests. “The Queen rarely receives any visitors these days and it’s made her rather sullen.” The guide explains in his usual clicking.

“What happened?”

“The second colony, that we used to hold friendly relations with, was destroyed for “rebellious organization”… by which I mean attempting to unionize.”

“Are you a Union colony?”

“We’d like to be. Our shipwrights are among the most skilled on the island, but our compensation is abysmal.”

“Why won’t they let you? A happy worker is a productive worker.”

“Well, gangsters control this town and own the docks. They feel our pay is appropriate when it comes to lining their pockets with Beli.” He explains as the two are led to a large buffet table, “However, we should cease conversation of Unionizing. If they catch wind of such pleasant fantasies, they will tear off your legs and have you roasted alive.”

“If it’ll make your lives better, then just leave it to me.”

Just as he finishes, the Queen Ant enters the room. She exclaims in the language of humans, “A male! I’ll be right back… have to touch up my pheromones.” Bubba says that there’s no need, because he would prefer to talk in “private”, inside her bed chambers. The Queen Ant giggles and beckons him with a hairy leg, “Don’t worry, unlike a Mantis, you’ll leave here alive,” she winks, “Maybe.”

Kydd’s prepares his spoon and fork, “You have fun with that.” The rendezvous just meant more food for him, without the lingering odor of a smelly cockroach man. The cooking of meat is bare minimum at the dinner table, but the layout of sugary desserts fills the rest of the tabletop. However, with so many lewd noises and a plethora of dirty talk come from the bedroom, their escort asks Kydd if his appetite is okay, to which he says, “A chef’s appetite never falters!”

When Bubba emerges from the back room, he’s approached cautiously by their well spoken companion, “The Queen seemed, rather pleased by your performance. If you are serious about establishing a worker’s union, the crime lord’s grip upon this town’s finances will have to be broken. Are you willing to negotiate with them on our behalf?”

Bubba gives him a thumbs up, still beaming from his private adventure, “Sure.”

Elsewhere, in the market place, Magnus haggles over the prices of reagents he’s interested in, “Surely you can offer a discount on this old acid vial? There’s little time left before it expires.” The merchant agrees to the offer, if Magnus also purchases some surgical equipment and other medical instruments. “No problem.”

Davy Jones on the other hand, after having filled an entire bucket with fish, decided to take a little dip in the ocean. The sea water was a clean azure blue, but so deep one could barely see the bottom. So he figured, why not do some deep sea diving? After an hour of exploration, all that he found salvaging the depths was a chest that must have been dropped by a worker ant some time ago. The contents were barren, probably already eaten by the marine animals or dissolved by sea water. Either way, when dislodged from the ocean floor, it made an excellent float to lounge under the sun on.

It was a short time after just drifting, that he heard a rather heated conversation. “Do you know something about this man?” A masked figure held up a wanted poster, questioning worker ants, “If you speak I’ll go easy on ya! However, I’m afraid I don’t share bounties and this one’s worth quite a bit of money.” Davy’s curiosity prompted him to swim closer, as discreetly as possible. He overhears the target, Bubba, as well as identity of the bounty hunter, Beetlemon.

The man’s companion spider soon becomes more interested in the strange shadow lurking around the dock waters. It crawls onto the rocks, watching intensely and waiting. Then, in a violence of action, it spits a harpoon from its mouth into the water. A tether of webbing reels back a large fish. “Gyakaka!” the bounty hunter laughs, “Fishing again, Sporty? Just leave the fish on the docks and we’ll fry ‘em up later.”

He continues his interrogation while the arachnid tries to get a bead on Davy. Another harpoon is shot, narrowly missing once more, but this time the captain grabs hold of the web line. They struggle against the other’s strength for few moments, but eventually Davy gives a great heave and pulls the spider off his perch and into the water. It fiercely tries to bite him, missing and meeting a Starshadow Blade across the abdomen instead. The second attack latches onto Davy’s arm, but incurs an opening that is punished by a quick stab, ending the fight.

Meanwhile, the scouts that Beetlemon sent to find Bubba, find themselves the target of an ambush instead. The worker ant quietly points out the beetles work for the gangsters, as hired muscle. Kydd simply nods and fades into the shadows, appearing a moment later on the rooftops. His fingers morph into almost invisible wires that snake below and lift the insects off their feet, as well as silence their cries for help. Bubba hastily follows the attack by dashing in, quickly turning back into a human, and beating them like they were punching bags.

“I’m getting a bad feeling about this Sporty,” the gangster comments, looking around for his companion, “Sporty?” He notices his cohort bobbing on the water’s surface. “You alright?” he asks, but the only response is a hairy leg which beckons closer. When he gets to the shoreline and further examines the water, Davy jumps out from the ocean holding a chest under his right arm. “Sporty drank a little too much sea water,” he says, starlight gathering within his hand.

He tosses the chest above him and pierces it with his Starshadow blade, “Jones’s, Locker!” Suddenly, a wormhole opens above the gangster and pulls him inside. Davy lands on the rocks where the insect boss once stood, holding the now noisy trunk above the sea. “Don’t mess with my crew.” The blade then disperses, dropping the imprisoned man into the water.

Davy turns around, ready for a fight. He looks down the street, seeing Magnus returning from the markets. He looks to the Furry Lobster, noting KG exiting. He looks to the roof tops, where Kydd’s hands were already forming weapons. Finally, he looks to the alleyways, from which Bubba emerges cracking his knuckles.

The fight starts with one of the smaller Blade Beetles charging Davy head on. Moments before though, a butterfly flaps its wings, causing a dew drop to fall from a tree and hit a worker ant’s head, causing it to look up and pause for a moment, causing the ant behind it to suddenly walk into the other, causing him to drop the barrel he was holding, which rolled down the road…
and smashed into Blade Beetle. “That’s misfortunate.”

A fire beetle inhales deeply, but soon finds itself unable to exhale. “Tonight’s dinner is going to be a little spicy.” Kydd says, pulling the wires around it tight, resulting in a fiery explosion below. The largest Blade Beetle locks eyes with Magnus for just a moment, then finds itself turning on its companions and stomping them flat. “Oh my, infighting. How dreadful.”

“Noro Noro,” KG’s chest opens to reveal a crystal of some sort, “Laser!” The beam streaks out, but misses the large target. It impacts into the wall beneath Kydd, making him back off as the stones breaks apart in slow motion. Davy’s hand opens to gather Starlight, then fires at the large beetle and sends it flying. It smashes into the crumbling wall, almost unconscious, but when the effect of the laser wears off, the resulting debris collapse ensures its defeat.

The final Blade Beetle saw the lop sided battle and began a retreat. However, Bubba gives chase, sprouting wings and leaping from building to building in pursuit. He drop kicks it just as it leaves the edges of town and they begin hand to hand fighting. The fight wears on and the Handyman becomes more and more monstrous. First was the wings, now claws emerge from his back and begin slicing at his target, then a large green orb grows from his chest. With little else that he can do in order to escape, the Blade Beetle burrows into the ground to make its getaway. “Radiation,” The sphere glows brightly as it charges energy, “Wasteland!” Then a blast of energy strikes the ground, withering plants and turning the soil to sand. “Rest in peace.” He returns to full roach form before joining the others. “So… who’s next?”

“Booohahahaha! Can you believe it brother?! Thank our lucky stars! We’re alive. I hope we never have to see those guys… a… gain…” The Buggy Pirate Second Division Brothers yelped in horror upon seeing the crew again, jumping back into the water and swimming for dear life into the sunset.

Davy smiles as the night rolls in and stars begin speckling the sky. His form soon changes from bandages to clear white skin and pointy ears. “A moment guys, I’ll go have a talk with them.”

Episode 3: The Stealthy Trio

Night brings on a change in Davy’s appearance, turning loose bandages into porcelain skin, incisor teeth into fangs, and lengthening his ears to pointy tips. “Excuse me for a second, while I go have a chat with those two,” he says, giving no warning of jumping into the sea after the incompetent pair of brothers.

Beneath the waves he moved with the speed of a Fishman, rocketing between the two and into the air. Both of them were seized by the collar, pleading for dear life, when they found themselves gently set down on some rocks. Davy looks down at both of them, “Enjoying the swim? It’s a long way until the next island.”

“Aahh!! What do you want? Haven’t you done enough to us?!”
“Sank our ship, killed our pets, froze us, set us on fire, twice, and made us swim through sea king infested waters.”

“I had a bad breakfast. Listen. We’ve got to take care of a certain Marine Captain and I’d like your help with that.”

“You mean Ironjaw? If you value your lives or freedom, you should stay away from him. In a way, we got lucky having no boat on our way back here. Swam by his ship and all he did was laugh at us.”
“Yea! And we haven’t forgotten you wanted to torture us, gut us, steal our women, and then feed us to the sea kings earlier. You’re probably worse than Ironjaw!”

“Anger Mushrooms were put in my meal, you can blame that on Kydd. I’m more than willing to share some of the treasure with you guys, if you help… and we didn’t plan on stealing your women. That’s your imagination. I really doubt you have women.”

“He must be a psychic AND a shape shifter.” The two brothers stare at each for a moment, before sighing in unison. They agree to assist, under a single stipulation: saving their captain and former crew must be part of Davy’s plan. They explain that Pirate crews aren’t usually composed of two people and a trash barge.

“Well, I started with worse.” Davy thinks to himself, having began his pirating life alone and on a fishing boat.

They had a ship once and a capable commander, but that changed recently when Ironjaw set a trap and captured everyone except them. “We shamefully… ran away. To distract the captain from taking them immediately to Impel Down, we tried to cause as much trouble as possible… and that’s when we met you guys.”

“Very well then.” Davy agreed, “You two will assist me on reconnaissance.” He places a hand on both their shoulders and after a slight dizzy sensation, all three are on the shore. ”Once I have an idea of the layout of their ship and number strength, I can plan an offensive.”

As Davy Jones was conversing with the brothers, his crew was busy “plundering” the surroundings. Magnus reloads his Alchemical Fires with the napalm extracted from the flame beetle, while Bubba collects cans, bottles, crates, and anything recyclable. He claims it to be part of his cancer treatment. KG passes the time with robot questions, like how can a filth mongering insect get cancer. Magnus interjects, telling Bubba that he doesn’t have a tumor, it’s a third nipple. “Perfectly normal.”

When deciding who should accompany him on his stealth mission, Davy notices Kydd, his stealth specialist, has gone missing. “Where did Kydd go? Anyone notice?” To which everyone shakes their head. Magnus finishes his autopsy, “Sure that’s not him?” He points towards what vaguely appears to be human at first, but is really just a barrel with a broomstick sticking out of it.

“I placed a tracking beacon on him earlier. I’ll know in a second.” Bubba proudly exclaims. A moment of concentration seems to conjure several glowing lights that float around him. “Go my spirits, find him!” However, they don’t anything more than encircle him. Curiously, Blue Brother steps closer and squints his eyes, “These aren’t spirits. They’re mosquitoes! They claim to be poisoned, they need an antidote.”

Bubba asks why they can understand the little blood suckers, but he cannot. Red Brother beams with hubris, “They aren’t very smart, so you have to be of a similar intelligence to understand them! Boohahahaha!” Magnus posits the question, “Eh? So that puts you on a level lower than bird brained?”

A shocking relevation for both the brothers, “EEEHHH??? Oh! They said the Metal One took off to the North. I think that’s where the Gangster’s mansion is! Wait! Noooo! Be strong little one. Don’t head towards the light! The light is what poisoned you!”

The captain considers the situation: a glowing cockroach, a walking machine of metal, and a rather loud paper bag. He sighs, reminded precisely why the crew needs the ninja-like Kydd, and it wasn’t because of his excellent shish-kebabs. “The two Buggy Brothers will accompany me to Ironjaw’s ship. The rest of you approach the mansion discreetly. If Kydd has been captured, then he’s likely held hostage there or on the ship.”

The groups split apart, Davy pressing on silently into the night while the other group consider inane things. KG remarks, “Perhaps I should have gone with the captain? I can swim.” Magnus points out that “swimming” and “walking on the bottom of the ocean floor” are two entirely separate abilities, and not to mention his cat possesses neither skill.

“I can swim just fine though! However… swimming while wearing a bag on your head doesn’t mix.” Bubba notes that might cause someone to actually see his face.


“I’ve already seen it.” “I’ve seen it as well.”


“It was while you were sleeping.”

“Then what color is my hair?”

“Blue.” “Pizza?”

“Your memory banks may have suffered slight damage, after seeing, err, I mean our last confrontation. And no, my hair is not blue.”

Before they knew it, they were already walking up on the mansion in their midst of a conversation. The sounds of a revelry came from the large house, but the trio’s discussion can be slightly overheard by the guards stationed outside the doors. “Who’s there?”

Magnus adopts a ghostly and reverberating tone, “Just us ghosts.” KG doesn’t quite grasp the reason for the lie, however, “Ghosts? Isn’t it just us here? Wait… GHOSTS?!?”

“WE ARE THE GHOSTS! SHHH!” Magnus invariably yells back.

The bigger door guards shout in panic and run inside, grabbing whatever candles, salt, and garlic they can find in the kitchen. Meanwhile, Bubba crawls up the side of the mansion and into a side window, since the other two seem to be serving as quite a distraction.

KG runs up to the entrance, “There’s ghosts out here! Aaaaaah!” He screams at the front door guard in terror for a few moments. When the second watchman returns, shaking at the knees, he sees KG and points a cross at the screaming robot. It was at this time that the faceplate repairs he made earlier, after fighting Chokah, come apart from all his yelling. Soon, two glowing red lights and a metal skull stare right at them. “Oh, salt and garlic, that reminds me… Can my Master eat you? He’s terribly hungry.”

After his chest opens and two glowing eyes peer out from the darkness, the guard freaks out. “Wha-wha-wha-what’s that?” “Meow?” “Aaaah! Ghost cat! It’s piloting that haunted armor! We must destroy it!” All four men brandish weapons, two metal pipes and two cutlasses, and charge KG head on. His hatch closes just in time as a swift pole connects with the side of his head, while a sword manages to stab directly into his shoulder joint.

The other two charge Magnus, but one meets his gaze and smashes the face of his friend. “Ahh! I think I’m possessed! Get away from me!” KG enters defense mode, “So the ghosts are inside you? Booming Blade!” The scratching post sword connects, resulting in a shock wave that flings his target against the wall. He steps back, pulling the sword out and dropping it to the floor. Even though he is flanked on both sides, he easily parries and blocks their attacks.

“Eyebeam!” Magnus’s ray of light dispatches a third, striking the guard in the back. The fourth and final tries to make an escape, but KG catches him with a Lightning Hook, pulling him off his feet, grabbing the man’s head, and subsequently smashing his face into the ground.

Still in defense mode, KG warns of danger, “Magnus! Ghosts!” His paper bag headed companion explains that it was just a ruse. “So there aren’t any ghosts?”

The misunderstood scientist shakes his head, “Back on topic, have you ever seen my face?”

“I can’t seem to remember. You don’t have a ghost face do you?”

“Maybe. It’s been a while since I checked…” They continue their conversation outside the doorway.

Elsewhere in the mansion, Bubba finishes dressing into some snazzy new clothes he’s found. He stops for a moment to pose in the mirror, a veritable James Bond of Roaches. However, something is missing, accessories! He completes the tuxedo ensemble with a top hat and a monocle he made using a lens from a broken telescope and some gold wiring.

When he leaves the bedroom, the sounds of celebration stop. “Hi guys! Not late am I?” A quick glance around the room reveals three very important details: 1: This was not a formal party, 2: Zero non-humans were present, and 3: He was alone upstairs. Bubba had to think fast. “I was invited as a diplomat from the Ant Queen.”

The head boss eyes the gentleman roach suspiciously, “We didn’t ask to see any damn diplomat. They know their place. If they try anything funny, they’ll end up just like their neighboring colony.”

“Precisely why they wish to keep good relations!”

However, his ruse hardly seems to phase the boss, “Nice suit.”


“Give it back.” He says, approaching closer.

“What are you talking about?”

It was at this moment the boss seems to sweat a bit. He was actually one of two cipher pol members working undercover there. “I, um, need it for formal dinner parties.” After which one of the henchmen laughs, “You don’t ever go to formal parties Boss!”

“He’s right, you don’t. If it’s your suit, prove it!”

A few more beads of sweat form on his brow, “Wha-what do you mean? We run this town. Anything that I want, I just say it’s mine! That’s how we do things. Right men?” The question provokes a resounding roar from his crew.

“Geez. Where the heck are they?” Bubba thinks to himself.

“And that’s the plan! Genius no?” Magnus explains.

“YEA! Wait… burnt toast?”

“Yes! We’ll scorch their toast so black, it’s impossible to scrape off! That’ll show ‘em! Nothing worse than having your morning toast be inedible.”

“Hey,” KG just noticed, “where’s Bubba? Should I be killing someone right now?”

“He snuck in through the back. I’m sure he’ll notify us somehow. Anyways, the second part of my ingenious plot! Video games. We’ll leave super addictive video games that will keep them from getting any sleep! Their morning tomorrow is so ruined!”

“So when do we knock them out and ruin their bread?”

As if to answer the question, one of the guards manages to stumble to his feet and makes it to the door unnoticed. He yells, “G-g-g-g-ghosts!” before falling to the floor. The entire guard draws their weapons and prepares to fight. KG storms into the room, stomping on the man who opened the door, “FUCK YOUR TOAST!”

Elsewhere, as Davy approaches the shore, he wonders if it really was a good idea to send those other three to the mansion. “They should be fine… I hope… I better hurry.”

Episode 4: Hidden Truths

“It’s a possessed suit of armor!” Bubba exclaims, trying to divert attention away from himself.

Still oblivious to the ruse, KG looks around frantically, “Wait! Possessed suit of armor? Where?”

The Boss is distracted for only a moment, giving the command to capture both when the entire room goes black. In the second he was looking away, Bubba’s claw punches into the wall and rips out several high voltage wires needed for the lights. Darkness would have been the perfect concealment to make an escape, but the entire room’s attention focuses on the glowing one instead.

He stabs the still sparking wires straight at their leader, who manages to catch his hands at the last moment. The other gangsters within the room reach a grim solution, “He was the real ghost all along! Everyone help Boss Tony!” With the failure of his sneak attack, Bubba reverts to human form in preparation for battle.

They close in while Bubba’s hands remain tightly gripped in a strength deadlock. “Tsunami, Shitstorm!” Suddenly, an extra pair of insect appendages sprout from his shoulders and slice about violently. The attack sends his reinforcements stumbling back before being brought down on him like two ghostly pickaxes.

He shouts, “Tekkai!”, reinforcing his body to become like steel and stopping Bubba’s claws from dealing any damage. However, it was only the start of the plumber’s technique. His hands gather energy and a high speed one inch punch blasts Tony in the chest. The resulting shockwave passes through his body and sends more of his companions flying away. The combo continues with a snap kick to the nuts that lifts the enemy boss off his feet. He’s followed into the air, Bubba’s hands bringing twin electrical wiring to his skull before finishing with a front kick that breaks apart half the room with its explosive power and sends Tony smashing into the opposing wall.

The smoke disperses, showing him to be slightly scathed and sullied, “Get him Fabrizio!”

Tony’s second in command steps forward, “Soru!” He disappears for a split second and reappears behind Bubba. “Jooshigan!” Time seems to pause for a moment as both his palms strike into the Zoan’s back, piercing him with all ten fingers and stunning him in pain. The impact sends him flying into a crowd that strike Bubba’s face, stomach, and legs with metal flails and poles. As his last bit of strength keeps him standing, the word “Rankyaku!” seals his defeat. Tony axe kicks the air from twenty feet away, sending a slicing blade of air towards the dazed pirate. It passes through him leaving a diagonal slash across his chest that ruptures with blood.

“I’m… just… sleepy.” Bubba mutters before taking a spiked ball across the back of his head, collapsing to the ground, and finally going unconscious. It doesn’t take long for the second Cipher Pol agent to finalize the capture by slapping on a pair of Kairoseki cuffs. “Good job men, looks like we’ve caught aaaaa biiiiiiig ooooooone.”
KG’s “Noro Noro Laser” had struck Fabrizio in the back, slowing his movements to a crawl for a short time. “I’ll save you Bubba! Lightning, Hook!” He extends his left hand, plates pulling back as a whirring sound builds a charge. However, one of the minions gets in the way of his attack and gets fried shortly before meeting the robot’s fist, with his face.

The room and courtyard begins to fill with more gangsters. “Alchemical Fire!” A rocket filled with napalm blows open an escape route. He further concentrates on someone approaching, hypnotizing him into attacking his comrade. “There’s far too many ghosts, we should consider a tactical regrouping. I don’t like it when sharp pointy things go into my soft fleshy things.”

“Concur. I am very scared Magnus. Ooh! Anti-ghost weaponry!” He finally notices the man he’s been standing on for the entire fight. As the wave of enemies swarm in on him, he picks up a handful of salt and throws it in their eyes.

“Aaaagh! I’m being purified!”

“Noooo yoooou’rrre noooooot.”

The two make a break for it, but there’s far too many. In a last ditch effort, Magnus stops and unleashes his Conquerer’s Haki. A wave a energy causes everyone, but KG, to feel sleepy. Unfortunately, the stronger ones resist the effect and line their sights up against the gaunt doctor’s back. Two bullets later, he falls to the ground, bleeding heavily from his back. As the blood loss takes his vision, he curses his carelessness and sees KG escape into the night.

A henchman looms above Magnus, holding his forehead, “Ughh, what the heck was that? I felt a little dizzy there for a second.”

Fabrizio enters the scene, no longer incapacitated by the laser, “It doesn’t matter. Get this one some medical attention and tie him up good.”

Meanwhile, the Steel Lion, captain Ironjaw’s small battleship, receives a Den Den Mushi call from Boss Tony. Outside his chamber, Davy clings to the rim of the window and listens closely. “Finished counting their numbers and examining the ship, might as well find out what this is about… though, I have a bad feeling about it.” He thinks.

“Captain Ironjaw. CP3 agent Tony Montana, reporting in. We’ve apprehended two more Pirates. One also has a 5 million beli bounty. Their third member managed to escape us, though. A cat piloting some sort of mechanized suit.”

“Grahahaha! Excellent work Tony. I’m almost done interrogating the first one. I’ll be over there shortly for the pickup.”

“Affirmative. I’ll begin questioning as well. Justice and the World Government shall prevail.”

“Yea yea, just don’t kill em.” He hangs up, “Fanatic. There’s plenty more important things in life… like money! Grahahaha!”

He exits the room, thinking to himself as he walks toward the brig, “However, I shouldn’t complain about Cipher Pol 3 being here. They’ve not taken anything more than needed for their troop pay, but the higher ups said I’d need their assistance for Davy Jones. Bah! They shouldn’t underestimate my strength.”

“Dammit!” Davy mutters under his breath, “Stay strong Kydd, I’ve got to help the others first.” He releases his hands on the port hole window. Just before he touches the water, he teleports away in a small flash of light . He reappears in front of the Buggy Brothers, startling them. Before they scream he muzzles their mouths, “Quiet. We’ve got to move quickly. Follow me.”

Eventually they meet a roughed-up looking robot, “Captain! Help! Super spooky ghosts!!!” Davy nods and has KG lead the way.

Meanwhile, back at the mansion, Bubba and Magnus wake up to a barren room where Fabrizio and Tony finish tossing away some medical bandages. The boss tosses his latex gloves into the trash, “You should be grateful I didn’t have orders to kill you. Either way, it doesn’t matter much. Once Captain Ironjaw takes you into custody, say farewell to the sun and freedom.”

Bubba struggles against his bonds, trying to bite through them. His body feels weak though, unable to muster any strength for his special attacks or shape shifting. His predicament is explained by Fabrizio, “Don’t bother. You shouldn’t be able to do much now. Those are Kairoseki cuffs. Combined with your currents wounds, you’re about as dangerous as a kitten.”

Magnus tries a different approach, “Just so you know, it was one of your men that told us of your location. If you come closer, I’ll tell you who it is.”

Fabrizio laughs at the statement, "Heh, I’m not too worried about that. These guys are dumber than bricks, and everyone knows we’re working with the Marines. Best gig ever for a “gangster”."

“Oh? But what if it was a Marine? Ever consider they might be after your bounty next?”

“An obvious lie,” Tony coldly explains they don’t have a bounty, “we’re given government immunity for our actions.” Fabrizio further expounds their secrets, saying that they were stationed there to take care of Pirates and find Davy Jones. Tony gives him an evil look, “Keep your mouth shut. We’re to stay undercover until our mission is complete.”

Magnus continues bluffing, while Bubba tries to make some lock picks behind his back, “What about the budget cuts the Government is enacting? You’ll be out of a job soon enough.”

Fabrizio laughs, “After this mission, we’ll be set to retire! And don’t think you can pick those cuffs Bubba. We’re quite aware of your skills, but this is for trying! Shigan!” His forefinger pierces the Handyman’s chest, causing him to collapse on the ground coughing blood. Tony opens the door, “Your greed is shameful Fabrizio. Make sure to curb your desires or else the blade of Justice becomes dull. Pick them up and come, Ironjaw should be here any moment now.”

Bubba spits at the lesser ranking CP3 agent, angering him into kicking the plumber’s face. Magnus sees his chance, trying to hypnotize Fabrizio, but Tony distracts him and causes him to look away before the hypnotism completes, “Idiot, stop playing with them. Let’s go.” The henchman nods and heaves them both over his shoulder.

As they enter the main lobby, a strange clanging of pipes echoes throughout the room. “What is that?” In the sewers beneath the house, KG punches the water pipes and bellows, “Oooooo aaaaaaaah!” The captain told him to rattle pipes, “Maybe it’s to scare the ghosts or fool them into believing I’m a ghost?” He continues the attack, grabbing hold of the pipes and ripping them in half. Fluffybeard is happy he’s inside a dry compartment when the dirty water sprays the area.

In the street above, Ironjaw and a large entourage approach the front entrance of the mansion. “Grahahaha! Bubba “Deuce” Machina? What a catch! Looks like most of the Jellyfish Pirates are ours now. All that’s left is the cat and Davy Jones himself.”

They are met by a similarly large group surrounding the two captives. “B-b-boss, I think I hear those ghosts again…” Tony barks at him, “Don’t be an idiot… they’re close by. Keep a sharp eye on the lookout.”

Davy peeks his head out from a man-hole opening not too far away. He throws a rock at the street light, breaking it and ducking back into the drain. Fabrizio shouts, “The lights! They’re trying to create a black-out!” Magnus takes his chance to shoot a quick Eyebeam at another light. However, amidst the chaos, Ironjaw stands calmly. He focuses his senses, not moving a single muscle.

Suddenly, in a blur of motion he strikes the ground with his fist, pulverizing the area beneath him and launching KG and Davy out from the sewers. Several others in his party are injured from the attack, but Ironjaw takes not even the slightest notice of it. “Glad you could join us! Now lets end this game of cat and mouse. I don’t want to miss my dinner… Davy Jones.”

“Hmm? I’m not Davy Jones. I’m Baron Von Lichtenstein, a ghost hunter. I’ve come for the spirit of a man who died in his bathtub several days ago.”

His words are pretty swaying and everyone gets nervous. All but Ironjaw and Tony that is, “Do not take me for a fool Davy! I’m under orders to kill you and capture your crew.”

“Hmm. KG… take care of Bubba and Magnus. He’s mine.” A blade of starlight forms within his right hand and they charge each other.

“Be careful Captain. He’s an awfully spooky one.” KG replies back, already dashing towards Fabrizio. His sword knocks away several of the minions in his path, his plating turns aside the incoming rifle bullets, and his uncovered face scares those who get too close! The valiant charge prompts Bubba to regain one more bout of consciousness through tenacity alone.

“Secret technique… Second Wind!!” He wiggles his buttocks into his captor’s face and soils his pants for everything he’s worth. He can barely stay conscious, can’t even swing his arm for a punch, and wiggling almost opens up his wounds, but he can certainly clench his insides.

The man is sickened and stunned by the gas attack, giving Magnus another opening. He opens both palms towards Fabrizio’s chest, shouting, “Air Blast Cannons!” The undercover agent is blown away, along with several other henchman, in a wave of compressed air. He calls out, “KG: 0100110001100011!”

“Command Accepted.” The robot guardian opens his chest and stuff Magnus inside. A paper bag, two hands, and lower legs dangle out of compartment. After picking up Bubba, he yells to the Captain, “I’ve got them!”

“Good! Now get to that Sewer grate!” Davy shouts back.

“Stop that machine!”

The henchmen try to get close, but KG’s torso does a quick 360 while Magnus unleashes a wild torrent of air. Together, they name it, “Whirling!” “Cannon!” However, the Cipher Pol agents stand firm against the blast with their Tekkai technique. A line of riflemen unload a volley of bullets at the trio, but KG spins around, causing the bullets to ricochet off his back as he shields the other two. With the path clear now, KG dashes towards the sewer grate.

“Soru!” Unfortunately, Fabrizio stands in their way, but curiously looks at Magnus for too long. The fusion of man and machine in such a way, was a rather strange sight. The swirling eye was also a rather strange sight… “Go away!” A zombie-like nod is given and he runs in the opposite direction of the group. A quick leap is all it takes for the three to find safety.

Davy on the other hand seems to be having trouble against the monstrously large man in front of him. “He moves quickly,” he thinks to himself, having dodged a quick right hook, but taking the following uppercut to the stomach, “And hits like a beast.” However, as he sees the others find safety, his posture changes to the offensive.

“Grahahaha! If you run Davy, Kydd’s head will roll!” Ironjaw threatens amidst his flurry of attacks.

Davy Jones becomes a little bit angered at the threatening of his crew, slicing true across Ironjaw’s stomach. Soon after, stripes of light appear all over his lumbering body, “Resplendent, Blade!” However, Davy is surprised as sparks fly instead of blood and the shine of metal flashes in the moonlight. Another straight punch sends the Pirate Captain rolling backwards.

Ironjaw’s right eye begins to glow and a faint light can be seen as he opens his mouth. A beeping sound that gets faster and faster can be heard. Davy stands bravely, wipes the blood from his mouth and points at Ironjaw, “We’ll be back at the crack of dawn… and we WILL save Kydd.” A beam of highly destructive light comes from the giant man’s mouth, obliterating everything in a large radius where Davy stands. However, he teleports out just in time, appearing above the sewer grate, tipping his hat goodbye.

Before dropping down he says, “Next time I’ll be a little more serious. I only wanted to see what you can do. Remember… at daybreak we settle this.”

As the crew recover their strength in a dimly lit tunnel, Davy looks around, “Does anyone care to explain what the hell is going on? That man wasn’t made of flesh, Bubba’s taken quite a beating from a band of thugs, and Kydd failed in an assassination.”

Magnus clears his throat and begins to fill Davy in on the modern times of the World Government, their Human Weapons Project, and the secret police known as the Cipher Pol.

Episode 5: Night Moves

“The bugs tell me your captain’s coming tomorrow at sunrise.” A fellow prisoner comments, “ A head on attack against all the gangsters and marines at once? That’s suicide.”

“I’m sure he’s got a plan. As do I.”

Suddenly, his door unlocks and they pull the young chef from his seat. “Time for a little more interrogation. Hope you don’t expect any pity. Cause of Davy’s ultimatum and your “care”, the Captain’s closed the mess hall until morning.”

The marines mercilessly beat Kydd with brass knuckles, knocking him unconscious. Only a moment passes before he’s awake again, staring them down with an angry glare. Breathing a little heavily, one of the torturers ask if he’s had enough. “Know what goes good with a knuckle sandwich?” He starts smiling, “A nice Eggs Benedict and slice of honey covered French Toast.” His captors soon find their stomachs rumbling in unison.

The beating continues until they are out of breath and sweating. Kydd revives again, “Some salted ham, along with heavy pressed sausages, could make a good side. Ever had grits? It’s a South Blue dish that tastes like ground corn. Try it with lots of fresh butter. Oh, a cheesy omelet would really hit the spot after a good torture too, with some OJ to refresh the mouth from all the yelling.” Half the room can’t take it anymore, “I want breakfast!” “Me too!” “Why won’t he stay unconscious?” “But the kitchen won’t open for another 5 hours!”

“That’s too bad. Because you’ll probably want a large juicy steak, smoked and broiled, with a light pinch of salt, when your finished. Blueberry pancakes, still warm and lightly browned, would…” He continues through the night, distracting the soldiers with thoughts of breakfast more and more. Eventually, one by one, the entire crew, but Ironjaw and his second in command, begins sneaking off to eat.

Meanwhile, the two dull-witted brothers have sneaked into the basement of the mansion.

“Boohahaha! Looks like our lucky day Crimson Brotha! These clothes actually fit!”

“Booahahah! Yea, but we gotta be slick about this Azure Brudda. Our mission is to try and get the keys! Our crew is depending on us! We can’t fail!”

Or can they?

Once they are dressed up, they drop their pants a little and do their best thug walk into the living room. Their disguises are flawless, in their mind. They throw up some gang signs and stick out like a couple of sore thumbs. They ask stupid questions like, “Where the 40s at? I thirsty!”

“Hey Newbies! Stop playin’ around and get this place cleaned up!” Tony barks. “Geez, why does it seem the new guys get stupider and stupider?”

“Cleanin’s for bitches!”
“Bitch tha fuck up! Boss said to, so we gonna!”

“You mean, “man” the fuck up, right?” Tony asks, raising an eyebrow.

“Momma didn’t raise no dummy! We got this!” They hold their brooms up triumphantly and begin cleaning with all their might. The boss gangster seems too distracted with preparations to notice the flurry of sweeps making a dust cloud, that courageously finds its way closer and closer. One solid bump later, Tony shouts, “Ni-Shigan!” sending the two tumbling backwards, a finger wound left in each of their shoulders. “Stop fooling around and take the trash outside!”

“Ow ow ow, o’ course Boss.” Azure says, giving a nod to Crimson. After they carry the trash and debris outside, they stop by a grate and look around, “Yo yo! Jellyfishies! I got da keys!” “We’ve got da keys! It was a group effort!” A message in a bottle clinks at their feet, drawing their attention. “Directions?" They pull out the cork and look at the expertly hand draw map, "Says dey headed dis way mah Blue Brudda!”

Deep inside the catacombs of the sewer network, Bubba spots something that gets him rather excited, “Ooo! A candybar!”

“If that’s a real candybar… you can still go ahead and eat all of it.” Magnus comments, barely holding back his disgust. “Anyways, Ironjaw’s most likely a Pacifista, Captain. They’re incredibly tough and powerful. They’re usually pretty mechanical and robotic, their number one weakness. However, he’s still in control of his desires and mind, making him perhaps even more dangerous. If we’re going to fight him, it will take everyone.”

“Oi! We infatuted, infiltoed, umm… penetruded.. we snuck in! We got the key, and -Heeeey!!! Is that a candybar!!! No fair! We haven’t eaten all day! Give us some!”

“Sure thing. I’ve got plenty.”

“Awesome! I’ve never turned down a free snack.”
“Look look! Mine has corn in it! Oh, it really melts in your hand doesn’t it!”
“Mine has peanuts.” He almost puts it into his mouth, “Heeeeey! Why does a candy bar have corn in it?”

Magnus represses the urge to feel sick, “Special new flavor, Snicker’s: Corn Edition.” He can’t help but add to the ruse, even if it is quite disgusting.

“Oh I guess that’s fine.” They take a hungry bite from their chocolate bars, turning green a moment later. “Water! Soap!” “My hand feels so unclean…” They start licking their sleeves to try and get the taste and texture out of their minds.

“Tastes good doesn’t it!” Bubba says, truthfully, “Now, how about those keys?”

Crimson answers with a kernel bejeweled smile and shiny keyring, “Me and my bro are gonna scram now. We held up our part of the deal. Please hold up yours next!”
“Save our captain and crew! Our hopes are riding on you!”

“Sure thing! Want another for the road?” Bubba sincerely asks before grabbing the keys and impatiently unlocking his shackles.

“No no! That’s fine!” They say, hands in front of them as if to push the offer away, “Bleeech! Worst candy bar ever!” “For sure!” They hastily leave the scene, constantly spitting out bits of corn and peanut.

Feeling a lot better, Bubba claims the shackles for himself. “Mine!” He is sure everyone else wants his new toy, “I want to find out what makes these things so special.” He carefully examines them, careful to touch them as little as possible.

Magnus gives an explanation of Kairoseki, or Sea Stone, to everyone else and how it robs Devil Fruit users of their strength. He says the cuffs were probably made of a low quality stone, otherwise Bubba would have been unable to move at all when bound by them. He further expounds the topic by stating that Sea Stone’s almost indestructible and it requires advanced methods to mold and shape it. “Try not to bind yourself with them, because you’re bound to lose the keys in that pile of junk.”

“Hey, my trash heap is carefully inventoried, but my lucky tools on the other hand, are still confiscated by those Agents in the mansion. It’s got plenty of important stuff inside! You know how many rare tampons I’ve collected?” He snatches one floating by, inspecting it, before putting it in his satchel, “They’re invaluable for plugging leaks. You had some stuff taken too, right Magnus? Like that staff thing?”

“Nothing of great importance, and that’s my scalpel, but that’s easily replaced. Can’t you tell the difference between a scalpel and a staff?” Magnus replies, others wondering how big a scalpel must be before it stops being a surgical instrument.

At that time, a familiar gentleman of ants crawls up in the dark, clicking and hissing incoherently to most of the crew, “Word about town implies that you are going to be fighting Ironjaw tomorrow. Is there truth to this suicidal plan of action, or is it merely a fallacy of tongue?”

His eloquent words are lost upon everyone else but Bubba. KG finishes his repairs and affixes his faceplate once more, “Oh look… a giant bug! I’m going to ride you!” The robot grabs onto the large insect’s antennae and somersaults on. “Yaaaay!”

The ant tries bucking and romping to throw the robot off, but it’s no use. “Good heavens. What is this? What are you-”

“You are now my faithful steed! I shall name you, Peter Nincompoop.”

“Assistance Bubba! My name is Three! I am also not of equestrian descent!”

KG stares blankly for a moment, perhaps showing a moment of comprehension, “Shut up horsey. This is quiet time!”… or not.

Three drops his head and Bubba places a comforting hand on the insect’s head. It looks up, happy for the compassion as tears well up in his eyes, “Bubba!” it clicks.

In a sincere and serious voice the plumber tells the giant ant to, “Take it like a man.”

“Gaaaah!” The ant’s eyes widen to five times their original size.

Even Davy joins in, “I prefer the ocean… but a ride is much preferable to this uncomfortable surface called dry land.” He holds up a makeshift sled.

KG excitedly asks to ride him through town, but Davy explains that they cannot walk around the city streets, even at night, at the current moment. “Aww, well where can we go?” Bubba says the Ant is a messenger from the colony and that he’s going back with it to ask the Queen for reinforcements. The robot then excitedly kicks his faithful steed, “Lets go then!”

Davy believes those two to be safe enough, “What about you Magnus?”

“I’m returning to my lab to create on some Anti-Pacifista weaponry. I should be able to makeshift a sword for KG and improve my missiles to produce an effect especially harmful to his circuitry. How effective though? I don’t know.”

“Good luck and be careful then. I’ll prepare myself for the engagement. Don’t forget to get any rest you can. I will gather everyone a few minutes before daybreak.” Finally, Davy and Magnus depart and go their separate ways for the night.

Later on at the colony, Bubba and KG ride into the main hall. “Sooooo heavy,” The worker ant clicks and hisses, sweat running down his forehead and all six legs wobbling from exhaustion, “I carry cargo! Not armors and plumbers!”

Fluffybeard rides upon its head, “Mew! (And cats)”

The Queen Ant enters the room, looking happy to see the visitors. “So the rumors were true! You will fight for us?”

The robot starts to look excited again, “Oooh! That one’s even bigger! Can I ride it Bubba?”

“That’s my ride KG… And yes, we battle tomorrow at daybreak. However, we face a large army. Would you be willing to help us with soldiers? And um… perhaps get my tools? I feel naked without my lucky tool belt.”

“I shall give you some of our finest warriors. As for your tools, our size doesn’t really make us great at infiltration. Perhaps I can offer you some of our Craftsman Caste’s utensils?”

“Alright… but I still want my own.”

“Well, if tools are that important to you. I’ve something special.” She gives a wave of her hand to her attendants, who bring back a small box. She opens it and presents him with a simple hammer of amazing quality, “This was used by a Handyman long ago in the construction of our colony. He taught our first artisans how to craft human structures and ships, but left this with us. Nobody knew the reason why, but I think… you are the reason.”

“This is one of the legendary tools I’ve been searching for! Thanks! I’m really grateful for this.”

Elsewhere, aboard their ship, Magnus creeps about carefully. After taking a shower and cleaning the filth off, he grabbed a fresh pair of clothes and crisp new paper bag, but a beam of light from the lab caught his notice. He saw the door to the medical bay was left cracked open, something he never does. He rolls in, scalpel at the ready and one hand outstretched for quick blasting. However, nobody was there.

“Hmm. That’s odd.” He begins checking his cabin for any clues that may show up. Eventually, he finds a jar out of place, with a note attached to its underside. It’s from Kydd, he deduces from the handwriting and style… like a cheesy romance novel.

“The sea foam may be gathering my unrequited love, but their food only enriches my last dish. If you are reading this, then it means that I have failed in my assassination. The heaven’s weep-” He turns the note over, “The silver haired stud will-” He folds the note out some more, “But fear not, for like a shining-” Magnus finally just skips to the end, “This species of mushroom grows extremely quickly, leaving spores in the bloodstream that seep out of person’s pores. When given fresh water, it’ll spring to life, draining its host at the same time.”

Magnus takes note of the jar filled with spores, “He was probably going using this as a last ditch revenge plot against the Marines. It may take several days, but they will eventually hit a storm which will spell disaster for the entire vessel regiment. Clever, but I’m sure he didn’t know at the time, the captain was a cyborg. I’ll let Davy know of this, once I’m done crafting.”

There are now only a precious few moments before sunrise. Ironjaw and his second in command stand to either side of Kydd, who is locked in Kairoseki stocks. He grabs Kydd by the hair and lifts his head to the army stationed both on deck and on the beach, “It’s about time for you to witness the defeat of your friends. Grahahaha! And if they don’t show up, guess I’ll just have to take out my frustrations with your execution.”

However, at that moment a beam of light appears on the horizon and everyone steps from the light, weapons drawn and with a serious look on their faces. Davy points a Starlight blade at the Captain, “Give ‘em hell boys!”

Episode 6: Viva La Revolution

Bubba and a dozen Warrior Ants, clad in samurai armor and cutlasses, lead the charge as daylight breaks over the horizon. Magnus and KG make up the side flanks. However, Davy remains in the back, kneeling down and talking to Fluffybeard. As his form begins to glow and change shape, he extends his hand, “I’m entrusting this key to you, Fluffy.” He stands up and gives a salute to the small feline, disappearing as the sky turns a light orange.

Surging with confidence, the cat darts through the battlefield, barely noticed by the taller fighters. He looks around for a way to climb aboard the ship, quickly spotting a rope bridge lowered down to the water. The courage welling up inside of him allows him to overcome his fear of water and make a daring leap to grab hold. With all the stealth afforded to him by nature, he sneaks up the rope and looks around, key still within his mouth. The small feline with a big heart thinks to himself, “Where is food boy? I’ve got to save him!”

Bubba and Tony stare each other down on the beach, the sounds of battle barely distracting them. The gangster sneers, “We meet again, but this time… you won’t be so lucky.”

The Handyman clenches his legendary work hammer in his left hand, “This time… I’m not holding back either.” He gives an inhuman roar as his muscles bulge and a white carapace, resembling armor, covers his skin. His shoulders sprout two more arms, ending in glowing green scythes. Finally, his head sprouts two backwards hanging antennae and becomes encased with a frightening insectoid mask, complete with folding mandibles and acid dripping teeth. A glowing sphere in his chest radiates energy, thrumming with unknown power.

They clash fist against fist resulting in an explosive wave that knocks everyone else away. However, their duel was quickly interrupted when Fabrizio quickly appears above his senior’s head and shouts, “Rankyaku, Crash!” His foot almost seems to break the air itself, resulting in a blast that sends Bubba rolling away along with the sand beneath him. “I want a piece of him first Tony… for spitting on me yesterday. And besides… I’ve got something he wants.”

“MY TOOLS!!!!” The Overlord Zoan shouts, “Grrr… tools are for fixing, not for fighting… but I think Thoran’s Hammer here… is going to fix your attitude.”

Feeling the rage built up between the two, the head gangster steps back and lets the two have at each other. Before flashing away to another confrontation, he remarks, “Don’t get too carried away Fabrizio, a single mistake against this one could cost you.” He acknowledges his henchman’s amazing offensive ability as superior, but knows they don’t even compare when it comes to his own defensive Tekkai.

Elsewhere on the beaches, Magnus and KG team up to create devastating control combos. “Delusion Gas!” The doctor shouts, firing into a mass of enemy troops. The mechanical swordsman stands amidst the lingering cloud, unaffected by a gas which makes living creatures choke and believe snakes are binding their arms and legs. As more pour into melee, KG finds himself surrounded and parrying multiple blades, mauls, and hammers.

The sound of unhinging latches come from his sword. A cool fog seeps from the vents in his chest. A blue light emerges from the unsheathing blade. “Whirling, Frostblade!” The fruits of Magnus’s modifications come to light, as a beam saber whips through his opponents, freezing everyone in a wide radius solid. The sword is quickly sheathed after he completes the rotating slash. As the scabbard hinges clasp together again, a big robotic smile stretches across his entire faceplate, “It’s a beam! My sword’s a beeeeaaaam!”

“I know! I made it that way. Careful not to use it too much though, since I’ve no idea how long until it runs out of juice!” Magnus explains, “Save it for the big guy.” He turns to parry an attack, “Pick on someone else.” To which the gangster zombie-nods and hastily clotheslines two incoming attackers. As the delusion gas dissipates, Magnus cocks his arm and ejects an old canister, “Alchemical, Fire!” The rocket jettisons forth and ignites the lingering gases, creating a grand flame that incinerates two squadrons at once.

As KG continues fighting in the crowd, he notices Tony has gone missing. His scanners go into hyper alert and the battle seems to crawl as he processes a wealth of battle information at once. The only one moving at normal speed was the boss himself, flying across the sands at a speed normally invisible to the naked eye.

“Magnus! He’s coming for you!” KG yells, knowing his legs were not quick enough. The doctor’s paper bag turns just in time to see an incoming fist. He barely blocks it with his scalpel, but the sheer power sends him barreling away. As the gangster prepares to follow up with another lunge, KG speeds by at an impossible pace. He encloses a black light within his scabbard, “Darkness, Snare!” Tony grabs his chest as a delayed slash tears a line across his shirt, while a shadow pulls his feet into the ground. “I barely had time to use my Iron Body technqiue. How… did he move so quickly?” He thinks to himself.

The robot floats above the ground, revealing four clear wings in his silhouette against the rising sun. A small light begins to shine and grow in intensity between the robot’s fewer fingered hands, “Noro noro, Laser!” Magnus also assists with the attack, focusing his vision, “Eyebeam!” Unable to move his legs from the ground, the boss grabs one of his nearby minions and throws him into the sky.

His hand stops Magnus’s attack, while the henchman slowly floats through the air after getting hit by the laser. As the bindings around his feet lose strength, KG dives in and his sword explodes with a sonic boom against the villain’s arm. Tony clenches his smoking palm and finally notices KG’s modification was nothing more than a winged soldier ant carrying him. As the deadlock continues, the robot’s left eye changes color from white to red with a small flash, “Room-lock, engaged.”

Tony throws KG away with a mighty swing of his arm and dashes towards Magnus. However, before his fist connects, he feels a slight pull. A small pop noise can be heard and he’s no longer adjacent to the unconventional doctor. Instead, he’s in the air with a mechanical hand grabbing his foot, “Teleport successful.” KG comments, slamming the gangster against the ground.

“Keep him busy. I’ll gather up the rest of the Soldier ants.” Magnus shouts, air blasting away another wave of opponents.

As the fighting continues, Davy emerges from the water, crawling up the side of Ironjaw’s ship and wearing an over-sized hat and coat. His fingers curiously sink into the wood with an unnatural strength. Though he may be small and frail looking, his ghost child form holds tremendous power. “The brig should be right around here.” He says, pulling back a tiny fist. It smashes a large hole in the hull, alerting a guard who shakily pulls out his sword and charges. Davy steps inside and forms his Starlight Blade.

“You’ll not get pa-” The guard begins to shout, but is cut off when he’s sucked into a portal and onto Davy’s outstretched sword. The Pirate Captain kicks the marine off his weapon and into the water. He whips out a set of keys and tells the captives to run, because things are going to get a bit messy on board the ship.

Meanwhile, Bubba clutches his chest which oozes blood from a dozen finger holes. He gathers his will to fight and stands up straight against his opponent, mustering together every last ounce of his strength. Fabrizio leaps into the sky and kicks the air itself like it were solid ground. He dives in for the finishing blow, “I’ll squash you!” Time seems to slow as the shadow of defeat encroaches upon the bloodied Zoan. The Tony’s right hand man and many more gangsters come diving in, ready to seize the opportunity of a weakened handyman.

However, the Zoan suddenly erupts with power, “Montezuma’s, REVENGE!” The orb on his chest pulses with a sickening green light, melting those around him with an intense form of radiation. After which, everyone, including Fabrizio, is thrown back as the thunderous sound of his voice carries the weight of a speeding truck.

Sand is blasted in all directions as he jumps from the ground to meet his opponent with all four fists. A cascade of punches carries the gangster further and further into the sky, ending in a finale where Bubba grips a electrically charged hammer and smashes his opponent into the ground like a lightning bolt. When he drops to the spot in front of his opponent, he doesn’t say anything. He just bends over, picks up his tool belt, and gives Fabrizio a “candy bar”.

Below deck, as the last prisoner jumps out the newly created exit, Davy raises his hand to the sky. A black spot on his right hand writhes and grows tentacles that intertwine around his palm and fingers. “Come forth, Kraken of the Neverending Night!” A pool of darkness quickly extends from his feet and tentacles much larger than himself rip through the hull and wrap around the ship’s engine and surrounding pipes.

Meanwhile, Magnus finishes cleaning up the rest of the gangsters and everyone surrounds the Cipher Pol Agent. The enemy leader drops his head in shame, but is unwilling to admit defeat. He bellows to the sky, arms outstretched and fate resigned, “Broken Arrow!”

KG cocks his head to one side, “Huh? Why is it broken? …AND WHERE IS MASTER FLUFFY?” His sensors scan the area and pick up on the tiny cat’s heat signature dangerously close to Ironjaw’s. Without a moment’s hesitation he flies headlong into danger, but the winged soldier ant carrying him, ascends more skyward than forward.

The explosive sound of over two dozen cannons erupts from the main deck of the ship. Cannonballs pass underneath the mechanical guardian and he can only watch as the beach itself is annihilated. As the beach head fills up with flames, Tony screams from the depths of his heart, “For the World Government! Banzai! Banzai! Banzaaiiiii!”

As they prepare a second round of cannon fire, the pipes below begin to fatten with an enormous amount of hot steam. Eventually, the starry black tentacles writhe and crush the waterworks and keel like dry twigs, causing the bottom portion of the ship to splinter apart and begin flooding, while clouds of hot water seethe through the floorboards of the top deck.

On the beach, bodies of ants and gangsters litter the sand. However, one ant in particular, shivers with weakness, perched above Bubba’s wounded body. When the cannonballs came, he sacrificed everything to protect the Handyman. With its last breath, the ant says, “For my Queen. You’ve made her… so… happy.” The armored helmet falls off, revealing a familiar headband.

Bubba looks up, “Wait! Three? What are you doing here!?! Three!”

It was too late though, the ant had passed on. “I’ll build a shrine for you, and the first born of your queen’s next clutch will be named after you. Viva la revolution!” Bubba barely has time to mourn when a scorched looking Magnus motions to flee the beach with the few ants that were remaining. He himself barely survived the explosion by ejecting himself away at the last moment with his air cannons.

Back at the execution stocks, “Arrgh! What the hell?” Ironjaw yells, grabbing hold of some nearby railing to balance himself, “Everyone! Stop the bombardment and abandon ship! Engage them on land! Sergeant Puffer, go down below and kill Davy Jones. I’m sure he’s behind this. I’ll handle the execution of Kydd myself.”

“I’m afraid the only one who can abandon this ship, is you Ironjaw.” Kydd remarks, looking up from his stocks.

“Huh? What do you-” He was cut off by the screams of his entire crew sprouting mushrooms that left them paralyzed and defenseless. The fungal plague had come earlier than Kydd anticipated, since the steam rising from the floorboards sparked the fresh water catalyst needed for disaster. “Pirate scum! Go to hell!”

Ironjaw raises his hand and a soft click is heard as Fluffy finally has the chance to unlock the bindings holding Kydd prisoner. The giant’s right arm crashes into the floorboards, narrowly missing the young chef’s head and his accomplice.

As he was about to deliver a snarky comment, a wave of dizziness overtakes Kydd and he falls to one knee. He looks down at his hand. A large black spot was in the center of it. “Ah… so it was my strength you used to tear this old ship apart. Don’t worry though…” He looks up at Ironjaw, not even a hint of fear in his eyes.

“I’ve ALWAYS got fight left in me.”

Episode 7: The Tinmen

Not long after Davy begins ripping the ship apart, does he start to feel an all too familiar sensation of weakness. His legs begin to shake and his small frame feels like its much too heavy to bear. As he falls to one knee, he looks down at his hand and it begins to glow as it usually does when he undergoes a transformation.

“Too careless,” He says to himself, looking up at the ceiling, “You used your powers while away from the sight of Heaven.”

When Ironjaw’s first mate arrives below deck, he sees Davy kneeling down and looking winded. “He must have used too much strength when destroying the ship. Lucky!” Puffer thinks. He feels a cool breeze touch his back and looks behind to notice a hole, “You should have run with the rest of the prisoners. I’m not in a good mood right now.”

“Why? You should smile more.” Davy replies, standing back up and putting on a strong face, despite knowing his lack of powers.

The Fishman does smile, sensing his advantage. He takes in a deep breath, pausing for a moment to gather his strength. Suddenly, his body expands like a balloon and shoots spikes in a wide area that tears apart the room and drop them both into the cargo bay.

Davy narrowly avoids the poisonous needles by swatting them out of the air with his jacket. After he lands below deck, he drops the coat and puts up his fists. He prepares himself to fight a Fishman. Not only without powers, but worst of all, in knee deep water.

As Puffer charges forward through the difficult terrain like a bullet, he draws two blades from his sides. Davy however, climbs to slightly higher ground atop a few crates, knowing he’ll not win in a battle of speed under these circumstances. When his opponent gets close enough, he kicks a barrel, sending it splashing into the water and rolling into Puffer’s legs.

However, as he tumbles forward, he stabs with both swords at the ground, somersaulting forward and still standing. “Fugagaga! Is that all… rrrrgh…. you…. rrrrgh!” His swords were still stuck in the wooden planks below as Davy rolls another barrel at the Fishman. He gives one more desperate pull and they come loose, slicing the impromptu container in half.

Puffer yells, “Darting, Sword!” as water begins to swirl around his legs. He bolts from his location, leaving a large fishtail cresting behind him. Davy barely has time to react, only managing the smallest of movement before getting run through. As the collision carries through with enough momentum to send the impaled captain flying, his opponet remarks, “Clever. You shifted just enough to avoid your heart getting pierced. There’s more where that came from though.”

Davy crashes into several crates of food, reaching around for something to use as the Fishman flies towards him like a deadly arrow. Using all of his might, he swings a large Elephant fish in a wide arc that crashes down on top of his speedy opponent. As Puffer struggles underneath the weight of the large impromptu club, Davy slides forward and snatches a sword from his prone opponent.

He rises again, ready to duel on equal terms now, “You can’t possibly think you can beat a Swordsman as good as I with his own weapon.”

“I’m pretty handy with a sword myself.” Davy retorts, assuming a fencing stance. Thrusts are dodged and parried, but the Pirate lands the first strike, piercing Puffer in his arm. He howls in pain, “Fugu Counter!” He spins with the blow and circles to Davy’s back. As the thrust comes from behind, Davy bends forward and mule kicks Puffer squarely in the chest.

The Fishman’s confidence is shaken as he staggers backwards, “Not bad.”

“Same to you.” Davy smiles, assuming a readied stance and awaiting his precise moment.

Feeling somewhat frustrated, Puffer inhales sharply, “Fugu Cyclone!” His size begins to increase as he spins round and round, filling the cargo hold with a deadly orbit of poisonous spikes. Davy tries to pop him like a balloon, but the rotation turns aside his thrust and forces the pirate back. Now forced against the wall, he yells and throws his hand forward. Poisonous barbs slice into his palm, but the outlaw captain breathes heavily and smiles, having stopped the onslaught.

“Feels good.” He says, looking at his bleeding hand, now pierced by a spike. He releases a mighty roar and stabs Puffer in his overblown stomach. A furious blast of wind hits Davy’s face as Puffer spirals out of control through the air and smashes through the wall of the ship and into the ocean outside.

As the ejected fishman regains his senses and shakes off the dizziness, Davy curiously picks up a rope and his hands become a blur of motion as he starts to make something. It only takes a few moments before he stands a makeshift scarecrow, wearing his tattered jacket, at where the ship ends and meets the ocean. He casually places his hat on it, “Sometimes, even the smartest of fish.. fall for the simplest of bait,” he calmly says, before walking away.

At the precise moment when Puffer bolts from the water, piercing the straw man’s chest, Davy cuts a rope leading through a series of pulleys that are normally used in moving the cargo crates. As a heavy crate descends, a net rises out of the water in a sudden eruption, capturing Ironjaw’s second in command like any other common fish. When Davy steps into the daylight, he changes form back to that of a small ghost child. Puffer laughs for a moment, “Fugagaga! Looks like you’ve shrunk.”

“Small yes, but also… mighty.” Davy punches the fishman and sends him pinballing from wall to wall before swinging back in front of the captain. With one hand grabbing hold of the net, his other readies a rapier aimed at Puffer’s neck, “Your skills are wasted here. I give you the choice to come and serve me, or continue dealing with these air breathers.”

“Fat chance, military service is a compulsory service for my people. Every Fishman that sails under a Pirate flag only complicates matters between us.” Puffer replies, straining his neck to back away from the pointy tip of his own rapier. “However… I do smell fishman blood within your veins.”

“More than that flows from my heart brother. You should live freely, as you choose.”

“Hmm, then I shall give you some advice. The captain has already contacted Headquarters about what has transpired here on this island. I would not suggest going to the Red Line, where there will surely be many more battleships will be awaiting you.”

“Then do you know of a detour? A more hidden route perhaps? I’m sure there are other ways into the Grand Line.”

“If you truly wish to make it to the Grand Line, then take this.” Puffer carefully reaches into his jacket and pulls out a map bound with a Log Pose, “There’s an island not too far from here in the Calm belt. It has a Marine presence, but most of the battleships will probably be stationed at the Red Line entrance. However, to get there you’ll need a vessel capable of sailing without wind.”

Davy takes the gift and cuts the net, freeing his captive. “Nobody should stay bound, whether it be by net or regulation. May we meet again under better times.”

“Perhaps one day on Fishman island? Fugagaga!” Puffer stands tall, looking back as he places his hand on the wreckage of the ship he once served, “I’ll make sure the higher ups think you’re sailing towards the Red Line. I hope I don’t see you there. You may be a pirate, but you bring our kind honor.” He says before diving into the water.

Davy looks up, the sounds of his crew fighting bring him back to earth, “Lets finish this.”

While the Pirate Captain and Ironjaw’s First Mate battled below, another brawl was happening topside. It all started with Fluffy, still engorged with courage, pouncing at the hulking brute called the Marine’s called Captain. If only intent alone were enough to win a battle, then maybe this would have ended differently.

As time seems to slow down on the tiny furball, a hand is raised in front of the feline’s nose. A single finger knocks the cat away and sends it bouncing across the deck like a tiny stone. The robot, still at the other side of the ship can only watch in disbelief, “Fluffybeard! Noooooooo!”

He leaps at full speed, assisted by the flying ant jetpack, and slams his shoulder into one of the masts, toppling it towards the giant’s head from behind. “Don’t attack love!” Kydd distracts Ironjaw, “We’re all made of metal here… but you’re the only tin man here without a heart!” He throws a roundhouse kick into the brute’s knee and backflips away to safety. As the sound of metal clashing against metal rings like a churchbell, Ironjaw starts to falter to one knee as the giant wooden mast crashes against his head.

Enraged, he throws the log off with a single swipe of his arm. His mouth opens up and a light begins to grow in intensity, the future laser’s target was Kydd. He dodges the brunt of the attack, but the resulting explosion throws him off the deck.

“Lightning, Hook!” KG shouts, the electrical bolt grabbing the Devil Fruit user from the sea’s embrace. They nearly collide, but Kydd’s hand grabs KG’s, causing a mid-air spiral before releasing and landing back on deck. With the ship still sinking, Kydd hobbles for dry land, but the robot shows no signs of backing down against someone that hurt his cat. The robot flies straight at Ironjaw, unsheathing a blade of darkness.

Bubba runs through the sand and makes the leap on board in a single bound. Looking around, his eyes widen at the sight of a broken ballista. Magnus however, not being the highly athletic type, safely works his way up a makeshift boarding plank composed of hull debris. Still winded and exhausted, Kydd makes his way towards the Handyman.

It takes only a moment for the master craftsman to repair the siege weapon, but a few seconds to figure out it was locked in place and therefore, unable to swivel round to point at its target. When he finally turns it around, Magnus rolls a vial of Alchemical Acid beside Bubba’s feet, “A little augmentation for your next shot.”

Pulling back the gears, he loads a nearby bolt onto the strings and affixes the bubbling green vial to the end. Patiently he waits for his shot, seeing a chance after only a moment’s bounty. KG brings down his dark beam saber on Ironjaw’s arm, “Darkness, Snare!” cratering his feet into a pool of blackness. Their eyes lock for a moment, with KG’s right iris turning a bright red, “Room lock, engaged.”

The siege weapon comes to life, “KER-SHNK!” releasing a bolt that slams into Ironjaw’s bound right leg. The tough metal alloys that he’s made of cause the attack to ricochet off, but not unscathed as volatile acids eat into his kneecap. As Bubba reaches down for a quick reload, Kydd’s hand tightly grabs him instead, “I’m next.” He says, morphing into a rather wicked looking twin pronged bolt with jagged edges. “Aaahahaha! Of course, I love shooting teammates.” Bubba loads up his volunteer ammunition, looking for another opening.

KG sees Fluffybeard weakly rise to his feet (unknowing that it was really just a ruse to make his guardian fight harder) and rapidly smashes Ironjaw back with intense Robo-Fury. “Booming Barrage!” He shouts, the blade turning an ivory white as each swing brings a shock wave that explodes against his opponent’s arms.

“You impudent little tin can! Let me show you real mechanical power!” The Captain shouts, both arms stretching wide for a moment before catching KG in a crushing embrace. Sounds of crunching metal can be heard before he finally releases his vice-like bear hug. He raises the robotic guardian above his head and hurls him into a wall. As he begins pounding away at KG’s torso, the Roach Zoan’s eye grows wide at seeing the Marine’s exposed back.

“Now!” Bubba thinks, squeezing the trigger, “THIS ONE’S FOR THREE!!!”. The siege ballista fires straight for the brute’s right leg. Sparks fly as Kydd clashes against a metallic joint eaten away by acid, rendering it asunder and sending him off balance. Kydd quickly reforms, bringing a metallic fist to strike true against the other leg.

“Aargh!” the Marine Captain grunts, barely staying upright as his torso itself spins round to meet his rear assailant. He grabs Kydd by the leg and completes the rotation by smashing him against KG. The Jellyfish Pirate’s first mate loses consciousness, having suffered plenty more wounds from the previous night.

Infuriated, Ironjaw charges up his mouth laser to finish off KG and Kydd in a single blast.

Episode 8: A Layered Defense

The high pitched sound of beeping grows faster and faster, building up to the moment of KG and Kydd’s incineration. However, Magnus does his best to try and distract Ironjaw with a well placed “Eyebeam!” that explodes against the side of the giant’s head. Needing some time to escape with an unconscious Kydd, KG follows the attack, “Noro Noro Laser!”

The second ray of light sends a billowing smoke cloud that lingers around the hulking brute’s head, slowing the beeps down tremendously. The robot pleads, “Come on! Quiet time’s over! Wake up!” Suddenly, he blasts up into the sky, escaping a destructive explosion of energy, and thankful his Winged Ant companion is still alive and conscious.

“Why thee faaaaace?” Ironjaw shouts in slow motion.

“Because the sight of it offends me?” Magnus remarks.

“Did you see that Magnus? You’re not the only one with beams!” KG comments boastfully, settling Kydd into a Crow’s nest high up and far away.

“Yours don’t come from your eyes though! Thus, mine are superior. Never miss brand Eyebeams!”

“Well! Umm… but…” KG gives a robotic sad face, before his eyes widen at seeing his ward puffing himself up in front of Ironjaw, “Noooo!”

“Mew!” Which roughly translates to, “Rarr! Now I’ll show you my true power!”

As the cybernetic hulk comes to, he sees the cat standing up to him again. He reaches out to grab it as it leaps at him with its claws outstretched. “Mew!” Which in feline means, “Heeeeelp! KG!” POP! Ironjaw is quite confused when the world is suddenly relocated and upside down.

“Teleport successful.” KG wraps his legs around the villains neck and with the help of his insect accomplice, performs a spinning pile driver that buries the villain’s head into the ship’s deck several stories below, completely destroying the room labeled “Captain’s Quarters”.

Wasting no time, he flies off to scoop his cat up into his chest compartment and landing near by a preloaded cannon. Even Magnus pulls his own repaired ballista, seated across the deck from Bubba, into firing position. They nod at each other, opening all manner of siege weaponry bombardment on the Marine Captain as he pulls his head out of the wooden floorboards.

The few seconds pass by like hours as they reload. Did that get him?

From the explosive cloud, Ironjaw leaps directly at KG, screaming in a total rage. He would say something intelligible, but with half his face missing its skin and bottom jaw hanging loosely with a smoking laser cannon inside, speaking becomes a little bit of a chose. He smashes the cannon in his way. “My new toy!” The robot protests, but even with only a single leg, his opponent is incredibly agile and wastes no time returning the favor for a broken face.

A swift uppercut raises KG off of his feet and system failure seems imminent. The heavy punch is followed by two fists crashing together on the robot’s skull. Sensing what could be his end, a new energy finds itself channeled through KG’s system, strengthening his core frame. As Ironjaw holds aloft the robot between his knuckles, he watches several pieces slowly fall off the guardian, including the faceplate, but a shining sparkle glimmers in the orange sunlight. His skeletal frame had become diamond.

Now extremely frustrated seeing the light still shine within the robot’s eyes, Ironjaw grabs the target of his ire by the head and repeatedly hammers his chest, unable to scathe even the cat protected within. The sound of another ballista bolt, delivered by Bubba’s keen eye and steady hand, snaps him out of his bewildered state. Magnus stretches out both arms and fires twin rockets that curve outward before homing in on both sides of Ironjaw’s elbow. They explode in a flash of blue that cause the tree-sized arm holding KG to spasm out of control and release it’s grip.

KG’s frame returns to normal and he prompts his insect to make an escape to higher ground. However, Ironjaw wants no such reorganizing and his still good arm backhands the flying ant and its cargo out of the air. They slide along the ground and it finally releases its grip, wings shredded and barely able to move. Although sad he lost his jetpack, KG rolls with the landing and uses the momentum to make a series of athletic swings and jumps to the crow’s nest where he left Kydd sleeping some time ago.

Only now, he wasn’t asleep. The determined silver haired young man steadily rises to his feet, giving a side glance to KG, then looking back down at Ironjaw staring at them both. He says wearily, “On three.”

Robot question of the day, “Why? Isn’t he dead?”

“Just don’t waste this chance I’m giving you!” He jumps down, forming a large blade that extends from his elbow towards the sky. Ironjaw, being the behemoth that he is, out ranges Kydd and straight punches him through the mast he came from. Ironjaw smiles at the foolishness of such an action, but hears a loud robotic voice from above, “OOOOOOOHHHH YEEEAAAAA!!!”

Sonic energy gathers around the robot’s elbow as it comes crashing down on the foe’s extended arm, snapping it in half, like some sort of Slim Jim. Before his last arm regains control, Magnus appears in front of Ironjaw, “Slimy,” His eye locks with Ironjaw’s and a wave of Haki is released from the gaunt scientist’s body, “Transformation!”

“Ribbit.” Which apparently means: “It’s so dry up here, I want to get back to the water,” because the brute turns around and hops off the ship.

“If we meet any Frog Queens Bubba, I’m using that on you.”

“No thanks, I only date inside my species.”

Suddenly, the water erupts into a giant column from an underwater explosion and Ironjaw pulls himself back onto the deck, only half the size he once was, but still bulkier than any of the Jellyfish Pirate crew. “Grahahaha! That was just a suit of powered armor I wear. Still healthy!” He thumps his hairy chest, “Lets do this!!!” He charges Magnus with incredible speed, but… “Stygian Frost!” is thrown back by an icy burst of subzero winter.

“Indeed. Lets do this…” Davy Jones says with cold determination.

Episode 9: Davy Unleashed

Davy snaps his fingers the ice surrounding Ironjaw explodes likes a hurricane of glass shards in a blender. KG stands up and sheathes his flickering sword, now running low on energy. As the hinges clasp back together, he finishes the violent storm when he says, “Echoing Finish.” causing his Booming Elbow’s entrapment to implode its sound barrier in a thunderous rush.

As glittering dust of frost falls down on the area, the Jellyfish pirates ready themselves for Round Two of the conflict. Even Kydd climbs out of the rubble that was once a mast and lurches forward to the front lines, looking the worst for wear. Which is saying something considering he’s standing beside a banged up and falling apart KG. Magnus spins his scalpel and readies it on his shoulder and down his arm, while his other is poised to fire. KG barely notices several plates had been re-attached and bolts refitted within that instant the doctor twirled his weapon about. “I didn’t know you could do that.”

“Of course I can. I’m a Super Genius.”

Ironjaw emerges from the cloud, the final bits of ice falling from his beard and arms. Even that attack seemed to barely phase him. Davy decides to take it up one more notch, “Heaven’s, Blades!” In his right hand, a blade of pure sparkling starlight forms. In his left hand, a blade of almost blinding electricity and lightning. They stare each other down for but a moment that feels like eternity. The tension in the air rises to a climax when a sudden noise begins the battle.

“Ker-shuck!” Bubba’s ballista, now out of bolts, fires a fallen marine through the air and Ironjaw backhands the body out of his way. The Zoan smirks, “I’ve still got one shot left…”

They collide in the center of the ship, Ironjaw moving with blinding speed as he keeps up not only with Magnus, Kydd, and KG’s weaponry, but the dual blades of Davy as well. When the Starshadow blade nearly takes his arm off, he notes that one false move against this foe could spell the end of the battle. Nevertheless, he manages to bring a flying knee into KG’s chest, sending him tumbling away.

The robot throws his blade, which cuts through the air like a boomerang. Sparks fly as it smashes against his target’s trademark iron jaw, returning to him as he finishes climbing the only standing mast left of the Marine battleship.

“Bring it!” Magnus shouts, attempting to lure Ironjaw into a trap.

He takes the bait and somersaults over Davy’s blades, landing in front of the bag-headed scientist and swinging his arm for a wide hay maker. However, Magnus falls out of the way by planting his scalpel into the ground and bending it backwards, springing back into the enemy’s face for a counter attack. “Why are you hitting yourself?”

“Huh?” Ironjaw’s fist comes straight up and into his own chin, causing him to stagger backwards, “You little brat! I thought I recognized your voice. Once I tell your father you’ve been playing pirate, you’ll be sorry!”

Bubba shouts, “You just now recognized him? I thought the paper bag would be a dead give away.”

“He didn’t always wear that.”

Magnus scoffs, “At least your usefulness didn’t change. Besides… it’s too late for me to go back to a normal life! It’s been two days since I brushed my teeth!” He repels back Ironjaw from atop his scalpel perch, by once more making him uppercut himself, “Just wait! After we knock you out, I’ll hide your keys beneath the cushions of your upholstered furniture, and NEVERMORE will you be able to find socks that match!"

KG’s boomerang sword knocks him further back as Davy rushes in. Ironjaw rips apart some of the deck and hurls it at where the robot is sniping from, missing when his target drops from the crow’s nest to some wreckage below. He throws a heavy right hook as the child-looking threat approaches, but the miniaturized captain power-slides under the cyborg’s swing, slicing two large gashes into his legs that explode from damaged machinery as he passes underneath. Davy turns and places his hand on the ground, creating a pentagram of fire on the ground, “Infernal, Flames!” erupting like a small volcano that engulfs his opponent in fire.

Bubba pulls a string attached to the trigger, finally seeing his chance. The siege weapon launches him at break neck speed towards Ironjaw. His chest orb glows with green energy as the feels empowered by an ancient handyman guiding his arm, “Mexican, Dumptruck!!!” Building, fixing, or destroying, he is the master of man-made machinery.

As the fires die out, Bubba’s fist strikes the center of his chest and bolts fly out from his body in all directions. He pulls a full 360 degree spin, bringing his hammer straight into the cyborg’s groin. As Ironjaw’s eyes pop out of head, he can only watch as the Handyman continues his work. A rush of wind passes by as Bubba hovers in the air on insect wings to meet his prey. All four of the plumber’s appendages smash the cyborg’s back, sending plates scattering everywhere. After he craters into the floorboards, Bubba finishes the attack with a heel drop directly onto Ironjaw’s skull.

The captain plants both of his hands on the ground and rises to his feet, throwing Bubba back and roaring at the sky as pieces continue to fall off. Then Davy casually strolls forward, gathering starlight and lightning into each hand, “Heaven’s Blades!” In a single motion the stunned brute loses control of his arms as they fall to ground like two anvil’s dropping. As daylight breaks and Davy changes back to his bandaged form, he looks at his crew member that had suffered the most, “Finish this Kydd.”

The silver haired first mate blinks his eyes, straightening his mind from an almost unconscious fighting state to a moment of crystal clarity. “Adonis’s…” He takes the form of a metal hero, with a wide chest, flowing long hair, and large manly chin, “Fist of Love!” The final punch sends the loosened pieces scattering everywhere and Ironjaw rolling away from the wreckage.

Wait… what?

“Grahahahaha!” Laughs a three foot tall little man, “I’m a cyborg that was piloting a suit of armor that was piloting ANOTHER suit of armor! You’ll never defeat me!”

Magnus walks over, “Eyebeam.” A short zap later, Ironjaw lay knocked out on the floor, defeated.

KG asks, “Can we keep him Captain?”

Davy raises an eyebrow and picks the tiny tyrant up by his underwear, “I think we need to relocate first.”

The gaunt doctor is the first one to yell, “Abandon ship!” as the ocean continues to take the last bits of the ship to a watery grave. He quickly jumps onto what one might consider a debris raft and paddles to the shore using his scalpel, Kydd posing in a romantic fashion at the front. On the other hand, already having a sack full of junk packed and unable to swim, Bubba sits down on his siege weapon, looking back at any funny glances, “Water scares me. Okay?” He then fires himself from the ballista to dry land. KG, in no rush, walks back to land along the bottom of the ocean, giving Fluffybeard a scenic view of the fish lurking under the waves. Finally, Davy with the much weaker child sized captain in hand, swims to the beaches and tosses Ironjaw into the center of his encircled team.

After binding him still with rope, they barrage him with questions, many about his armor, where he got it from, how he managed to maintain it, how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood, etc.

“I bought it and my augments from the Military. I built up quite a line of credit from the Pirate bounties I turned in, along with their lucrative cargo holds. And it doesn’t work for anyone but me, and now, nobody. You trashed it pretty good. As for the maintenance? I contracted the Handyman guild. I don’t know their names, never bothered to ask, but they’d usually send some blond chick with a bandanna and a large wrench.”

“Sounds like my cousin. Had a gap in her front teeth right?” Bubba remarks.

“Yea. Come to think of it, she did sound rather hillbilly.”

“That gap makes for easy access.”

“That’s your cousin Bubba.” KG interjects.

“Your point is…?” The handyman shrugs.

“Now,” Davy says, “what do you know about what the marines are planning?”

“Grahahaha! I’m not saying a word. Giving up sensitive information like that is akin to treason. And traitors go to Impel Down. No thanks.”

“And who are we going to tell? We’ve got soooo many good Marine friends.” Magnus asks.

“You can still tell us and fly free under my flag.” Davy says emphatically.

“Never. You’re all filthy rotten pirates. I’ve seen what you all do.”

“So somebody’s been spying on me in the shower.” Bubba says.

“Lies!” KG objects, “You’ve never used a shower in your life.”

“Well, I’ve always secretly dreamed in my heart, of being a Pirate.” Ironjaw lies quite obviously.

Davy knows, but the greedy heart of a Pirate does beat within him, even if he chooses to put on a Marine uniform, “Come on. There’s plenty of girls, money, girls, oh I said that already… money.”

Magnus notes, “Why don’t we just give him to the ants? Or let him take a swim, I’m sure all the mods in his body will make him swim like a fish.”

Bubba adds, “Or perhaps let me use him for spare parts?”

Sweat rolls down the captive’s brow, “This island’s already under the World Government’s rule. Get rid of me and they’ll just replace me with someone else. I’d rather not have a bounty on my head… but hmm… I’ve got an even better solution for you Davy.”

“Speak.” The pirate captain commands.

“If you let me live, that means I’ll still be the one in charge of this area. That means, they’ll be sending me a new boat in about a week. You can talk with the ants about restoring this old gal you broke apart before they get here. I’ll write it off as destroyed and you’ll have a new ship on your hands.”

Davy thinks for a moment, he did need a ship capable of sailing the Calm Belt. Magnus, as if to read his mind, says “A paddle boat equipped with a sea stone underbelly could prove very use. They’re camouflaged against the sea kings and much less likely to be attacked. It would also allow us to avoid any Marines that may be waiting for us, as well as let us escape the Grand Line when needed Captain.”

Bubba pulls out the winged ant from his over-sized sack of junk, “Think you guys can lend us a hand with repairing that wreckage we just escaped from? I think we’re in a good position to negotiate a Union contract.” After it nods yes, Bubba tries to stuff it back into his sack, but it struggles and eventually escapes him. He waves goodbye to it and shouts, “Alright, tell the Queen to expect us!”

Kydd adds, “And tell her to prepare a LOT of meat!” His stomach was growling fiercely. All that torture and fighting can really work up a man’s appetite.

Davy looks down at Ironjaw, “Agreed then. You can keep what wealth you’ve earned so far, but in return we get your old ship, restored by the Ants… and they get to form a Union.” He leans in closer and speaks softly, “Also, if you happen to capture more pirates, see about recruiting them for me instead of sending them to Impel Down.”

“Grahahaha!” Ironjaw can’t believe these outlaws let him keep even a penny, “We have a deal then. You know, for pirate scum… you’re alright in my book Davy.”

Episode 10: Wanted... or Not?

The days following Ironjaw’s defeat were filled with much joy and celebration. The ants felt a great sadness at the loss of their best soldiers and finest worker, but when news of the incoming unionization arrived, they cherished it more than any craftsman guild ever would have.

Bubba had also constructed the finest of shrines within their great hall using the very hammer they gave him. Each warrior had a statue chiseled from solid stone, each holding a sword into the air victoriously, and each embedded with its name on a plaque hung onto the base. However, at the center of the room was the most magnificent and detailed figure, that of Three. He wasn’t the biggest or fiercest looking, but his segmented eyes held a fierce determination and dream. His arms held a sword, a hammer, a tool belt (the very one that was given to Bubba), and a key. They represented his willingness to fight, his unwavering work ethic, his extension of friendship, and his sacrifice to give them freedom from what was basically, slavery.

Three days past the confrontation, the docks are once again full of life and construction as the resurrection of the Steel Lion reaches its halfway point. KG works tirelessly on the ocean floor, helping to pull salvage from the depths. Bubba is doing what he does best, repairing everything and making sure the toilets and piping were perfect. Magnus oversees the redesign and inspection of the steam engines. Kydd happily provides lunches and refreshments for the entire operation, as well as Fluffybeard’s endless appetite. While Davy prepares a course and navigational charts needed to reach their next island.

As the sun begins to settle, everyone gathers inside the Furry Lobster to enjoy drinks and relax. After a few rounds of toasting, a worker ant hastily bursts into the restaurant. “Big news! You guys are famous!” It shouts, a small stack of papers in his insect arms.

Bubba says, “Cool. Now I’ll be able to pick up chicks!”

KG asks a robot question, “Chickens? Why are you incapable of lifting them?”

The dirty handyman replies, “Aahahaha! Well, no animal is safe. I’ll say that much. You should see my squirrel underwear.” As a furry tail pops from his unfastened and lowering pants, the first poster is revealed, much to the appreciation of everyone in the room.

“WANTED: Bubba “Duece Machina”, Dead or Alive. 30,000,000 for the crimes of piracy, conspiring against the government, and trespassing on food/drink serving premises. (The poster shows two images: one of Bubba’s dirty and normal face, the other of a fancy dressed Cockroach)

“I might just turn myself in for that kind of cash!” The plumber considers, hand on his chin.

“Thirty million? Someone get me a Den Den Mushi!” KG announces, arms outspread and ready to bear hug. However, as the smell of rotting sewage and sweat keeps everyone else away, he reconsiders the solo venture. There’s a reason for the trespassing charge it seems.

“Well, how much are the rest of you worth?” Bubba asks.

WANTED: Fluffybeard, “Scourge of the Four Blues”, Fish Loving Pet and his Mechanized Armor Suit 5,000,000 Beli for the Armor, 40 for the Cat. (The poster shows an image of KG being piloted by a super-imposed picture of Fluffy)

The cat beams happily, since he was the one who submitted the picture and title for approval. KG shows the poster proudly to the cat, “Look Fluffy! You’re famous too! But… what is that you’re driving?”

“A ghost armor?” Bubba and Magnus respond in unison.

“GHOST!?” KG panics, going into high alert, “Where!? Did it follow us all the way here!? Run Fluffy!” He dives behind the bar as the next wanted poster is revealed.
WANTED: Edward Kydd, Dead or Alive. 15,000,000 Beli for the crimes of attempted murder by poisoning, using FDA disapproved ingredients, and an attempted assassination of a Marine Captain. (The poster is an image of him captured and chewing on the chains)_

Bubba comments first, “So that’s how he keeps his iron problem in check.”

Magnus is next, “Luckily, I’m a doctor and not a dentist.”

Kydd, however, yells at the poster, “That wasn’t poison! It was a spicy meatball you son of a bitch!”

Davy interjects, “I believe it was referring to the mushroom plague you unleashed on Ironjaw’s crew… not last night’s dinner.” He places a fist to his mouth and tries to cover a burp that erupts into flames.

“Oh, I guess that makes more sense.” the Iron Chef agrees as the final wanted poster is laid down on the table.

WANTED: “Davy Jones”, FINE of 1,000,000 for anyone attempting to capture. Wanted for the crime of Government Insurgency, Murder, Theft, and Arson. (Picture of the silhouette resembling a Jellyfish)

The worker ant seems puzzled though, “Why would they fine someone for completing completing a bounty on a wanted poster?”

Davy shrugs, “Perhaps there would be too many people calling in false reports over a myth?” However, he knew the actual reason: they didn’t want anyone within the Marines or powerful bounty hunters associating with him. He did have a way with words and only those obstinate fools who believed in Absolute Justice full-heartedly would undertake the task.

Magnus looks at the poster and asks the question, “And mine?”

The ant explains that he didn’t have a wanted poster for the eccentric doctor, but had found something else. He shows everyone a carton of milk.
“HAVE YOU SEEN ME?" Doctor, Magnus Picard. 1,000,000 Beli Reward for his safe return. (The picture bears a striking similarity to Jean Luc Picard of Star Trek fame)_

Every crew member except Magnus bursts out into laughter. The lanky and impossibly tall scientist takes a closer look, while placing a hand up to his chin, “Hmm, not even a close resemblance. I’m much more attractive.”

Bubba exclaims, “So that’s what you look like under that paper bag!”
KG quickly follows up, “Fluffy can ride on your head if you want some hair.”
Kydd offers help as well, “I know some recipes that might help you grow some hair.”
Davy just quietly chuckles to himself behind a mug of beer.

“I shave my head regularly thank you very much! Don’t make me shave you with my scalpel!” Magnus threatens.

Robot inquiry, “But why bother if you are just going to wear a paper bag all the time?”

Kydd jumps to the conclusion, “The skin to bag contact must provide better grip.”

“Might also cause static electricity build up.” Bubba interjects.

“Nooo,” Magnus explains, “do you know how much sweaty hair and paper bags itch?”

Just then, the Buggy Pirate Brothers enter the room, lead by a third, much taller, meaner looking fellow. He’s clad in a frayed, gray coat and wears a leather tricorn on his long face. Certainly not pretty by any stretch of the word, but he carries a stern air of leadership about himself.

“I’m lookin’ for da guy dat sprung me out of da brig of dat Marine ship.” He bellows over the crowd. His tone and accent is uncouth, but confident.

Bubba playfully shoves Fluffybeard forward. “Meow!” the small cat boasts, proclaiming that HE was the genius behind everything. That is, if anyone could actually understand him.

“My crew informs me, you were da one dat kicked Ironjaw’s ass. I remember ya bein’… taller though.” He scratches his head, trying to figure out the situation.
“Mew!” (I puff myself up in times of danger to look big.) Fluffy explains, but his information falls upon deaf ears.

“I, ugh, also remember ya speakin’ human.”

Red interrupts the conversation to make clear the muddy waters, “He’s a shape shifter Boss! He’s got many forms!”

Kydd desperately wants to correct them, but decides to hold his tongue. When the trio’s leader recognizes the fellow ex-prisoner, Davy finally stands up to speak. The mythical captain lurches forward, the alcohol and dry land causing him to wobble a little bit, “I’ll stand in for the captain, but he kicked Ironjaw’s ass with his crew’s help. Not alone.”

Although the form was different, the shadow was eerily familiar: a Jellyfish silhouette. He smiles, “Hehe, suppose you’ll do. Just wantin’ ta thank ya for da rescue. Heavens know these two couldn’t have pulled it off.”

Red objects, “We totally had everything under control Boss!”

“It was a group effort.” Davy adds, “They got the key. We handled the rest.”

“Well, just to be showin’ my thanks, I wanted ta give ya a gift.” He extends his hand and a rather tiny mosquito-bat perches on top of it, “His name’s Red. Can’t really do much in da way o’ fightin’, but he’s an excellent messenger Batskeeto.”

It inflates its chest with pride. “Or, you can cook em’ if ya like.” Red’s eyes grow big with terror. Kydd further adds to the fire, “I could probably whip up a Batskeeto Bar-be-que.”

Davy graciously accepts the small pet, propping it onto his shoulder before tipping his hat, “I’ll call you Red Zippo, little bat.”

The man wearing a tricorn also introduces himself, “My name’s Probby. Captain o’ da Buggy Pirates. Soon as we find a ship, we’ll be hittin’ da waters for da’ Grand Line.”

Kydd comments, “There’s already a famous Pirate by the name of Buggy. Sure you don’t want to take a name change to Swarm Pirates?”

Probby looks pissed and smacks the two cohorts beside him simultaneously, “Told ya all da good Pirate names are taken. Anyways… What’s yer name?”

“Davy Jones.” Not a drip of sarcasm or humor fell from his voice.

“Brahahaha!!!” The fellow captain erupts into laughter, before falling silent at the possibility, “Yer… jokin’ right?”

“No.” Davy says, holding up his wanted poster. His shadow was a dead match for the inspired drawing. “However, I’ve an old ship that I don’t plan on using anymore. Perhaps you’d be interested in sailing it? Under your own flag of course, but also under my very name.”

“That’s quite generous o’ ya! Any other terms o’ dis transaction?”

“Just one. Never bring dishonor to my name. Show mercy to civilians who ask for it. I don’t mind if you steal from them, especially if they’re nobles. People are too attached to their wealth anyways. Life is the one treasure you should respect.”

“Sounds like a rule I can live with. You can count me as an ally. You can use Red to contact us anytime you need us.”

“Then be safe and one day, when the seas are calm and the time is right, lets share a drink. Allies and friends are a good idea to keep in this day and age.”

Kydd comments, “Friends are the greatest treasure in all the seas.”

Bubba, also feeling emotional, says, “Aww, I think I’m going to cry! Nothing beats friends for fishing bai-”

A squeeking noise catches the plumbers ear. However, his mind heard it as, “You probably cry tears of urine.” He looks around, then fixes his stare on Red Zippo, “Wait. I can understand you?”

“I can also…” Red flies over to the bar, dips his proboscis into some ketchup, and begins writing on the wall for everyone to read, “I’ll try my hardest to not be eaten.”

Probby bellows out a laugh, “Brahahaha! Yep! Red dere’s a pretty smart little guy. We even sent him off ta college! Wanted a ship dentist, but little bastard changed majors ta become a lawyer! Bloodsuckers will be bloodsuckers I guess.”

Kydd raises a eyebrow in amazement, “A robot that talks to a cat. A roach that talks to a batskeeto. Am I going to start talking to trees next?” Magnus reminds him that he already does. “Hey!” Kydd objects, “One day it’ll turn out to be a wood nymph!”

A smile on their faces and eyes full of gratitude, Probby, Azure, and Crimson bid goodbye, “Farewell. And may da seas bring ya good fortune… Davy Jones.”

The Jellyfish captain tips his hat, “And the same to you Probby.” The rest of the crew raise their glasses and Kydd shouts a final farewell, “So long Swarm Pirates!”

After they leave, everyone can hear two loud thumps, “Before we set sail, we’re having a name change session! Why did all da good names have ta be taken?”

The party eventually dies out and the Jellyfish Pirates leave shortly after the last call for alcohol is made. Davy stumbles out the door last, nearly bumping into the others, “Huh? What’s happening?”

Apparently several large fearsome insects burst from the ground and surrounded them. Then a large chest bounces forward, (no, not a woman’s chest, a wooden treasure chest) “Mrphmrfm!" It mutters incomprehensibly, while a large and round female, with arms like a gorilla, walks out of the shadows to interpret, “My brother demands the key to this “Infernal Box”.”


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