It’s a beautiful day on the open seas, perfect for sailing. The sky is an azure blue and speckled with clouds, the sun is bright and warm like blankets, and the seagulls buzz loudly overhead.
Wait… buzz? Actually, this flock is more like a blood thirsty swarm of mosquito-bats and unfortunately the entire crew seems a little distracted with passing a boring day at sea with their daily routines. Deep below, the cook Edward Kydd is busy preparing the next meal. Above him, the ship’s handyman, Bubba Machina, is busy taking an inventory of his trash heap. In the medical bay, Doctor Magnus is carefully mixing and testing reagents. While in the Crow’s nest, instead of being lookouts, KG and Fluffybeard play with a ball of yarn. Finally, Davy Jones, the mythical captain himself, smiles at the first sign of edible cooking in days and prepares to chow down.
The mosquito-bats land on the deck unnoticed. After sniffing around, several find their way below deck, curiously wandering towards the pile of trash. Bubba hears the buzzing as they descended downstairs, but doesn’t see them crawling on the ceiling above him.
“Damn bugs, where’s my spray?” As he turns to rummage through his can collection, they drop from the ceiling and sink their proboscis into his back and neck. However, after a quick taste, they drop to the floor twitching and green. Seeing reinforcements coming, Bubba rears his fist back and punches forward, “Break, Wind!”
A sonic boom knocks the bugs out of the air and a swift punch from his other hand flattens the biggest one. Two fatter ones flank him from each side, but a pair of clawed roach appendages sprout from his back and slice them down. “Evil bugs!”
No, he doesn’t get the hypocrisy of the statement and continues to gloat, “Don’t mess with the Bubba!”
In the medical bay, Magnus nearly causes his medicine lab to explode, distracted by all the buzzing outside. “Arrrgh! What is that noise? Don’t make me flip off the cat!”
“What the hell is going on up there?!” Kydd remarks with a mouthful of mushrooms, anger mushrooms. He turns around to see more flying into his kitchen. He grins maliciously, “I just found lunch!” However, as his right hand’s knuckles sprout a three foot long blade, he notices their target was not him, but the water supply. “I’LL KILL YOU!!!”
He rushes forward and roundhouse kicks one into the wall. His blade arcs in a wide circle to cut down several more. However, he was a little too late and those that dove into the water hatched their eggs, bringing a swarm that began to encircle him. They fall left and right, while those that were lucky enough to actually feast, found themselves laden with a stomach full of iron and unable to fly. Instead, they plummet into the water and drown.
KG looks down from his high vantage point, telling Fluffy to stay put while he handles the pest issue. He leaps out, finding a robotic joy in the falling sensation, calculating only moments later that such a fall might hurt his leg servos. Sparks fly from his knees and the mosquito-bats dart straight for him. His metal plating turns some of their mouths aside, while others manage to pierce the occasional joint, only to find a disgusting oil instead of blood.
The robot stands up straight despite the attacks and vents are opened on his chest. A cold fog seeps out of him, latches can be heard unhinging his weapon, and he begins to slowly unsheathe his sword from its scratching post scabbard. “Whirling, Frostblade!” In a quick and deadly motion he spins and freezes the surrounding pests mid air, then reunites his weapon once more. He raises it above him and a humming noise begins to stir from the sword, “Booming, Blade!” The robot shouts as he slams the scabbard onto the ground, letting loose a sonic boom that shatters the ice blocks around him. Looking up, he sees one perched on the crows nest and hears Fluffy hissing.
“Lightning,” He extends his left hand towards his target, “Hook!” then plates on his arm open and pull back to show a spool of superconductor wires, charged with electricity. Suddenly, the bat finds itself struck by the static shock and pulled towards his hand. Its sojourn ends at the very last second as he swings back and lets the bat-bug slam against the ground. “Don’t you mess with Fluffykins!”
“Mew!” (I totally had that handled, but thanks though KG!)
At that time, Magnus kicks open his medical bay door, arms outstretched and ready. Upon seeing the next wave incoming, he lets loose with twin smart rockets that lock on and strike true. Another pair is launched into the wave as they approach, but this pack is certainly the largest and most troublesome so far.
He loads up a vial from his shirt pocket into his wrist launcher. “Fine then. Alchemic, Fire!” The vial jets forward and explodes into a crimson inferno within the middle of the pack. Only a single one escapes though and it makes an dizzying beeline for the Doctor, but as soon as it gets close enough to bite him, “Eye, beam!” his eye lights up and a pinpoint ray of light sends it crashing to the floor.
Davy looks up from his dinner, the feelings of rage building up within him. “Death to all that crawl on my wall!” He says as he invokes a bolt of starlight from his palm. After it splatters against the wall, he stands up and leaves the captain’s quarters. Walking out onto the deck, he asks if that was the last of them.
“Atomic,” A green glow begins to envelop Bubba’s forearm, “Wasteland!” A green light flashes from the open trap doors leading downstairs and the handyman arrives top deck. “Is now Captain… but what’s that delicious smell?”
Magnus replies back with another question, “Ugh! Did you fart Bubba?”
“Boohahahaha! Oh I can assure you no!” remarks a small man with jagged teeth and simple red clothes.
“Um, that was in reply to the first question. There’s plenty more!” retorted an almost identical man wearing simple blue clothes instead. He opens his arms and a veritable army of bugs rises from the barge behind him. “But… I’m not sure if that guy farted or not. Seriously, wasn’t me.”
In the distraction from the earlier waves, a trash barge had pulled up alongside the Jelly Pirates’ ship and began boarding. “Now!” They say in unison, unaware of a metallic man seeping through the floor grates behind him, “Give us all your gold and treasure! The Buggy Pirates demand it!”
“Buggy?” Kydd says, his stealth dropped at the shock, “You mean that famous weakling?” His bladed arms still at the ready.
“What!?! Our… pirate name… is taken?!? How are we supposed to make a name for ourselves when there’s an even more famous pirate already with our crew name?" The red one asks.
“Are you serious?” The blue one asks.
Kydd nods assuredly, “The Buggy Pirates were actually lead by Buggy the Clown, who started on Gol D Roger’s ship. He hates Strawhat Luffy and loves banana pudding.”
KG looks down at Fluffybeard, “Banana pudding?”
“Umm, time out! Time out time out! I have to consult with my brother on this.” The red shirted man pleas.
KG again questions the the humans’ logic, “Time out? Can they really do that?” Everyone else shakes their head.
“They said time out, this isn’t kindergarten. We pirates use Parley.” Davy says before giving a nod to Magnus. “Bombs away!”
“Huh? Where are they going?” Another robot question.
A couple red tubes roll between the two brothers and one fiery alchemical explosion later, they find themselves rolling around trying to put out the flames. “Hot hot hot!”
Davy readies his battle stance, “Cook, how many ways can you roast them?” Kydd answers back without any hesitation, “17.”
“Parley! Seriously! This is important, give us a moment to talk amongst ourselves!” they say and Davy begrudgingly gives them three minutes. The idiot pair huddle together and whisper amongst themselves while the Jellyfish crew closes in. “Excuse us? We’re having a
private conversation. Unless you have more information on this Buggy guy, stop trying to eavesdrop."
Kydd, always ready to give of his enormous database of magazine knowledge, adds, “Buggy the Clown. Wielder of the power of the Chop Chop Fruit. Has no funny material. Prefers boxers, not briefs. He’s famous for his participation in the Battle of Marineford.”
Turning back to their huddle they all begin to nod in unison, “Sounds like a really strong guy. Also, I like boxers and banana pudding too! I think we know what we must do now.” Some sort of commotion follows in the next minute with their parlay time ticking away. As it comes to an end, both the little men and mosquitoes turn around to show newly painted clown faces, “All hail Lord Buggy! We’re going to become his second division!”
Of course, the Jellyfish crew were already waiting to unleash their assault upon the crowded Buggy Pirates, Second Division squad. Magnus unleashes an air blast from his hand cannons, sending them flying off the side of the ship and Davy steps up knowing he can use some real power without worry of destroying the side of his vessel. Both of his hands open their palms to the sky as he gathers power, his left hand glowing with an icy blue, his right hand glowing with a fiery red.
“Infernal, Flames!” He says as his right clenches into a fist, summoning fires that swirl into the center of the pack and explode. His left hand prepares the finisher, as the energy concentrates into his thumb and finger. “Stygian, Frost!” He shouts as a left handed snap causes a explosion of ice within the center of the field. The resulting mixture releases steam and smoke in all directions.
The battle and remains of the mosquito bugs gathered the attention of a small school of sea kings that look like giant monster crayfish. One even decides to climb aboard in order to get more snacks. Unfortunately, the boiling blood, or probably just the angry mushrooms, prompt Kydd into immediate action. “Those are mine!!!”
Even Davy joins the frenzy, claiming that fried crayfish is going to make the dinner course. Unfortunately, only Magnus was thinking straight when considering the power that such a thing has in close combat. An ineffective slap of Kydd’s sword against its hide, followed by only a minor scratch from Davy’s Starshadow blade, entices Bubba to join in. He sprouts wings and flies straight at it. Using an ancient Handyman secret technique, he finds a weakness in its carapace, “Underwear, Shredder!” smashing into its face and cracking part of its exoskeleton, but also enraging it.
It retaliates with one massive slam from its claw, sending the handyman to the bottom deck stunned and bloodied. A flurry of quick jabs sends the others flying across the deck, severely hurt. Magnus however, takes a different route and air blasts the bug snacks from the deck and into the ocean, trying to convince it that the crew would taste horrible and that it should hurry back down into the water before the other crayfish eat everything else. It stares eye to eye with him for a moment, finally deciding to jump back into the water.
Meanwhile on the trash barge, the brothers climb on board, thanking their lucky stars that they survived the crayfish infested waters and previous elemental assault. They shake their fists at their opponents, vowing revenge, only to be greeted by a cannonball that pokes a hole in their hull. In a panic they speed off and “sink” into the horizon, paddling as fast as they can.
Bubba holds his ribs and releases the sails for maximum speed. Magnus on the other hand, has to hold Davy and Kydd down with strong medicine, while KG steers the ship away at full speed. “Mew!” (They did look tasty!) “Maybe next time Fluffy.”
As they approach the island, Kydd and Davy regain their senses, feeling a calm rush over them. T urning around in his chair and holding the analysis of the two’s previous meal, Magnus informs them, "The effects of the anger mushrooms are only temporary, fading as soon as you just sit down and relax for a bit.”
Davy gives a glare to Kydd, “Maybe the effects haven’t fully worn off for me yet, Doc.”
“That’s odd. I’ll check the data once more.”
Kydd shrugs in reply, giving a silly grin and apology for another failed recipe. “I’ll call it, the Unhappy meal!”